EPISODE 116

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TRISTAN :
Dinadan
is in trouble?
Oh, it’s me!
It’s Tristan!

BRUNOR :
I should’ve expected as much.

TRISTAN :
What’s going on, what are you doing here?

BRUNOR :
No damn clue, if I’m being honest.
Three letters ago, I received a letter.
Dinadan’s gone and dug his own grave again, and he’s asking me to be his champion.

TRISTAN :
Huh?

DINADAN :
Sup, Rustic the First!
You must be pretty mad, since I haven’t been home in months. I’ve got a great excuse this time, though!
( Here, have this cool feather I found. )
You see, I’m being detained at Suscinio Castle in Benwick,  accused of a crime most foul!
The local lord granted me an opportunity to defend myself, but if it doesn’t work out, I’ll be allowed a legal duel.
But there’s this one issue…I can’t fight! Oopsiedoodles.
So I thought of you!
Will you pretty please come and defend your beloved little brother?
Signed,
The aforementioned beloved little brother,
Dinadear <3 

TRISTAN :
Rustic the First???

PERCIVAL :
Dina…dear…
Wait, a legal duel?
Aren’t they extremely dangerous? 

TRISTAN :
( Ugh... )
We have to go.
The absolute bastard…
He didn’t even think to ask me?!
When I’m right next door!
Oh, he’s going to hear from me alright. To Suscinio!

BRUNOR :
[ sighs. ]
If you know the way, at last I won’t have to ask the locals.

PERCIVAL :
Suscinio Castle belongs to the Duke of Vannes, south of the city.
I learned that in my lessons.

TRISTAN :
Let’s go!

PERCIVAL :
Wait, right now?!
Sir, we haven’t told anyone!

TRISTAN :
Don’t worry about it!
All will be well, you’ll see!
Let’s go!

BRUNOR :
…He’s pretty bored these days, isn’t he?

PERCIVAL :
You have no idea.

[ cut to the bedi&orkneys road trip. ] 

URIENS :
That was back when Gawain was still a bairn.
Your father and I would take part in tourneys…
…much more violent than the ones you’ve got these days, mind.

[ bedivere sighs and rubs at his stump. ] 

URIENS :
People would scream our names in the stands!
“Loth and Uriens, the Orkney brothers!”
When we wrap up our business here, I’ll take you to our tourney out on the islands.

MORDRED :
Tomorrow’s meeting with the Germanics, you mean?

URIENS :
Yes…
For the last few years, they’ve been slowly eating up our land in Orkney.
We drew some hard lines and forced them to stay behind them, but who knows how long that’ll last.
We’ve got to come to an agreement, is all.
They’ve got good trade prospects. Fine woodworkers, too. We could even discuss an alliance. Right, Bedivere?

BEDIVERE :
Not anytime soon. Arthur’s got bigger fish to fry right now.
With Mark of Cornwall, among other things.
And Morgan going missing as well, of course.

URIENS :
You sure know a lot. I still find it surprising.
Aren’t you Arthur’s cupbearer? 

BEDIVERE :
…
Always trying to find opportunities to disrespect me, Uriens.

URIENS :
That implies I have any respect for you at all, cripple.

BEDIVERE :
…
Really? That’s the best you’ve got?
…Interesting.
You should ask Kay about it, he’s always had a way with words.

URIENS :
I don’t give a shit about your sex life.

BEDIVERE :
Nor does your wife give a shit about yours. 

[ people are Whispering!! uriens bursts out laughing. ] 

URIENS :
You always were a witty one. If you’d been born a noble, none could’ve stood before you.
Alas, one can’t change their birthright.
I was born to lead,
and you were born to serve. If it were up to me, you’d go back to shearing sheep in your low-life country. 

BEDIVERE :
Yes, Uriens…
…You’ve made yourself quite clear.
But we can’t keep having this conversation over and over again for the twentieth year in a row.
You and your brother made your differences with Arthur well-known during the rebellions,
which you lost, so you ought to move on one of these days⎯

URIENS :
Don’t talk to me about the rebellions.
You lot keep on desecrating Loth’s memory with your lies and slander.
Enough.
Or I’ll chop your other hand off. 

BEDIVERE :
…
As you will. 

URIENS :
…
I’m going to bed.
We’ll see what the Germanic have to say tomorrow.

[ back to the squad!! ]

LADY :
Brunor of Estrangore?

BRUNOR :
Himself. I’ve come to see the Duke of Vannes.
It’s about Dinadan of Estrangore.
I’m his champion.

LADY :
Very well.
Dinadan of Estrangore, knight of the Round Table…
He stands accused of murdering his Grace’s nephew.

PERCIVAL :
( Murder?! )

LADY :
With this said, His Grace the Duke is a very busy man.
I fear he will not have time to grant an audience to one of your…
…status. 

PERCIVAL :
…

TRISTAN :
( < dialogue is in French > )
< Of his status?
You stand before the king of Estrangore, son of the Good Knight Without Fear.
Please, do mind your manners. Such a breach of etiquette would be rather disgraceful. >

LADY :
…
[ she bows. ]
My apologies, sir.
I can send word to the duke, to⎯

BRUNOR :
No matter, if he won’t see me either way.
Just let him know I’m here.
But I want to see the prisoner. 

LADY :
Of course. Please follow me. 

PERCIVAL :
Sir Tristan…
What’s wrong with Sir Brunor’s status?

TRISTAN :
I think his father’s reputation precedes him.
It’s not easy being an ennobled commoner, in a world where nobility runs in the blood. 

PERCIVAL :
…

LADY :
Sir Dinadan?
You’ve got visitors. 

DINADAN :
Well, well...
Almost kept me waiting, didn’t ya? 

ROUND TABLE TRIVIA 

For tasks that don’t need permanent records, people often use beeswax tablets.

They can be reused. One can write by carving characters onto the wax using a stylus ; then all you have to do is heat the wax to smooth it over again. 

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