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Back to Act 1 Scene 1 - Two Peas In A Pod
Back to Bulge (or Pressed to Make a Point)
It had been eight days since Heidi had gone on vacation as she said she was going to do. No one but Willie was counting the days, and he kept the count to himself. He wasn’t exactly sure, but from what he had overheard, it was about time for her to return to work. So, once again, he made the trek to the lunchroom and quickly surveyed the surroundings to see if she was there. She wasn’t.
Curtis Hirsch was a business friend of Willie’s. They didn’t see each other except at the center, but both liked each other and spent their free time at work together. Curtis was tall with a muscular build, black hair, gray eyes, and a smile that was contagious and had made more than one woman swoon when directed her way.
He was a supervisor, a Team Manager, and had worked at the center for almost eight years. Curtis was one of those people who tried to climb the corporate ladder, but had reached about as far as he would be allowed to reach. Every time he had applied for an Operations Manager position he was told he was well qualified, but there was just one more thing he needed to work on and the job would be his. Each time it was something different as upper management continually held the proverbial carrot just out of his reach. Eventually, he saw the writing on the wall and realized his efforts were futile. So, he concentrated his energies on the opposite sex. This is where he became legendary. Some guys tried to imitate his style, but no one could match his exploits. He was suave and discreet, and with the high percentage of turnover at the center, he had an almost unending supply of new female employees to cast his charm over. Without them knowing it, each new worker was thoroughly investigated and rated as to their “Curtis Worthiness” while they were still in training. Once they were on the production floor he considered them fair game if they met his criteria.
“How you doing?” Curtis bellowed as he approached the table Willie was sitting at.
“Good. You?” Willie replied as Curtis pulled a chair out and hopped onto it.
“Doing good, doing good!” he answered with a broad grin. “There’s a new training class starting today.”
Willie shook his head and offered, “I don’t know how you get by with it.”
“It’s all in the technique,” Curtis responded. “I’d show you some tricks of the trade but you’re too hung up on one person.”
Willie blushed, “Well, you know.”
“By the way, where is she?” Curtis asked. “I haven’t seen her around for the last few days.”
“Oh, she’s on vacation,” Willie replied. “I hear she’s due back today.”
Curtis took a long hard look at his friend. “Man, you’re pathetic. You like this girl, and yet, you don’t do anything about it.”
“Well, I just…”
“Look,” Curtis whispered as he looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear. “I’ve been told that she likes you, and I mean a lot!”
“Are your serious??”
“That’s the word, man,” Curtis continued. “The woman’s hot for you.”
Willie’s mind was spinning trying to make sense of what he had just been told. This was beyond his wildest imagination and he was about to speak when he saw the big grin on Curtis’ face.
“Is that really true?” he asked as his heart sank to the floor.
“Naw, I made it up,” Curtis confessed. “But, hey, it made you feel good for a second or two, didn’t it?”
“Yeah, and now I feel awful,” Willie muttered.
“Hey, just trying to make you think,” Curtis continued. “If you’d quit sulking around so much and ask her out, you’d probably have that good feeling all the time.”
“Yeah, I know,” Willie agreed. “But she wouldn’t want to be with me. If I asked and she laughed at me, I don’t think I could handle the rejection.”
“Well, you need to get out of that,” Curtis asserted. “Have you ever taken a good look around at all the bountiful provisions that have blessed this center?”
“Yeah, well…”
“I mean the last training class had five—I mean five—ladies who were absolutely outstanding,” Curtis declared. “If you just quit concentrating on the one, my friend, you’re gonna see a whole lot of others who will tingle your innards.”
“Yeah, but I’m not you,” Willie protested.
“Of course not, no one is,” Curtis laughed. “But, they’re out there. You just gotta keep on looking.”
“I don’t know,” Willie muttered. “I really don’t know what to do anymore.”
—Looking
Curtis
♫ Keep on looking,
Yeah—looking.
Looking for a girl and you get her in sight.
Looking for a feeling that will last all night,
Looking for the one who looks just right,
Looking and you’ll feel it when it feels all right,
Just keep looking,
Yeah—looking. ♫
Curtis Willie
♫ Ooooo—ooo Looking.
Real slow now, Looking.
Down low now, Looking. ♫
Curtis
♫ Let me tell ya,
Look over there, look over here,
Look all around and soon it’ll be clear,
Cause you’re looking.
