Back to Even More Simple Stories
Hollister, New Mexico
“Mr. Belial, the town board has your request before it,” explained the Mayor. “Would you mind telling us the reason for such a request?”
“Well, Mr. Mayor, I live at the end of my street,” replied Mr. Belial. “My house is the only house on that street.”
“And the problem is…?” inquired the Mayor.
“The problem is, Mr. Mayor, that people are always coming to the end of the road,” explained Mr. Belial. “They don’t realize that the road ends.”
“And this has caused you grief in what way?” asked the Mayor as he rolled his eyes in boredom.
“Well, you see, the problem is, that they then have to turn around in my driveway,” offered Mr. Belial. “All day long I have people in my driveway, trying to turn around.”
“It seems to me, it would be the neighborly thing to do to let people use your driveway,” offered one of the board members.
“I’m just as neighborly as the next man,” bristled Mr. Belial. “But I am an inventor of sorts. I have some very sensitive experiments that are easily disturbed by such activity.”
“Let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” mused the Mayor. “People turning around in your driveway are ruining your so-called experiments. Is that correct?”
“Yes, Mr. Mayor, it is,” replied Mr. Belial. “And besides, many of them come up to my door and ask for directions. I just don’t have the time to always stop what I’m doing to help.”
“So, you believe, that the proper signage would prevent you from being disturbed so much?” inquired another board member.
“Yes, I do,” replied Mr. Belial.
“And so, we board members are to take it upon ourselves to spend this town’s money on a sign to prevent people from interrupting you in your important work?” smirked the Mayor.
“Mr. Mayor, I am willing to pay for the sign and to pay for the installation,” declared Mr. Belial.
“Oh, why didn’t you say so in the first place?” laughed the Mayor. “I believe under such circumstances, this board can accommodate your request.”
“That would be extremely helpful, sir,” offered Mr. Belial. “I would like to thank you and all members of the board for working with me on this.”
“It’s our pleasure to serve the interest of our small town here,” reflected the Mayor. “Oh, by the way, what exactly is it that you want the sign to say?”
Mr. Belial took a quick survey of the town’s board members and then smiled with white glistening teeth. He paused for a moment and then said, “Mr. Mayor, the sign needs to say: ‘No Outlet.’"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The woman gazed out her car window as her husband continued driving the unfamiliar road. They had been married for over a year this was their first time visiting her parents at their new cottage in New Mexico’s foothills.
“Well, all I can say is, I hope your family treats me better this time,” remarked the husband.
“It’s not that they don’t like you,” explained the wife. “It’s just you took their little girl away.”
“If I remember correctly,” smiled the husband. “She came with me on her own.”
“Yes she did,” laughed the woman. “But you could never convince my mother and father of that.”
“Well, I thought last time they were a little mean,” offered the husband. “My folks never treated you like that.”
“Your parents are dead,” replied the wife as she gently punched her husband in the arm. “Don’t try any of your sick jokes on me.”
“Will your uncle Ray be there for the family reunion?” he asked as he slowed the car to read the street signs.
“Mother said he would,” replied the wife. “Please try to get along with him.”
“I’m not the problem,” protested the husband. “He’s the one always asking, ‘Well, Fred, you still go to that weird church?’ What am I supposed to do, ignore him while he defames all that I believe?”
“I know he can be obnoxious,” offered the wife. “He even gets onto me. I can hear him now, ‘Well, Amanda, you really married a winner!’ I get so mad at him sometimes.”
“He’s just one of those that the Bible warned us about,” reflected Fred. “It says in the last days there would be ‘scoffers’ and ‘ridiculers.’ Ray doesn’t realize it, but he’s fulfilling the Scriptures’ warnings about our time.”
“Like so many people today, he just doesn’t see the signs of the times,” offered Amanda. “But that’s the way this world is. Not everyone believed the Lord when He walked among mankind.”
“And yet, the Scriptures are so clear,” declared Fred. “The end of the world will find many ‘deceivers.’ So much today is designed to undermine good family moral values.”
“You’re so right, dear,” agreed Amanda. “And look at the rest of the world. ‘Ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars.’ The Bible’s being fulfilled everyday.”
“Jesus said, ‘All these are the beginning of sorrows,’” reflected Fred as he kept looking at the street signs.
“It’s amazing that people like Uncle Ray can’t see something that is so clear,” offered Amanda as she pulled a map from the glove box.
“Well, it’s a ‘sign’ to believers,” continued Fred. “The rest are like Paul said, ‘The god of this world hath blinded the minds of them, which believe not.’ They can’t see the sign of the last days because the Devil keeps them blinded to the light of the Lord Jesus.”
“And yet the sign is as plain as the nose on their faces,” reflected Amanda.
“Speaking of ‘signs,’” offered Fred. “Do you remember which street we’re to turn on?”
“I’ve got the map here that mother sent,” replied Amanda as she unfolded the paper. “This looks like the area they moved to. Uh, I believe you turn at the next right.”
“OK, here it is,” declared Fred as he made the right turn onto the street. “You sure this is right?”
“I’m not sure,” mused Amanda as she studied the map. “This says to go the end and turn left onto Shiresheer Street.”
“Then that’s what we’ll do,” offered Fred.
