Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A black one...
***
Customer: Hi, I can't get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, but it's really stuck. Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note ...
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry ....
***
Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
***
Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and ...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damnit!
***
Hi, Good afternoon, I can't print. Every time I try it says'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it infront of the monitor,
but the computer still says he can't find it...
Â
***
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: No.
***
Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now madam?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.
***
Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing's happening...
***
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Oh...that one does work!
***
Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
***
A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
***
Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape Navigator.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
***
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my computer,
but every time I move the mouse, it disappears!
***
Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?
Helpdesk: Oh..? Pardon, I don't understand your problem?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago.
Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?
***
Helpdesk: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it?
***
Customer: My internet is not working.
Helpdesk: Can you close all windows and go back to desktop?
(after some time)
Helpdesk: Can you see 'My Computer' icon on the desktop now?
Customer: No.
Helpdesk: Have you closed the windows?
Customer: I have already closed all the windows of my house.
***
Helpdesk: Can you click 'My computer' icon on the screen?
Customer: How can I click on your computer?
***
Customer: I cannot connect to internet.
Helpdesk: Are you in front of your computer?
Customer: Yes.
Helpdesk: What do you see now on your computer?
Customer: The computer is still in the box.
***