Yeah—looking.
Looking for a woman who’s looking real fine.
Looking for a moment that will be all mine,
Looking and watching all of the time,
Looking for the feeling that will make me shine,
Just keep looking,
Yeah—looking.
Yeah—looking. ♫
Willie Curtis
♫ Ooooo—ooo Oh, yeah.
Bring it low, Looking.
Real slow now, Oh, yeah. ♫
Willie
♫ I’m telling ya,
She’s not out there, she’s not in here,
I’ll keep looking if it takes all year,
Cause I’m looking.♫
Willie & Curtis
♫ Yeah—looking.
Looking for a woman who’s looking real fine.
Looking for a moment that will be all mine,
Looking and watching all of the time,
Looking for the feeling that will make me shine,
Just keep looking,
Yeah—looking.
Yeah—looking.
Looking for a girl and you get her in sight.
Looking for a feeling that will last all night,
Looking for the one who looks just right,
Looking and you’ll feel it when it feels all right,
Just keep looking,
Yeah—looking.
Yeah—looking.
Looking!! ♫
A commotion grabbed their attention as Heidi, Nina, and Evelyn came into the room and took to a table. They were excited about something, so Curtis and Willie return to their seats in hopes of listening in on some of the rowdy conversation.
“Girl, you have gone bad!” Nina laughed as Heidi giggled.
“Are you sure about this?” Evelyn asked with her usual party-pooper attitude.
“Yes, I am,” Heidi enthusiastically replied. “So, how do I look?”
“Oh, girl, you’re out there!” Nina almost shouted.
“I don’t know what to say,” Evelyn chimed in.
“Why didn’t you call me?” Nina asked.
“Oh, I wanted to do this on my own,” Heidi answered. “I had to fine my inner courage.”
“Well, you found something,” Evelyn inserted. “I don’t know exactly what, but it’s something.”
“Now, don’t rain on her parade,” Nina chastised. “Friends support friends and that’s what we need to do. Speaking of support, what size are you now?”
“B, but that’s more than the A I had before,” Heidi explained.
“Well, stand up, girl,” Nina declared. “Let’s have a good look at you.”
Heidi obliged, stood, and slowly twirled around as Nina admired her new look and Evelyn reserved her opinion. This strutting did not go unnoticed by Curtis and Willie sitting across the room. They were busy admiring the new Heidi.
“Are you seeing that?” Curtis whispered.
“Yeah,” was all Willie could say.
“Your little Heidi Warren is not so little anymore,” Curtis laughed.
“Yeah.”
“You have got it going!” Nina declared as Heidi took her seat again. “Did you get many looks?”
“Yeah, it was strange,” Heidi confessed. “A couple guys did a double take when I walked by.”
“I would think so,” Evelyn added.
“There were quite a few that spoke to me,” Heidi continued. “It was almost embarrassing.”
“I would’ve been,” Evelyn smirked.
“I told you, didn’t I tell you?” Nina chirped. “You have to advertise the goods if you want to attract the buyers.”
“No, you don’t,” Evelyn objected. “A real man will respect you for being yourself. A lady doesn’t have to go to extremes just to get a man interested in her.”
“That’s an interesting point, dear Evelyn,” Nina sneered. “So, how’s that philosophy working out in your life?”
“It will,” Evelyn declared. “I just have to give it time.”
“Okay and in the meantime, Heidi and I will be enjoying all the male attention we could ever want,” Nina bragged. “Right, Heidi?”
“Well, I guess,” Heidi said as she stole a glance toward Willie.
Curtis stood and declared, “Come on, let’s go see about this.”
“No, I don’t think we should,” Willie protested.
“O come on,” Curtis laughed as he pulled on Willie’s shirt.
The two me approached the ladies’ table with Curtis all smiles and Willie dragging behind as if he’d rather be anywhere else.
“Well, hello-o girls,” Curtis crooned.
“Hello, Curtis,” Nina beamed back at him. She and he had a history together. The truth was they had dated each other when the pickings in the center were slim. There would never have a future together other than the occasional fling as they couldn’t trust each other to remain monogamous. Besides, neither one of them had any interest in being tied down with one person for very long anyway.
“Hi,” Heidi said, and then just as quickly, “Hi, Willie.”