“Yeah, but when you made the turn back there I saw a sign that said, ‘No Outlet,’” revealed Amanda. “This street’s not going to lead to another one. It’s got to be the wrong road.”
“Well, then, we’ll just go down here and turn around,” reflected Fred. “I’m not in that big of a hurry to get to your folks anyway.”
“Now, be nice,” laughed Amanda as she returned her attention to studying the map.
Fred continuing driving until they came to a house at the end of the street. He turned into the driveway and then backed out into the street. Before long they were on their way back toward the entrance of the road.
“This street sure looks vacant,” offered Fred as he glanced out the driver’s window. “I think that house is the only one around here.”
“You know, we’re going a lot farther than I remember,” reflected Amanda as she studied the map once again.
“It does seem like we’ve come a long way,” pondered Fred. “And I still don’t see the end.”
“Maybe we ought to go back to that house we saw,” offered Amanda. “Surely someone there can give us directions.”
“But, dear, I’m a man,” protested Fred. “It goes against my nature to ask for directions.”
“Just turn the car around,” laughed Amanda with mocked annoyance. “We’re not getting anywhere the way we’re going. It’ll soon be dark.”
“Let’s go just a little farther,” offered Fred. “I know we turned onto this road just a little bit ahead of here.”
After a few more minutes the couple realized they were completely lost. Fred made a three-point turn in the middle of the street. It was not long before they came back to the house at the end of the road. They pulled once again into the driveway, and this time Fred went up to the house to ask for directions.
Before he could ring the bell, the door opened and a man on the other side of the screen smiled with white glistening teeth and said, “Hello and welcome to our humble bed and breakfast.”
“Oh, hello,” replied Fred. “Uh, we’re not looking for lodging, it’s just we’re a little lost. Can you direct us back to the main road?”
“It’s getting late,” offered the smiling man. “Why don’t you and your lovely wife join my sister and me for a lovely dinner?”
“Uh, no thank you,” answered Fred. Then after a moment of thought he asked, “How did you know she’s my wife?”
“Two lovebirds like you?” asked the man. “Why, it’s quite obvious. Please join us for dinner and then you’ll feel refreshed enough to continue your journey.”
“Well, we really need to be going,” replied Fred. “My wife Amanda’s parents are expecting us.”
“Is that what you really want to do?” asked the man as he lowered his voice. “Spend the evening with your in-laws?”
“No, not really,” smiled Fred.
“Good, then it’s settled,” laughed the man as he motioned for Amanda to join them. When she approached, the man took her by the hands and declared, “Your husband has graciously accepted my invitation to dinner.”
“But, Fred, my parents are expecting us,” objected Amanda. “They’ll be worried sick if we don’t show up.”
“Well, I, uh…” started Fred before the man interrupted, “My name is Luce, and if I heard you right, you are Fred and Amanda.”
“Yes, that’s our names, but we really can’t stay,” protested Amanda. “We just need to know how to get to the main road.”
“Oh, my sister, Delilah, will be so disappointed,” offered Luce as he gently put his hands on the couple’s shoulders. “You see, this is a small town and business has been less than desirable. She got so excited when she saw you pull into our driveway. It’ll mean so much to her if you let her fix your dinner.”
“Well, I don’t know…” pondered Amanda.
“We can call your parents and let them know,” continued Luce. “That way they’ll not worry about you.”
“I think they can go one more evening without seeing us,” laughed Fred. “Or, should I say, without seeing me.”
“Good, then you’re going to stay,” smiled Luce as he opened the screen door and ushered the couple into the house. “Amanda, there’s a phone in the hallway. Please feel free to call your parents.”
“Thank you,” she replied as she headed toward the phone.
“Now, Fred, if you’ll follow me to the dining room, I’ll introduce you to Delilah,” offered Luce as they walked through the great room.
The aroma coming from the kitchen made Fred’s mouth water as they went through the door into the room. It dawned on him that it had been almost five hours since he and Amanda had stopped for lunch. Delilah was busy over a steaming pot of vegetables and had a dash of flour on the tip of her nose. Fred was immediately struck by her beauty. She was wearing a low-cut white tank top with black athletic shorts. The apron she had on almost completely hid the shorts and made her look as if she was wearing nothing under it. Fred was secretly admiring her smooth tanned legs when he caught a glimpse of the table. He was taken aback by the delicious food that was staring him in the face. Not only was Delilah a beautiful woman, but she evidently was a master chef.
“Delilah, my dear, here is one of our guests,” declared Luce. “This is Fred.”
“Hello, Fred,” she offered in the sweetest voice Fred had ever heard. “I hope you’re hungry. I’ve made all types of sinful food.”
“Yes, I am,” replied Fred as he slightly blushed at her erotic reference.
“Good, because gluttony is not a sin in this house,” laughed Luce.
“If you two will recline to the dining area, I’ll bring the meal into you,” offered Delilah.
“Thank you,” replied Fred as he and Luce found their way to the dinner table. Before long they were joined by Amanda.
“I hope your parents were not too upset at your late arrival,” inquired Luce.
“No, I don’t think so,” replied Amanda. “We could hardly hear each other. The connection was not too good.”
“There must be trouble with the phone line again,” mused Luce. “I’m afraid this small town doesn’t have all the luxuries of the big cities. I’ll be sure to call the phone company in the morning.”
