Post date: Jun 20, 2010 3:00:37 AM
Dear buddies, friends and loved ones of Tom Luter,
My father passed away this evening, surrounded by all 4 of us kids, the kids’ spouses, and my mom, his wife of 48 years. As you probably know, last night he was intebated (put on a respirator) and although we still had hope this morning, his blood pressure soon became uncontrollable and his blood acid reached and stayed too high (a sign of liver failure). It was clear he was having multiple organ failure. Somewhere around 3:30pm, he had started to “code.” The doctor told us to bring everyone together. For several hours, we all were with dad as he lay there with a tube helping him breathe, before the medicines and dialysis were turned off. At 6:32pm, his heart stopped – as did parts of ours – and the doctor declared his death.
Due to the recent (probable) diagnosis of such a rare syndrome, an autopsy will be performed – mostly just in case it can help further the research for and awareness of rare syndromes like HLH. Per his wishes, dad will be cremated after the autopsy. I guess tomorrow we'll start planning the memorial service - we're thinking maybe Wednesday but it's unclear right now.
My father was loved almost instantaneously by everyone who met him. Seriously. That's what everyone says and I've seen it to be true. Even partially incoherent or not quite alert a couple weeks ago in the hospital, he still had the nurses and nursing assistants truly smitten. My love for him is one unlike any other I can imagine. To me, they don’t make ‘em like my dad anymore; I told him recently that that’s why I can’t find a good boyfriend.
I am, we all are quite devastated but still holding it together, mostly -- predominantly because our mother needs us. As she said tonight on the drive home from Chapel Hill, she hasn't been away from him, really, since she was 23 years old. Their lives as husband & wife are so intertwined that none of us are sure how to accept this.
Today, we told dad that he could feel free to go, to be at peace, to not have to be poked and prodded anymore. We told him we could and would take of things from now on. And to do that, we might need your help, your emotional support.
Thank you for all the positive energy you have been sending us all month. We greatly appreciate it. And we so very much appreciate your continued thoughts and prayers for our family.
A memorial service will be held at 1:00 p.m. Thursday, June 3, 2010 at Bay Leaf Baptist Church <http://www.bayleaf.org/directions.html> in Raleigh.
If you’d like to pay tribute to Tom, please think of these great organizations:
BSF International <https://dlq4.donatelinq.net/bsfdonate/BSFDonation.aspx?BSCI=1051140718125> (bsfinternational.org);
UNC Hospital SECU Family House <http://secufamilyhouse.org/donate/donate-now/> (secufamilyhouse.org); and
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society <https://www.leukemia-lymphoma.org/all_page?item_id=69374> (leukemia-lymphoma.org).
Much love,
Nicole
proud daughter of Tom & Bev Luter
(from Tom/Bev’s email address)
Beverly’s home address:
Beverly Luter
1705 Hunting Ridge Rd.
Raleigh, NC 27615