I am Emma Mills, I used to be a teenager like every single one of those you walk past on the street, or that you see on your devices. I used to roll my eyes and get mad when I was distressed and my mother told me it was that stupid phone. 

While the PE teacher was yelling at me to pick up the pace, a bunch of my classmates who faked being sick took my phone and recorded a bunch of videos that they uploaded to my social media and then scrolled until the bell rang. When I arrived to check my phone, I gasped in terror when I saw 4%. It felt as though the whole Earth stopped spinning. The Universe had decided that I was doomed for eternity and there was absolutely no way I could ever get home.

I still had 5 classes left, so I had to survive without a phone. I showered quickly in the nightmare bathrooms and then I went to the other classes. In between them, I realised that nobody is actually socialising. That we started using the phrases we were typing on the Internet in real life conversations. I thought about how I couldn't keep my focus in class and I was reaching for my dead phone. I looked around at the fingers of my classmates that had never stopped scrolling. 

After Maths and History, I simply refused to believe that my attention span has declined without me even noticing it, so I ran to the library and sat down with a book. I couldn't stay focused.

I breathed, it wasn't a permanent thing, I could fix this. 

I tried my best to analyse my classmates behaviour in between classes again. 

No empathy. Bullying. Short tempers. Using the same two words over and over. Scrolling. Taking pictures and videos. Using phrases from the Internet in every single sentence.

Afterwards, I walked home. I noticed that people weren't even paying attention to what was going on. It felt surreal now that I was paying attention. 

It was dangerous, too. So many people were crossing the street without looking if a car was heading towards them, drivers were on their phones and I'd never noticed it because I was stuck in my own little bubble. 

I saw little boys pushing each other, heard them saying racial slurs and some very misogynistic stuff. And then little girls who wore makeup when even I at 17 don’t! Their precious baby skin is destroyed by skincare products designed for grown women! 

Maybe Mum’s right. Maybe it was that damn phone sometimes. I arrived home and then, after I charged it, something curious’ happened… I, for once, didn’t feel the need to scroll until my eyes hurt. I decided that I wanted to try something else. I found a piece of paper and a mechanical pencil and I started sketching the vase I had on my desk with the pink roses a boy, Caleb, gave me the previous day after I’d won an English contest. I looked pleased at the sketch and then got up and headed to my bed. I laid awake, staring at the light lilac walls and the posters of my favourite singers. How I wished I’d gone to their concerts! Concert goes say that you aren’t a real fan unless you go to a concert and I want to say that I’m a real fan as I am one!

I get so overwhelmed by the feeling that my parents can’t afford concert tickets to my favourites. Everyone on social media says that you must own merch and go to concerts in order to be a real fan. I suppose they are right. If they weren’t, then why would so many people agree?

It’s overwhelming and it makes me feel small, though. I’m unlike anyone from social media. I don’t have the perfect weight, but I can’t say that I’m fat either because I have an alright weight. It’s not perfect. I don’t have perfect white teeth either. I don’t have a nice hair colour. I’m a redhead. It’s annoying because everyone bullies me for it. I have green eyes, but they look bad in pictures. Nowhere as nice as the green eyes influencers have. 

I get up and head to the mirror. I always seem to notice things my mom says are unnoticeable, but I see them and I'm sure that if I dare to post a picture of myself on the Internet I will get hate. 

'I'm ridiculous!' I told myself, I let my self love disappear because I wasn't Influencer material. I needed to stop. Before I could realise what I was doing - I deleted all my social media platforms. I started drawing a lot more - I even got showcased at my school's gallery - and I started connecting with people in my life. I started to love myself again and, to be honest, I miss social media sometimes, but at least I have more free time.