“Did you try your cell phone?” asked Fred.
“Yeah, but there was no service available,” answered Amanda.
“Once again, I’m afraid you are entrapped in a small town,” offered Luce. “When it comes to things like that, this area has always been a dead zone.”
“Oh, well, we’ll be there in another couple of hours,” reflected Fred. “Luce, you do have a very nice home.”
“Why, thank you, Fred,” smiled Luce. “It’s just something we threw together.”
“I hope everybody’s hungry,” declared Delilah as she came from the kitchen carrying a tray of assorted meats and vegetables.
“Here, let me help you,” offered Fred as he rose from the table. “Delilah, this is my wife, Amanda.”
“Hello, Amanda,” offered Delilah. “I hope this looks pleasing to you.”
“It looks delicious, Delilah,” replied Amanda. “You made this all by yourself?”
“Oh, yeah,” she replied. “I’ve always enjoyed cooking.”
“I must brag on my sister,” beamed Luce. “She is one of the best.”
“Will you be joining us?” asked Fred.
“Sure, let me get the tea, first,” replied Delilah as she headed back to the kitchen. Before long she returned with a pitcher and glasses. As she came close to the table, she tripped on the rug and sent the drinks crashing to the floor. Almost in a panic she bent down and started cleaning as Fred rushed to help her. Luce observed the situation for a moment and then his face turned red with anger.
“What the hell’s wrong with you, you stupid bitch?” he yelled. “You do some shit like that again and I’ll kick your damn ass!!”
“Please, Luce, it was only an accident,” pleaded Amanda. “There’s no need for such an outburst!”
“My apologies to you and your husband,” offered Luce as his anger subsided. “Please excuse my sister’s incompetence and let’s try to enjoy this fine meal.”
Fred returned to the table as Delilah finished cleaning the spilled drinks. She gathered the broken glass and retreated to the kitchen. Soon she returned with a tray of fresh drinks and distributed them to everyone seated at the table. Quietly she took her seat and listened to the conversation of Luce and his guests.
“Luce, I know this is your house and all,” reflected Fred. “But Amanda and I are not accustomed to the type of language you used in your burst of anger.”
“I didn’t mean to offend,” offered Luce.
“We know you didn’t,” consoled Amanda. “It’s just since we’ve accepted Jesus as our Lord and Savior, we have left such profanity behind.”
“Since Jesus has cleansed our souls, we shun all types of foul speech,” declared Fred. “I’m afraid we were quite stunned by your words.”
“Now, Fred, he has apologized,” reflected Amanda. “There’s no need to discuss it further.”
“I can appreciate your feelings,” offered Luce. “But to me they’re just words that express emotion.”
“Well, they were quite foul,” smiled Amanda.
“Have you ever given thought to why some words are considered profane, and yet, others are not?” pondered Luce.
“No, I haven’t,” replied Fred. Amanda agreed she had not either.
“I mean, where is the person who decided that this word is obscene and that one is not?” continued Luce. “I would like to meet that person and find out why he chose one over another.”
“I’m sure there’s a good reason for it,” reflected Fred.
“Let me tell you what I think,” offered Luce. “I believe it’s the way an elite class of people keep their sanctimonious lives from being contaminated with the thoughts and actions of a lower class that they deem undesirable.”
“I’m not certain I understand what you’re saying,” declared Amanda.
“Well, suppose there was a group of people whose lifestyle you did not approve of,” continued Luce. “Isn’t it easy to look down on them including the language they use? If you say ‘cattle’ and they say ‘cows,’ would you not be inclined to view the word ‘cows’ as profane and obscene?”
“I suppose we would,” agreed Fred. “It would be a protection to us to avoid such people.”
“And you do so by deeming any word that is unique to such a people as profane,” offered Luce. “So, it’s not the word that is the problem, it’s the people.”
“Not everyone is good association for a Christian,” declared Amanda.
“But isn’t that a high and mighty viewpoint?” asked Luce. “Wasn’t Jesus accused by the pious people of his time of dining with sinners?”
“Yes, he was,” reflected Amanda. “But he dined with them to teach a lesson to all.”
“And what was that lesson?” continued Luce. “Was it not to show the hypocrisy of the self-righteous of his day? Look, all I’m saying is a person should have the freedom to speak as he pleases. We don’t have to agree with someone, but we shouldn’t be offended by them or the words they choose to use, especially when we don’t even know why a word is considered obscene.”
“Well, like I said, it’s your house,” offered Fred.
“I know, and once again I apologize if I offend,” declared Luce. “Well, let’s dig in and eat.”
“Uh, Luce, we’re accustomed to giving thanks before a meal,” reflected Fred. “Since this is your house, would you lead us in a word of prayer?”
“You want me to pray?” smiled Luce. “And what should I pray?”
“Oh, give thanks to the Lord for the meal we are about to receive,” offered Amanda.
“Hmm, I wonder which God that cow prayed to right before she was slaughtered? It doesn’t appear her prayers were heard,” laughed Luce. “Shall I pray to the same God?”
