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Dear Jane,
It’s been six weeks now and I feel the same. Nothing has changed. I wish you were here with me, but I know that’s not to be. I hope you’re happy in your new life. Memories of our old life together are killing me.
Ever since you told me you were leaving, I’ve been reliving our past as I try to figure out what terrible thing I did to make you want to forsake the life we had together. Am I such a monster that we had no chance of working our problems out? I know I’m far from perfect, but I do believe, I could make you happy again if given the chance. All it would take to make me happy is to have you come back to me.
As I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about things, I can now see signs that our lives were heading to this outcome. I was blind at the time to what was really happening, but now it’s as plain as day. It’s quite clear that you stopped loving me several years ago. In fact, it’s quite possible, that you’ve never loved me the way it was meant to be. I am certain that when we married, you were in love with love itself. I was just a piece of clay you planned to mold into some fantasy husband you felt destined to love. But, as time went on, you finally realized that I could only be what I already was. Your disappointment led to frustration which led to you lashing out in anger and abuse at the one person who loved you with all his heart.
Has Carl proved to be the answer to your fantasies? Is he the man of your dreams? I know he had me fooled. I thought he was trying to be my friend when all along his only interest in me was using me as a means to reach you. He was smart. It worked. When he tells you he loves you, I hope he isn’t fooling you, too.
I hear through some mutual friends that Brenda has apparently moved on with her life. They say she and Carl were headed toward a split before he took up with you. I haven’t seen her since the first few days after you left. She called once but I didn’t return the call. It would be too painful as I know our conversation would only deteriorate into a bashing of you two. Don’t get me wrong, as you deserve every bad thing that can be said, but I don’t have the energy.
Our sons call to check on me, but not as much here lately. I know you’ve told them every vile and evil thing I’ve ever done, whether real or imaginary, and it’s slowly but surely eroding any respect they have for me. It’s easy to see that your venom has even affected the grand kids. Now, I’m not a saint, but I have refrained from telling them your flaws as I don’t see the good in having them believe their mother is less than they’ve always thought she was. I wish you would do the same and spare them our misery as our problems are our problems and not theirs.
So, that’s what I’ve been doing while you’ve been gone. It was hard but I was surviving, that is, until I received the letter from your lawyer yesterday. According to him, you’re demanding almost everything we own. He made it clear that we’re headed for a bitter fight in court. This is so unnecessary. His accusations of my infidelity and physical abuse are laughable at best. You know none of it is true. How can you condone such lies and be willing to smear me in public like that? Are you that desperate to play havoc on me? Is this a game to you? It’s not to me, not at all. If we go down this path, then when this is over, the only ones who will be happy will be the lawyers. They’ll smile all the way to the bank.
I’ve done nothing but think since yesterday. Your leaving was bad enough, but now you want to take everything we built together. You want to leave me nothing and you’re willing to destroy me in order to get what you want. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t let you get away with this.
I had thoughts of finding you and your lover and ending it all for all of us. But, as much as you two deserve it, I don’t have the energy. Besides, even though you’ve turned our children against me, they’ve done nothing that would dictate that they lose their mother. But, it’s quite apparent now, everyone can do without me. You’ve shown you can and I don’t think our sons would find it hard to get along without me.
So, I’m going to end it all. I’m writing you by mail so it will all be over by the time you receive this letter. This way no one will know in advance and try to change my mind before the deed is done.
My plan is to stick this letter in the mail right before the mailman comes by. Then, I’ll return to the house and spread gasoline all over the living room. From the bedroom I’ll toss a match and then put my pistol in my mouth and pull the trigger. It’s simple and it’s quick.
How do you like that plan? I’ll no longer be burdened with your leaving, your lies, and your attempts at destroying me no matter the cost.
So, you can have the house and everything in it. Go ahead, be my guest. It’ll all be ashes but you’re welcome to it.
Sincerely,
Joe
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Joe stepped out onto his front porch with letter in hand. He paused for a moment to relish the moment. Letting his senses soak in his surroundings, he took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled. This was it. It would be the last time he ever saw his front yard and his neighborhood. He’d never dreamed it would come to this, but he felt like a cornered animal with no strength left to fight and only one way out. The events of the last few weeks had left him totally drained and all he knew was he had to have some sort of relief. He liked living but this was not life. It was only a hollow existence at best.
He lumbered down his steps and walked to the mailbox beside the street. Before mailing his letter he took one last look up and down the street. A jogger was headed his way but he barely noticed. Fighting his emotions, he slipped his letter into the box, closed the lid, and raised the red flag on the side. The gasoline can was waiting in the garage. The matches were in his pocket. Now, he could carry out his plan and set the house on fire just before his gun would end his pain.
Closing his eyes and fighting for strength to carry on, he turned to walk back to his house. When he opened his eyes, the jogger had almost reached him. It was a woman. He didn’t recognize her but it startled him a second. She smiled at him and he was about to return the smile when he saw the young man on the skateboard. He was approaching them at a high rate of speed with his head down and not watching where he was going. Joe started to yell but, instead, quickly grabbed the woman and tried to pull her out of the way. She fell into his arms with an astonished look on her face as the skateboard slammed across her left foot. Crying in pain she slipped from his arms and fell to the ground.
The young man flipped up his board and yelled “Sorry, lady” before hurrying on down the sidewalk.
“Hey, come back here!!” Joe shouted after him. He just waved back at them and kept going. Joe turned his attention back to the woman who was clutching her foot and grimacing in pain.
“Let me take a look at that,” he said as he bent down and gently took her foot. After examining it he declared, “You’ve got a nasty sprain there.”
“It’s starting to ease off some,” she said. “I don’t think it’s too bad.”
