I try to stop myself from crying. What happened today surely won't happen tomorrow. Teenagers are just mean like that. I'm not weird, I'm just... different. But different is weird. Ugh, I'm making this worse. It's okay, I'm... okay. I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me. Plenty of other girl are like me. I know it because they are always on my social media feed. They seem happy and well put together, and they are confident in their passions, and they own the fact that they care about school and like reading and... why can't I be like them? Why do I care so much if the popular kids make fun of me? Why do I hide in the bathroom to cry when they tell me they can't stand me?

Anyway, I'm here. Just the thing to cheer me up during a tiresome fall day - Pumpkin Spice Latte.

I walk in, practicing the order and how to order in my head, the last thing I'd want would be for the social anxiety to kick in at the wrong time, too. "Hello, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, please. With extra cinnamon, if you don't mind." "Hello, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, please. With extra cinnamon, if you don't mind." "Hello, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, please. With extra cinnamon, if you don't mind." "Hello, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, please. With extra cinnamon, if you don't mind." "Hello, a Pumpkin Spice Latte, please. With extra cinnamon, if you don't mind." Okay, I got it. I got it. I- don't got it. 

There is a new barista, and, oh, wow. He's hot. He looks my age. He seems sweet. His dark hair is so fluffy like one of those boys on Pinterest boards. He has deep blue eyes. The kind that makes me want to drown in them, like a stormy ocean. And, oh- I literally am losing my cool. He asked me twice what I would like to order, but I can only think about how smooth his voice is and how my cheeks are burning and how I hope it doesn't show on the outside, too. 

"Oh, me? Yes, uhm. A-a pumpkin spice frappe, no! A pumpkin spice latte, with uhm, extra cinnamon. To go." I managed to say, but then I realised I had forgotten the magic word, so I added, "Please."

"Ok, so a Pumpkin Spice Latte with extra cinnamon. What size?" he repeated, slightly amused. Oh, no. I've embarrassed myself. 

"Yes." I replied, he was almost starting to laugh and I remembered I had forgotten about my drink's size, "Tall."

"Got it." He said as he grinned at me.

He started working on it, and I was so ashamed of myself. He could be the love of my life and I had no idea what to do. Should I small talk? No, I wouldn't be able to properly speak. What was I supposed to do? I was freaking out, I almost didn't hear him when he said:

"You seriously need to relax."

I looked at him questioningly, frankly, I think I stared at him, and he continued, "You seem nice, but you are so in your head, stop taking everything so seriously. You look like a scared bunny, walk in like you own this place." he paused and stared at me, then picked back up where he left on, "Based on your uniform, I can assume that you go to Ashton High. Aren't you lot literally known all around town for being rude? Last Monday at the game, Paul Smith literally slammed me into the wall after I scored against him." 

"Sorry about him, he's the worst. I wasn't at the game, I didn't want to be there in case we lost. Some team members are rather... competitive. You go to Hamilton, then?"

"Yeah. This is my last year."

"Mine, too."

He turned around and then handed me the latte, "Your Pumpkin Spice. Have a nice day, and maybe see you around if you decide to go to the future games between Ashton and Hamilton or come back here? You'll find my Lattes are to die for."

I laughed, and for the first time that day, I could feel that I wasn't so tense anymore.

The next couple of weeks, I ran back to that coffee shop every single day after school. We even exchanged phone numbers! He followed me on social media and even liked all my posts. 

The one thing I was looking forward to every day when I was at school was going to talk to Alec. I found myself sending him memes about books we'd both read. I even learnt the rules of basketball because he was on his school's team. I was down BAD.

"Hey, Alec." I said as I entered the familiar coffee shop. I stopped taking my latte to go, instead I sat down at the sleek table near the counter and talked to him while he was preparing to go to school after his shift. He was nonchalant, as always

"Why, hello there, Harper." He handed me a mug - Pumpkin Spice Latte with extra cinnamon (the only thing I ever ordered), "It's on the house since it's your 25th Pumpkin Spice. That called for a celebration."

I was trying so hard not to blush. 

"Thank you." I said very quickly, "Did you get the results yet?" I asked him, he applied early to his dream university and I was so excited for him. I prayed he'd get in. He wanted to be a doctor. 

"Not yet," he said, visibly getting nervous. There, I've messed it all up. AGAIN! "But on a less stressful note," he began and came to sit down next to me and grabbed my hand, "my parents are organising a Halloween party. I was wondering if you'd want to come. As my", he got nervous, "date."

