Gorglug, Son of Gulgrog

My Dad's Gulgrog, and he's like the strongest fighter ever! This one time, he killed a dinosaur with his bare hands! The dinosaur was like 100 feet tall, and it had these HUGE claws, and my Dad was like "I'm gonna kill you!" and the dinosaur was all "RAAAGHHHH!" so my Dad, he picks up this big tree branch, and he smacks it in the face! It was so cool. I'm gonna be a big warrior, just like my Dad. I'm gonna go find the biggest monster I can, and beat him up, and it'll be the biggest monster anyone's ever seen! When he sees it I'll totally be part of his clan. The clan's got all these orcs, and minotaurs, and other cool guys. Dad says he forgets what kinda race I am, and that I'm a bottle of mead crossed with some kinda bet, but that that's okay and that I can be in his warband if I prove myself. Oh right! We came through this portal, well my Dad came through this portal, and I was right behind him because I'm not afraid of anything! Hey is this place a bar? I don't go to many bars unless I'm with my Dad, but he says I should go to more so I can do something called drilling a whale, I don't know what a whale is but I'm totally ready! Hey you wanna see my swords? I made them from some Raptor bones and Gnome tendons, it took me a whole month 'cause I keep track of how many monsters I kill with these notches, I got a ton of 'em. I'll probly run out of space soon, so Dad says I should start putting notches on my bow when I run out. Do you have a cool sword? Oh sorry, Shmorgash' says I gotta go, see you later!