Dear Elementary School Parents,

When Your Child Says, “I’m Bored”

“I’m bored. There’s nothing to do.”

For parents, these words can feel like a cue to jump into action. We might suggest an activity or a playdate, or start listing all the toys and books our children seem to have forgotten they own. Or, if you live in my house, you might respond, “Have you done all your homework?” When none of our suggestions appeal (especially the homework), it can be tempting to default to letting our children watch TV or play on a tablet. 

But what if we didn’t try to solve boredom right away? We want our children to have rich, meaningful lives. This means they need to have opportunities to decide what to do when no one has planned the next activity.  Not every free moment needs to be filled with planned activities. An open afternoon can be an invitation to revisit something enjoyed earlier, invent a game, make something, or simply slow down. The fact is, when our children don’t know how to start, they might say they’re bored, but oftentimes, boredom leads to a burst of creativity.

Instead of immediately offering entertainment the next time boredom is mentioned, perhaps try responding warmly, “It sounds like you have an opportunity to be creative. I wonder what you’ll come up with!” Some children might appreciate a starting point like paper and pencils, building materials, or a reminder of something they enjoyed before.  In our home, the recent boredom whine was quickly fixed when we gave our daughter a few suggestions of how she could entertain herself. That’s when things got fun!  Although it wasn't one of our suggestions, we now have a 3-story cardboard cat tower with an upper balcony that required an extra trip to the stationery store for more paint!

Of course, sometimes “I’m bored” is a hidden request to connect. If you’re not sure, you can pause and ask, “Are you looking for something to do, or were you hoping for some time with me?” We won’t always be available to play, but we can acknowledge the request and be clear about when we will be. This leaves room for both connection and independence, and it also leaves parents room to rest. It’s okay to read our own book, finish a task, or enjoy a quiet moment without feeling responsible for keeping everyone entertained 24/7.