I was internally screaming. 

"Yeah, yeah, sure. I'd love to. It'd be cool. I don't have any plans, so yeah." I tried to act cool, but in my mind I was throwing up, I was unable to breathe, I was screaming, because ALEC THOMPSON ASKED ME TO BE HIS DATE!!!!!

"Great! That's great!" he let out a relieved sigh. "So, uhm, would you like to do a matching costume or if you wouldn't, it'd be fine, anyway. It's up to you." And there he goes, acting nonchalant again. But I made him not act like he was a relaxed robot for like 5 minutes, so it was a win for me.

But, hold on. Did he want us to have matching costumes or did he say that because he didn't actually want that and he was sending me a signal that he didn't want to have matching costumes. What was I supposed to do, I had no idea. I decided to go ahead and drown myself in Pumpkin Spice Latte because that seemed easier than answering him.

"Slow down, you'll choke." he said while letting out a chuckle.

I put the empty mug down and said, "I don't have any preference, I mean whatever you prefer. I'm down for anything."

He looked at me, his expression unreadable, and then he said, "Okay, well, what would you want to dress up as?"

Was this a test? It felt like a test. What did she want to dress up as? Something interesting, something cool, something...

But her mouth didn't help her because she said:

"My dad is going to retire on November 1st, so I thought it would be fun to dress up as a firefighter."

That was not cool. That was not mysterious. That was late. 

And yet, he smiled a warm smile, his eyes were so soft, like the sea on a warm summer day (I've got to stop comparing his eyes with water in different settings).

"Okay, I have an idea, too. But I'd rather surprise you." He got up and went behind the counter. "My shift's done in 10 minutes, if you want we could walk together to my school since it's on the way to your house. 

And we did!!! We laughed, we held hands, I tried to get him to tell me what he was going to dress up as, to which he said, "Don't ruin the surprise." AND IT WAS INCREDIBLE. 

And Saturday they were going to the Halloween party. TOGETHER. AS A DATE! 

I could not breathe. It was going to be in 2 days' time. 

And those days flew right by, unbeknownst to me, I was suddenly in the car with my mom on the way to the party.

She was going with me through the do's and don'ts list, that wasn't even done by the time we were in his drive way, "And remember, I'll pick you up at-"

"10 PM sharp. I know. Love you." I interrupted her as I got out of the car.

He lived in a typical suburban house with his mother, step father and little sister. The house was decorated for Halloween with about 15 Jack 'o' Lanterns, spider webs, and skeletons. I rang the doorbell and I must admit, I got a little scared when I heard "GET OUT OF MY LAWN OR DIE!" in a sinister voice, but it all was fine when Alec opened the door. And he was dressed up as a... dalmatian? He was wearing a white t-shirt with black spots and white jeans with the same pattern, he had a red chocker with his name written on it and fake dog ears. 

"You're a dalmatian?" I asked, not believing it. I thought he'd dress up as a superhero or something, but I'd never imagined him dressing as a dog.

"Well, you're a firefighter. Firefighters have dalmatians, so... woof." He said, still not breaking out of his nonchalant act. But I could tell he was nervous when he grabbed my hand and asked me to come in.

His parents must've spent weeks on decorating the house because they'd managed to make it seem like a mad scientist's laboratory, down to the littlest detail. They even changed the flooring and installed neon lights!
"Wow. You must've worked really hard on this." I say.

"My mom did pretty much everything. Caleb and I just installed the lights, the wallpaper and the peel on tiles that I think will destroy the flooring when we'll take them out because she insisted we needed more glue than they had on them. But then she spent hours making sure everything looked like a mad scientist lived here. We should probably go upstairs or in the kitchen, though. Unless you want to be babysitters to every single child in this neighbourhood."

"Good point, let's go."

And he led me to the kitchen that was heavily decorated, too. I tried some Pumpkin Pie that was absolutely delicious while he told me a bunch of Halloween related dad jokes. His stepdad even came in once and started telling us his jokes, and it's safe to say that they have the same sense of humour. 

Anyway, we stayed there for an hour which meant that I had only one hour left. Meanwhile people started to come into the kitchen, so we went outside, where we talked about our future plans and he told me that he got into his dream university! I was so incredibly proud of him and if all went well, we'd live in the same city. 

Then my mom called to tell me that she was outside and he led me to the drive way where he said:

"So, uh, I guess I'll see you on Monday?" 

"Yes. See you then." I replied, smiling, when he pulled me in and kissed me.