“Hi.”
“What have you done to yourself, young lady?” Curtis asked with the biggest grin on his face.
“You know very well what she’s done,” Evelyn interjected.
Curtis took a seat beside her and with as much charm as he could muster asked, “So, how are you doing these days, Evelyn?”
Having him so close rattled Evelyn and she almost blushed. Through all her prudish ways, she still enjoyed the attention of the opposite sex, especially if it was someone as handsome and charming as Curtis.
“Well, I’m doing fine,” she stammered. “Thank you for asking.”
“So, what do you think of our little friend, here?” he continued. “I’ll tell you what I think: I think she’s not so little anymore.”
“Well, I just wouldn’t be able to comment on that,” Evelyn offered as she was still reeling from having him sitting so close to her.
He leaned in closer and declared, “I think she’s looking good. Don’t you?”
Evelyn caught her breath and spluttered, “Well…, if you think so.”
“Oh, I think so,” Curtis stated. “Don’t you agree, Willie?”
“Uh, well, yeah,” was all he could say.
Heidi jumped out of her seat and walked over to Willie. “You do? You really like what I’ve done?”
“Well, yeah,” he offered as he nervously adjusted his glasses. “I mean who wouldn’t…you know…like it?”
“Of course, he does,” Curtis bellowed. “That’s because you’re looking good, girl. You’re looking real good!”
“I told you it would work,” Nina said as she pretended to whisper.
—You Got It Working
Curtis
♫ You got it working, girl,
You got it looking good,
You got it working, girl,
Like you hoped you would.
You can’t tell me this is not the way to go,
I can tell you this is gonna be a show,
Hang it loose, hang it tight,
Hang it out,
Let me hear you shout! ♫
Cutis & Nina
♫ You got it working, girl,
You got it looking good,
You got it working, girl,
Like you hoped you would. ♫
Curtis
Now, let me see a shoulder, a shimmy shake!
Nina (giving a shoulder shimmy shake)
♫ You can’t tell me this is not the way to go,
I can tell you this is gonna be a show. ♫
Come on, Heidi! Show us that Perky Power!
♫ Hang it loose, hang it tight,
Hang it out,
Let me hear you shout! ♫
Heidi
♫ I’ve got it working, now,
I’ve got it looking good,
I’ve got it working, now,
Like I knew I would. ♫
Heidi & Nina (doing a shoulder shimmy shake)
♫ I will tell you this is how I’ve gotta go,
I don’t care if this is gonna be a show. ♫
Heidi, Nina, & Curtis
♫ You got it working, girl,
You got it looking good,
You got it working, girl,
Like you hoped you would.
You got it working, girl,
You got it working, girl,
Working girl! ♫
Nina grabbed Heidi while Curtis pushed Willie right into her. They stood there looking at each other face-to-face and chest-to-chest. No one moved a muscle as they watched the two shy lovers standing toe-to-toe. Everyone waited to see what would happen now as these two were touching and their faces were only inches apart.
Willie swallowed hard. Heidi gazed up into his eyes with stunned silence. Willie’s mind raced as he tried to figure out what he should do. Finally, not able to think of anything else, he blurted out, “Nice boobs.”
Heidi dreamily reacted, “Thank you.”
After another awkward silence, Willie offered, “I’ve got to go back to work.”
“Me, too,” Heidi breathed.
“I think we all do,” Curtis declared as he gathered his things from the table.
“Yep, see you guys,” Nina agreed as she headed back to the phones.
Willie and Heidi slowly parted as neither took their eyes off of the other one. It was a close encounter they would remember for a long time.
Evelyn looked around the now abandoned lunch room. She shook her head in righteous indignation and utter disgust at what had transpired. In her opinion such shenanigans and tomfoolery were way out of place in the work environment.
Crossing her arms with antagonism she sneered, “That was awful! I don’t think I should have to tolerate such behavior from a bunch of sex-crazed degenerates.”
❤️
Go to Act I Scene 3 - Inhumane Resource
Go to Act II Scene 1 - Protuberance
Go to Act II Scene 2 - Human Remorse
Go to Act II Scene 3 - Abstraction
Back to Bulge (or Pressed to Make a Point)
Back to Act I Scene 1 - Two Peas In A Pod
Copyright ©2014 by Jerry W. Crews
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