“If you’re not going to offer thanks, then I’ll do it for us,” declared Fred.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” smiled Luce. “I’ll be glad to offer a prayer. May we all bow our heads?” Fred and Amanda bowed their heads as Luce gave Delilah a stern look. She lowered her head as he continued, “O Lord of the heavens, we come before You to give You thanks. Thank You for allowing man to keep this animal in captivity all the days of her life. Thank You for letting her be given a special diet that increased her weight to where she would bring top dollar at the market. And thank You for having her led to the slaughterhouse where she was subdued by a stun gun and then systematically sliced into hamburger and steaks. Thank You for allowing her to be packaged in small neat plastic wraps that were sold at a discount price at the food store. Also, we thank You for giving man the insecticides to spray upon the vegetation we are about to eat, and allowing it to run off into the rivers and streams and infiltrate our drinking water. And thank You for the wisdom to take vegetation from its natural surroundings and genetically enhance it to avoid blight and spoilage so it can be safely sold at a fair price in the marketplace. Without Your Divine providence, none of this could be possible. May You continue to bless man’s efforts as he diligently searches for even more efficient, though potentially deadly, ways to harvest all that this good earth has to offer. We pray this in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Fred and Amanda glanced at each other and then silently said, “Amen.” They started their meal quietly but quickly heaped praise on Delilah for the excellence of the food.
“This is some of the best I have ever eaten,” declared Amanda.
“Thank you,” Delilah humbly replied. “I like seeing people enjoy themselves.”
Later as dessert was being served, Fred turned to Luce and asked, “Have you ever thought of giving your life to Jesus?”
“Give my life to Jesus?!?” asked Luce in wonderment.
“Yes, what Fred is asking is: Are you saved?” offered Amanda. “Your prospect for eternal life in heaven is at stake.”
“I guess I sold my soul a long time ago,” laughed Luce. “It was the only way I could get this nice house.”
“Laugh if you want, Luce, but it’s really a serious matter,” declared Fred. “All you have to do is call upon the name of the Lord and you will be saved.”
“And exactly what will I be saved from?” asked Luce in a sneering tone of voice.
“Saved from the enticements of sin and their deadly effect,” explained Amanda. “Without the saving power of the Lord’s grace you will be condemned to eternal damnation in the burning fires of hell.”
“So, I’m going to hell,” mused Luce as Delilah slightly giggled. “But if I get saved then I’ll never sin again. Is that right?”
“No, Luce, Christians are not perfect,” smiled Fred. “We’re just forgiven.”
“It’s only through the saving grace of the Lord Jesus Christ that our sins are washed clean,” offered Amanda. “We may sin, but He forgives.”
“So, if I were a thief, I could continue to steal so long as I’m saved?” pondered Luce. “I’m glad the Lord’s that forgiving, because the men that run this country certainly are not. They’d still lock you up no matter how saved you are.”
“But if you were saved the Lord would forgive your trespasses,” explained Fred.
“And your love for the Lord would move you to not want to do bad things,” offered Amanda. “When you feel the love and goodness of the Lord Jesus, you will only want to do those things that please Him.”
“So, let me get this straight,” smiled Luce. “I will want to do good, but I may still do bad. But it will not matter what the bad is because the Lord will forgive me since I have accepted Him as my savior. Is that right?”
“It may be hard to understand, but it just goes to show how big God’s love is for us,” offered Fred.
“His love is big enough for you, too, Luce,” smiled Amanda as she reached and gently touched his hand.
“So, Luce, will you pray with us and willingly accept Jesus as your savior?” asked Fred as Delilah quietly giggled to herself again.
“Well, I don’t know,” reflected Luce. “To be honest about it, it’s been a long time since I’ve given any thought to it. I guess I’ve been busy doing other things.”
“Time is growing short for all of us,” continued Fred. “We were just talking about the end of time right before we came to your house.”
“All the signs point to the return of Christ coming in our lifetime,” offered Amanda. “And the way world events are shaping up, it may not be far off.”
“So, you like signs, do you?” smiled Luce.
“Signs are what the Lord has given us so we can be prepared when He comes in all His glory,” explained Fred.
“There are all types of signs,” declared Luce. “Surely, a person can’t be expected to keep up with all of them.”
“That’s why it’s important to concentrate on the important ones,” offered Amanda. “The Devil will try to sidetrack us, but God will give us the strength to endure all distractions.”
Delilah started giggling but quickly stopped when Luce gave her a stern look. He turned his attention back to Fred and Amanda and asked, “But just because a sign looks big, does that mean it’s the most important sign? Aren’t there little signs that are important to a person’s happiness?”
“I suppose there is,” agreed Fred. “But you can’t get any more important than the signs the Lord has given.”
“Fred, I hate to interrupt this discussion,” declared Amanda. “But we’d better get going if we’re going to reach my parents before bedtime.”
“Oh, I wish you wouldn’t go,” offered Luce. “As you can see, we have plenty of rooms available. In fact, you can stay free. It’ll be on the house.”
“Thank you for that kind offer,” reflected Fred. “And thank you and Delilah for this lovely meal, but we have got to be leaving.”
Luce saw the couple to the door and offered them a chance to spend the night again. They declined and soon were driving back down the street. After awhile, Amanda shook her head and observed, “I know the main road is not this far!”
“I can’t figure it out, either,” reflected Fred. “No matter how fast I drive we never come to the end.”
“And I’ve noticed there haven’t been any other cars on this road,” declared Amanda. “There’s not another house except the one we stopped at,” continued Fred. “And if we don’t find a gas station soon then we’re going to be stranded.”
