Story-5

A GAME OF COMEDIANS

As most of you know, bridge has been around for centuries, albeit in different forms. The version that we use today has evolved since Harold Vanderbilt popularized that form in the 1920’s. Many famous people enjoy bridge and as regulars in the bridge world we revel in knowing about them…from former Pres. Dwight Eisenhower, to Omar Sharif, former Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, Warren Buffet, to Bill Gates. Less known is that many well-known comedians have been known to pick up the gauntlet and try the game, often while they were in-between production pieces at their studios.

So it was, that we find two of the most comedic pairs of movie history who found themselves sitting on opposite sides of the bridge table. We have retrieved one of the more well-known hands from an early archive between (Bud) Abbott and (Lou) Costello and the more experienced pair of (Stan) Laurel and (Oliver) Hardy. As the game was preparing to begin, we heard snippets of their conversation. Costello was complaining to Abbott that he never let Costello play the hand, often not even accepting his transfers! Further, Hardy was complaining to Laurel that he was going to have to put down better dummies than he had been doing. So there was a lot banter as the pairs began to play plus a little bit of system as the first hand was dealt.

Preface it to say that neither of the pairs could fairly be called competent. But who needs competence when you are having fun playing bridge? By agreement, Laurel and Hardy were vulnerable on the first board and Abbott and Costello were not.

Here is the hand:

While 6♣ looks good on a 3-2 ♣ break and at least one red suit finesse working, and while 3NT has a decent path to 9-12 tricks, that is not what happened here! Here was the auction:

LAUREL

♠ AK

♥ 76

♦ 85

♣ AK65432

Some explanations are in order…

(1) Abbott didn’t know what to do with this hand as weak 2 bids had not yet been invented. He knew it wasn’t suitable for an opening one bid and pre-empting at the 3-level seemed a bit much. So he compromised and opened 2♠!

(2) Hardy hated to decide between two equal suits, even if one was a major. He didn’t know what 3♠ would mean but he did know that doubling for takeout on this hand would be a mistake. So he settled on a bid which he hoped to say to partner “Do something intelligent. I have a good hand but have no idea what to do,” a theme we see often duplicated at our club.

(3) Laurel’s bid is nothing fancy and is only footnoted because it is the only normal bid of the auction!

(4) Clearly Hardy had no intention of playing 4♣. Still not wanting to choose a red suit to bid, he deferred the decision once again to partner. “Partner,” he was thinking, “would you do something intelligent this time?

(5) So Laurel thought for a few seconds before bidding. “I don’t understand any of this bidding,” he thought. LHO opens with ♠s and then partner bids them twice. I’ve got pretty good ♠ support. So he passed!

(6) How could he not double? He had 6 ♠s and his partner had shown support. No way the opponents can make 4♠? So ignoring the principle of refusing to double a contract you know you can beat when there is a possibility that they may run to a contract that you can’t beat, he said DOUBLE.

Then Costello was the one with the problem. He was on lead and he had never heard an auction like this one. His partner had opened ♠s and then the opponents had bid ♠s twice and had settled comfortably in 4♠. Was it possible that partner had psyched? It was not unlike Abbott to try something clever at this vulnerability…like psyching with only one or two in the suit. So he decided to make a safe lead. He lead the ♥J.

When Hardy saw the heart lead he was immediately delighted. That soon changed when he saw the dummy. “Are you kidding me?…we are in a 4 level contract on a 2-2 fit,” he thought. Then he uttered the words that has remained forever in Hollywood folklore…”Here’s another fine mess you’ve gotten me into.”

Surveying the dummy, he was immediately glad that he had not received a ♠ lead. And he had no intention of leading trumps himself. Doing so would leave him with no trump and his opponents with 5 or 6. Out of the question. He decided he had better get as many side-suit tricks as possible before beginning his crossruff.

COSTELLO

♠ 432

♥ J1098

♦ J109

♣ QJ10

HARDY

♠ Q10

♥ AQ543

♦ AQ432

♣ 7

ABBOT

♠ J98765

♥ K2

♦ K76

♣ 98

He won the ♥Q and cashed the A, noting the fall of the K. Then he cashed two rounds of ♣s, pitching a ♥ from hand. Not wanting to ruff a ♣ yet, he took a ♦ finesse successfully and then cashed the ♦A. He already had 6 tricks in. Here were the remaining cards:

LAUREL

♠ AK

♥ -

♦ -

♣ 6543

He ruffed a ♦ with the ♠K. Then ruffed a ♣ with the ♠10, ruffed another ♦ with the ♠A and then ruffed another club with the ♠Q. On the last 3 tricks Abbott had to under ruff each time. Then he claimed the last 3 tricks with high trumps. A very pyrrhic victory indeed.

“Well I managed to pull our ashes out of the fire,” said Hardy condescendingly, “with very little help from my partner.” “Well”, retorted Abbott, “you would have still been in the fire had my partner led a trump. But I must say I really don’t understand this game. I have 6 trumps and my partner has 3 and they make a game in our suit! Laurel just sat there with the kind of silly smile on his face that would normally drive Hardy crazy, but in this case he was willing to make an exception!

COSTELLO

♠ 432

♥ J10

♦ J

♣ Q

HARDY

♠ Q10

♥ 54

♦ 432

♣

ABBOT

♠ J98765

♥

♦ K

♣