“If we get some ice on it, it’ll help keep the swelling down,” he offered. “I’ll help you up to my porch and then I’ll make an ice pack for you.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” she protested. “Just help me to my feet and I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah,” she replied as he reached down and took her arm. She grunted as she rose to her feet and took a wobbly step.
“Ouch!” she muttered. “It’s worse than I thought.”
“Come on, hang on to me and I’ll get you to the porch,” he offered again.
“Okay.”
He held her tight as she hopped on one foot, and they slowly made their way to a chair on the porch. As he guided her to the chair, he couldn’t help but take his first good look at the woman who literally fell into his life. She had a pleasant, rounded face with short dark hair. As he had helped her walk, he could tell she was used to working out as she was trim and in good shape.
“I’ll get the ice,” he said as he headed into the house.
“Thank you,” she sweetly replied with a weak smile.
It wasn’t long before he came back out with ice wrapped in a towel. He gently placed it around her foot and held it in place for a few minutes.
“I hate you have to go to all this trouble,” she declared. “I’m sure you have a lot of other things you were planning to do.”
“Oh, nothing that important,” he offered without looking up. “Besides, I guess that’s what neighbors are for, to help each other.”
She laughed and then confessed, “At first, I didn’t know what to think when you grabbed me. I was about ready to punch you when that boy hit me.”
Joe smiled and revealed, “Well, I really didn’t have time to explain what I was trying to do.”
“I found that out pretty quick,” she laughed again. Joe liked her laugh. Then she added, “All in all, I didn’t mind you grabbing for me. In fact, now I’m grateful.”
He looked up at her and enjoyed her smile. It was pleasant and it looked as if her whole face was smiling. This impressed him as to the genuineness of what she was saying. Finally, he offered, “My name’s Joe.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Joe,” she said. “I’m Emma.”
He stood and surmised, “I believe that’ll stay on its own for a while.”
“Thank you, again,” she offered.
“You’re welcome,” he said as he took a seat beside her. “I don’t remember seeing you around here before.”
“Oh, I live three blocks over,” she explained. “I normally jog toward town, but today, for some reason, I decided to come over this way.”
“And we welcome you to our block by trying to run you over,” Joe laughed.
“Well, at least I got to meet a gentleman,” she said with a smile. He almost blushed. “Here lately I haven’t met too many of them, especially my ex.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I always knew he was a scoundrel, but he really showed himself after he left,” she continued. “He was bullying me about our divorce until I got the right lawyer working for me.”
“It helped?”
“Oh yeah,” she replied. “It put him on the defensive for a change and things worked out all right for me. I’m rid of the scumbag, and I got enough in the settlement to keep on living without ever having to see him again.”
“Good for you.”
“Oh, look at me,” she laughed again. “Here, I meet a nice person, and I start rambling on about things I shouldn’t.”
Joe shared the laugh and then revealed, “It’s perfectly okay with me. I’m just starting my divorce.”
“You got it tough, now, huh?” she asked.
“Yeah, Jane ran off with a friend of mine, well I guess ex-friend,” he explained. “That was six weeks ago and yesterday I get a letter from her lawyer.”
“Don’t tell me, she wants everything you’ve built up together,” she guessed.
“That’s right.”
“Been there,” she sighed. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” he answered. “I’ve been so upset that I don’t think I can think clearly enough to figure it out.”
“Yep, you look a lot like I did two years ago,” she declared. “You need someone to do the thinking for you. Look, it’s probably none of my business, but I’ll be glad to give you the number of the lawyer I used. He’s good. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for his help.”
He studied her face for a moment and then agreed, “Okay. I’ll give it a shot.” She met his gaze and said, “Good.”
Without taking his eyes off of her he declared, “Well, I don’t think you can walk home. I’ll pull my car out of the garage and then help you in. Then I can drive you home.”
“Oh, I hate for you to go to all that trouble,” she mildly protested.
“No trouble,” he offered. “You’ll need to elevate that foot and, hopefully, by morning you’ll be able to put some weight on it.”
“Well, okay then,” she agreed. “But, I owe you.”
“That’s okay.”
“No, seriously, I do,” she offered. “You take me home and I’ll fix us dinner. Do you like pasta?”
“Sure, but I don’t think you need to be on that foot,” he replied.
“Yeah, but I’m famished,” she revealed. “Aren’t you hungry?”
“Yep, I could stand to eat something,” he answered. “So, why don’t I drive us to a restaurant? That way we can sit at a booth and you can elevate your foot onto the seat.”
“That sounds great,” she said. “But, on one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“I pay for our dinner,” she replied. “I insist.”
“Okay,” he said with a smile.
He stood to go to the garage when he remembered his letter in the mailbox. After thinking for a minute he offered, “If you don’t mind, I need to get something out of the mailbox first.”
She laughed and said, “Go ahead. I don’t think I’m going anywhere.”
He walked to the edge of the street, opened the mailbox, and removed the letter. Bouncing it up and down on his palm, he thought about its contents and what he had planned to do before fate interrupted him and brought him face-to-face with someone who not only understood what he was going through but was willing to help. That alone was enough to cause him pause, but he seemed to make a connection with her, and he was interested in seeing where it would lead.
He closed the box and stepped back onto the sidewalk when a car pulled up behind him. It was the mailman. “I can take that for you if you want to mail it,” the man in the car said.
Joe glanced at the letter and then at Emma sitting on his front porch. He smiled and then turned toward the mailman. “No, thank you. I’ve changed my mind.”
Laughing, he tore the letter in two as he headed toward the garage. Tonight, he would write another letter.
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Dear Jane,
Since you’ve been gone things have been wonderful!
See you in court.
Sincerely,
Joe
THE END
Copyright ©2014 by Jerry W. Crews
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