“I still can’t get any service on my cell,” observed Amanda as she closed the phone. “This is starting to be strange.”
“It’s been strange ever since we turned onto this street,” reflected Fred. “I’m going to have to turn around and go back to Luce’s house. If I don’t we’re not going to go much farther.”
“Well, we can get a room there and leave early in the morning,” offered Amanda. “My parents will just have to understand.”
Fred stopped the car and made a three-point turn to head in the opposite direction. It was not long before they came to the house at the end of the street.
“Now, see, that makes no sense whatsoever,” declared Fred. “We traveled a lot farther than this.”
“I can’t explain it either,” observed Amanda. “But it’s been a long day. Let’s get some sleep and we can figure it out in the morning.”
Luce, smiling with glistening white teeth, met the couple at the door. He invited them in and then offered, “I’m so glad you’ve decided to spend the night in our humble home.”
“We really didn’t have a choice,” observed Fred. “We can’t find our way back to the main road.”
“It’s almost like your street keeps going and never ends,” offered Amanda. “I know that sounds crazy.”
“I’ve never had anyone else to have that problem,” reflected Luce as he scratched his head in wonderment. “When the sun comes up tomorrow, I’m sure you’ll have no trouble seeing the end of the road.”
“I hope so,” observed Fred. “I was starting to get frustrated.”
“A good night’s sleep will take care of that,” declared Luce. “Delilah’s still in the kitchen. Why don’t you have her fix you a nice warm glass of milk? That always relaxes me.”
“That sounds like a good idea,” replied Fred. “Would you like some, dear?”
“No, thanks,” replied Amanda. “I just want a hot bath and then some sleep.”
“Fred, you go to the kitchen, and I’ll show Amanda your room,” smiled Luce.
As Luce and Amanda climbed the stairs to the bedrooms, Fred made his way to the kitchen. He was surprised to find Delilah warming milk on the stove. She had changed clothes and now was wearing a long white terry cloth bathrobe. When she turned toward him, he was certain she was wearing nothing under the robe. It was held together by a white rope tied in a neat bow.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he blushed. “I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“You’re not bothering me,” she offered. “Would you like a glass of warm milk?”
“Yes, thank you,” he replied. “It’s been a long, tiring day.”
“I imagine it has,” she reflected. She reached into a cup and took a fine powder and sprinkled it in his glass of milk. “This will help you,” she observed.
“Uh, I’m not into taking a bunch of chemicals,” he objected. “I try to keep my body pure as a temple to the Lord.”
“Oh, it’s nothing but a little herb we keep around here,” she offered. “There’s nothing illegal or sinful about it.”
Fred took the glass, and they sat across from each other at the kitchen table. He drank half the milk and then asked, “How long have you and your brother lived here?”
“For a while,” she replied. “It’s a nice place.”
“Yes, it is,” he agreed.
After a moment of silence she asked, “How long have you and your wife been married?”
“A little over a year,” Fred replied.
“Is it a good marriage?” she inquired.
“Well, yeah,” he offered as he puzzled over why she would ask such a question. “I mean, it’s a roller coaster ride like most marriages, but it’s good.”
“I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to be married,” she reflected. “I know it could probably get boring after a while being with the same person day in and day out.”
“Yeah, well, I guess it’s not possible to have every day more exciting than the day before,” he observed. “But you develop a sense of joy and contentment living with the person you love. It’s all I can ask for.”
“But I think I could make a marriage exciting every day!” she declared. “I know I would try.”
“I believe you would try,” smiled Fred. “And what would you do different than all the other wives?”
“Well, for one, I’d be the best cook he ever had,” beamed Delilah.
“Yes, you would,” he agreed. “There’s no question about that.”
“He wouldn’t come home to a wife sitting and watching TV,” she continued. “I’d meet him at the door to welcome him. Dinner would be ready and we’d dine on the living room carpet. If he had a hard day at work or wasn’t feeling well, I’d be willing to feed him a spoonful at a time. Then I would make his bath and sponge his back while he relaxed in the warm soapy water. Anything he would want I’d be willing to do.”
“Anything he wanted?” mumbled Fred as he felt lightheaded from the warm milk and the herb.
“Anything,” breathed Delilah as her foot gently touched the calf of his leg. “Is that the way Amanda treats you?”
“No, not exactly,” he replied as he blinked his eyes trying to focus them. “I mean, it’s OK, but it’s not everything I ever wanted.”
“That’s a shame,” she offered. “It shouldn’t be that way.”
“Don’t get me wrong,” he declared. “It’s not bad. In fact, at times it’s very good.”
“But it could be better,” she smiled as her foot slowly rubbed his leg. “Tell me, Fred, when was the last time she asked you to make love to her?”
“Well, I don’t remember,” he replied. “We just do it and that’s that.”
“If I were married, my husband would never have to ask me to make love with him,” she declared. “I’d be ready and willing to make the first move. Anything he’d want to do I’d anticipate and start before he could ask. And, after we soared to the heights of ecstasy, he’d fall into a deep and satisfying sleep cuddled in my loving arms. Yes, I think I’d make a man a good wife.”
“Yes, you would,” offered Fred as he stumbled to his feet. “I need to get to my room,” he said as he grabbed the table to steady himself.
“Are you OK?” asked a concerned Delilah.
“Yeah, I’ll be all right,” he replied.
Delilah helped him to an upright position. In an instant she plunged and kissed him long and hard. He tried to force her back but she held firmly. When she finally stopped, he gasped, “Please, Delilah, I’m a married man!”
“I’m sorry,” she pleaded. “I just couldn’t help myself. I’ve always been attracted to strong men and you’re as strong as they come.”
“Me? Strong?” he asked in a bewildered tone.
“Yeah, you,” she replied. “The way you held your own with Luce at dinner tonight when you were talking about the Lord. It takes a strong man to do what you did.”
“Well, I don’t know,” offered Fred.
“I know you’re married and don’t want to be unfaithful,” she continued. “But I want you inside me so bad.”
Fred watched in amazement as she took one of the ends of the rope around her bathrobe and placed it in his hand. She smiled and offered, “All you have to do is pull the rope and unwrap the package.”
He stared at his hand holding the rope. After a moment’s hesitation, Delilah took a step back. Fred did not let go and the bow came undone. The robe fell open exposing her exquisitely bare body. He gasped at the sight of the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
“I didn’t pull…”
“I know you didn’t pull the rope,” she said as she moved closer to him. “But you didn’t let go either, did you?”
With an unflinching grace she pulled her robe up over his shoulders as she pressed her body against his. His hands and arms involuntarily encircled her waist and pulled her even closer to him. She kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “Now, isn’t this nice?”
###############
Luce could hear the shower water running as he entered the room. He walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
“Amanda?”
“I’m in the shower,” she replied.
“I just brought you this robe,” he offered. “I’ll leave it on the towel rack.”
“Thank you,” she shouted above the sound of the water.
After drying off with a towel, Amanda donned the long white terry cloth robe. She pulled it close and tied the rope. When she opened the bathroom door, she found Luce sitting at the dresser looking in the mirror. He was wearing the same type of bathrobe.
“Luce?!?”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” he smiled as he rose from the chair. “I thought I could help you with your hair.”
“Thank you, but I really don’t need any help,” she declared.
“It would be my pleasure,” he offered. “Besides, I wanted to speak with you.”
“Maybe we should wait until Fred joins us,” she offered.
“Oh, he’s busy in the kitchen,” he reflected. “I don’t mean to be a bother, but it’s just that I was intrigued with what you were saying at dinner tonight. I was wondering if you could explain things a little more.”
“What would you like to know?” she asked as she sat in the chair in front of the mirror.
“Here, allow me the honor,” he offered as he grabbed the brush and started stroking her hair. “It’s this matter of signs that I’m not clear on.”
“Can’t you see the signs of the times?” she asked as she closed her eyes with contentment as Luce continued to gently brush her hair.
“Well, yeah, I can see them,” he replied. “But what about all the other signs we see in our daily lives? Don’t they matter to you?”
“Which signs are those?” she asked.
“The little signs,” he explained. “The ones that show you love and are being loved.”
“Yes, those are important, too,” she sighed.
“I mean, from what I’ve seen, people are eager to see signs like the world is going to end, or some other big catastrophe,” Luce continued. “But they continually miss the little signs that could bring real happiness into their lives.”
“I think most people see those signs,” she offered.
“Does Fred see the signs you display?” he asked as he started massaging her scalp.
“What signs?” she breathed.
“The signs that show you love him with all your heart,” he offered. “The signs that show he ignores you sometimes and makes you feel rejected and lonely.”
“I think he does,” she reflected.
“I would think if he did he would do something about it,” reflected Luce. “I mean it was easy for me to see them.”
“I’m not that lonely,” she protested.
“I know,” he smiled. “But look at yourself in the mirror. You’re a beautiful woman, and yet, at times, Fred is too occupied with the bigger signs in his life that he just forgets about how blessed he is to have you as his wife.”
“Well, there are times when his actions make me wonder if I’m the most important person in his life,” she reflected. “But, we all have our cross to bear. We all have our demons.”
“That’s true,” he reflected. “And some of us have more demons than others. I personally know that to be true.”
“But Fred is a good man,” she continued. “And I know he loves me.”
“I’m sure he does,” he agreed as he gently massaged her temples. “But, it just seems to me he could be more attuned to your wants and needs. It should be easy for him to do so.”
“Well, that’s life, I guess,” she sighed.
“But, my dear Amanda, it can be much more,” offered Luce. “Look how beautiful you are, and yet, your muscles are so tight with tension. It shouldn’t be that way.”
“It is what it is,” she reflected.
“Here, untie your rope so I can lower your bathrobe a little and massage your neck muscles,” he offered. “You’ll feel like a new woman.”
“I’m not comfortable doing that,” she declared. “This is not the right setting for it.”
“Please, I’m not here to take advantage of you,” he declared as he laughed. “I just hate to see you so tense when relief is just a touch away. Besides, I have some warm oil here that you’ll find simply delightful.”
Amanda cautiously untied her bathrobe rope. Luce pulled the robe down off her shoulders and gently applied the oil to her neck. With deft fingers he worked the neck muscles as Amanda felt the rush of tension leave her body.
“Just close your eyes and relax,” he commanded.
“Oh, that feels so good,” she moaned. “Your fingers are so warm.”
“They have been for a long time, my dear,” he reflected. “Just let your mind drift and dream of good things. Dream of you and Fred sharing a moment in the most erotic place you can imagine.”
With her eyes closed, Amanda let her head fall forward as she became totally relaxed and submissive to Luce’s touch. He started to quietly hum as he continued to work on her neck. In the mirror he could see her bathrobe had opened and was slightly revealing one of her breast. As subtle as he could, he let his left hand venture down her chest until it came to rest on the exposed nipple. She gently moaned as his fingers caressed it until it was firm and erect. His right hand made its way under the bathrobe and started massaging her other breast. Amanda barely opened one eye and weakly begged, “Luce, please.”
“There’s nothing to be afraid of, my dear,” he whispered in her ear. “Come let me show you.”
He gently tugged on her shoulders until she stood and faced him. Smiling with glistening white teeth, he slid her bathrobe off and let it fall to the floor. Opening his own robe, he pulled it up over her shoulders as he pressed his body against hers. She gave a slight shudder as she felt him between her legs. He kissed her and then offered, “If you don’t mind there are a few other places I would love to massage.”
###############
The moon shone brightly as the still of the night was interrupted by a bolt of lightning followed by a loud clap of thunder that literally shook the earth for miles around. This produced a great deal of commotion inside the house at the end of the road as dulled senses returned to reality. Amanda came stumbling down the stairs once again donned in the long white terry cloth bathrobe. She was tugging her suitcase and yelling for Fred. He emerged from the kitchen tucking his shirt back into his pants.
“We’ve got to get out of here,” she demanded as soon as she saw him.
“Amanda, please, there’s no need to rush off,” pleaded Luce as he strolled down the steps.
“Get me out of here, Fred!” Amanda yelled as they headed for their car.
“There’s nowhere else to go,” offered Luce as he joined them in the front yard. Delilah meekly followed from behind.
“There’s nothing but evil in that house!” declared Amanda as she threw the suitcase in the trunk of the car.
“What did you do to her?” demanded Fred.
“Nothing,” smiled Luce. “I was just looking for signs.”
“Signs of what?” asked Fred.
“I was somewhat moved by our discussion at dinner, and I thought I’d explore it more, that’s all,” offered Luce.
“The only sign you need is the one that shows the Lord is going to destroy wicked people like you!” declared an angry Amanda as she opened the passenger door. “You have paved your way to hell, mister!!”
“And you two have your noses so far up God’s ass that all you can see, smell, and eat is His holy shit!” yelled Luce.
“You’re a devil!!” shouted Amanda.
“No, you’re wrong, my dear,” smiled Luce. “I’m not a devil. I am the Devil!!”
“Get in the car, Amanda,” ordered Fred. “Luce, get out of our way and don’t try to stop us!”
“But, Freddy, old boy, there’s nowhere to go,” offered Luce. “You’ve been so busy looking at the big colossal signs that you’ve completely ignored all the little ones.”
“Like which one?” asked Fred as he opened the car door.
“Like the one at the beginning of this road,” declared Luce. “It said, ‘No Outlet’ but you chose to come down the street anyway.”
“No Outlet?!?”
“That’s right,” beamed Luce. “This road has no outlet. You can’t leave! Travel all day long if you want but you’ll come right back here to me!”
“That’s why we couldn’t find the main street,” yelled Amanda from inside the car.
“But that doesn’t make sense,” pondered Fred as he started the car.
“Signs don’t have to make sense,” offered Luce. “They’re just signs.”
Fred squealed the car’s tires as he backed out of the driveway. Luce bent over with laughter as he watched the couple head down the road. On the main street two deer hunters were traveling in a pickup truck as they approached the road Luce’s house was on. They had started out before dawn to secure a good stand on the first day of open deer season. As they came to Luce’s road the driver slammed on his brakes as a little old woman crossed the street in front of him. He swerved to the right to miss her and ran over a sign at the beginning of the road, knocking it to the ground. The sign had read ‘No Outlet.’ Quickly backing the truck, the men looked for the old woman. She was not to be found. The driver stepped on the gas and the truck sped off into the distance. Immediately, Fred and Amanda could see the end of the street they had been traveling. They pulled to the stop sign, and then turned onto the main street. Both breathed a sigh of relief as they realized they were finally leaving Luce’s menacing lair. From the distance they both distinctly heard him yell, “Noooooo!!!!!”
Amanda looked out her window in stunned silence. Finally, she turned to Fred and asked,
“What just happened back there?”
“I’m not really sure,” he replied. “But I don’t think it was anything good.”
After reflecting for a moment, and then clearing her throat, she asked, “Did you have sex with that woman?”
Fred glanced at her and replied, “How about you and Luce? What did you two do?”
She thought for a second and then looked out the window again. “I guess we have some things we need to talk about.”
“I guess we do,” he meekly agreed. “I guess we do.”
Luce stood in shock as he watched the couple turn off his street and continue on their way to Amanda’s parent’s home. His face turned crimson red with anger and whiffs of smoke emerged from his ears. From the rear Delilah walked into him and their two bodies merged into one. A curtain in the living room burst into flames.
His attention was diverted as he heard laughter coming from above him. He looked up and saw the heavenly creature descending toward him.
“Hello, Luce,” yelled Gabe. “What you been up to?”
“Oh, don’t give me that smug attitude,” declared Luce. “You know very well what you and your little helper did.”
“Luce, your house is on fire,” declared Gabe as his feet settled onto the yard.
“I don’t care,” cried Luce. “I was having some of the best fun of my life and you had to go and spoil it for me!”
“Why, what do you mean?” smiled Gabe.
“I had that holier-than-thou couple right where I wanted them, but you had to interfere,” offered Luce. “First, there’s lightning and thunder on a cloudless night.”
“I thought that was a nice touch,” reflected Gabe.
“Then that little twerp of yours had to walk in front of that truck so they would knock my sign down,” continued Luce. “You know exactly what you did, Gabe!”
“She was just trying to protect that young couple from your influence,” declared Gabe. “I think she’s getting quite good at helping you control your wild impulses. In fact, she just called the fire station and reported your house on fire for you.”
“Well, it’s just not fair,” protested Luce. “First, you and He make me stay in this town when I wanted to leave and then you ruin my fun by interfering with the illusion I built!”
“That’s just the nature of the game, isn’t it old buddy slash adversary,” smiled Gabe.
“Gabe, I’m sick of this town,” reflected Luce. “I know He said I had to stay here, but I can’t take much more of this. I’m going to be totally bored. There’s nothing to do here, especially if you and that helper of yours keep getting in the way!”
“Well, I’ve got good news,” declared Gabe. “He’s decided to show mercy and let you leave.”
“He’s showing mercy on me?!?” asked Luce in shock.
“No, not you,” offered Gabe. “He’s going to show mercy on the people in this town. I guess He figures they’ve suffered enough having you around. That’s why you get to leave.”
“Well, whatever, as long as I can get out of this miserable place,” laughed Luce. “I’ve been dying to go to Betelgeuse. There’s this little planet there that has some new creatures that I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet.”
“No, you’re not going there,” declared Gabe.
“You said I could leave,” protested Luce.
“I said you could leave this town,” explained Gabe. “But you’ve still got to stay on earth.”
“That’s not fair!” protested Luce. “That’s not what I want to do!!”
“Take it or leave it,” smiled Gabe. “You can pick another town and go there, or you can stay here. It’s your choice.”
“And what am I going to do in another town?” asked a frustrated Luce. “All these towns start to look alike after awhile. This is just so unfair!”
“It’s the best He’ll do right now,” offered Gabe as he started ascending into the early morning sky. “Why don’t you do something really different and behave yourself? I’m sure He’d be so surprised He’d let you go wherever you wanted.”
“I do behave myself,” yelled Luce at the shrinking figure. “It’s all the people around me. I just try to have fun and they all take it the wrong way!”
“I’ll be back to check on you later,” offered Gabe as he vanished from sight. “Try to stay out of trouble. Oh, I’m sorry; I forgot who I was talking to.”
“This is just not fair,” declared Luce as he stomped back into the burning house. In the distance sirens could be heard as the fire trucks lumbered down the street.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Niles, Nevada
“Mr. Belial, the town board has your request before it,” explained the Mayor. “Would you mind telling us the reason for such a request?”
“Well, Mr. Mayor, I live at the end of my street,” replied Mr. Belial. “My house is the only house on that street.”
“And the problem is, . . .?” inquired the Mayor.
“The problem is, Mr. Mayor, that people are always coming to the end of the road,” explained Mr. Belial. “They don’t realize that the road ends.”
“And this has caused you grief in what way?” asked the Mayor as he rolled his eyes in boredom.
“Well, you see, the problem is, that they then have to turn around in my driveway,” offered Mr. Belial. “All day long I have people in my driveway, trying to turn around.”
“It seems to me, it would be the neighborly thing to do to let people use your driveway,” offered one of the board members.
“I’m just as neighborly as the next man,” bristled Mr. Belial. “But I am an inventor of sorts. I have some very sensitive experiments that are easily disturbed by such activity.”
“Let me make sure I’ve got this straight,” mused the Mayor. “People turning around in your driveway are ruining your so-called experiments. Is that correct?”
“Yes, Mr. Mayor, it is,” replied Mr. Belial. “And besides, many of them come up to my door and ask for directions. I just don’t have the time to always stop what I’m doing to help.”
“So, you believe, that the proper signage would prevent you from being disturbed so much?” inquired another board member.
“Yes, I do,” replied Mr. Belial.
“And so, we board members are to take it upon ourselves to spend this town’s money on a sign to prevent people from interrupting you in your important work?” smirked the Mayor.
“Mr. Mayor, I am willing to pay for the sign and to pay for the installation,” declared Mr. Belial.
“Oh, why didn’t you say so in the first place?” laughed the Mayor. “I believe under such circumstances, this board can accommodate your request.”
“That would be extremely helpful, sir,” offered Mr. Belial. “I would like to thank you and all members of the board for working with me on this.”
“It’s our pleasure to serve the interest of our small town here,” reflected the Mayor. “Oh, by the way, what exactly is it that you want the sign to say?”
Mr. Belial took a quick survey of the town’s board members and then smiled with white glistening teeth. He paused for a moment and then said, “Mr. Mayor, I want everyone to know how serious I am. The sign needs to say: ‘Dead End.’”
THE END
Copyright ©2006 by Jerry W. Crews