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Back to Act I Scene 1 - Two Peas In A Pod
Back to Scene 1 - Two Peas In A Pod
Back to Bulge (or Pressed to Make a Point)
This time when Willie walked through the HR office the two employees watched his every move. He smiled and nodded his head at them but they only watched.
He took a seat across the desk from Teresa Woolverton, the local HR manager, as she nervously bounced her ink pen against the top of her desk. She was concentrating on her computer’s screen while trying to avoid gawking at what was only a few feet away from her.
After gathering her thoughts she started, “Mr. Rice, I didn’t expect to see you back in my office so soon after the last incident.”
Willie shrugged and didn’t speak. She continued, “I take you understand why you are here.”
“No, I don’t,” he stated as he feigned innocence. “I took my suspension and I’m attending the harassment training as you instructed. So, what’s the problem?”
His smug attitude was not sitting well with her, but she bit her lower lip and explained, “We’ve received some complaints that you are violating our dress code policy.”
“I am??” he acted shocked. “I’m wearing a polo shirt, khaki pants, and dress shoes. How am I violating the dress code?”
She felt her blood wanting to boil at his insolence, “Let’s cut to the chase, Mr. Rice, you know exactly what I speaking about. Your penis is protruding and it’s making it visible for everyone to see.”
“So, what’s the problem with that?” he asked as he adjusted himself in his seat.
“It’s unacceptable,” Teresa declared. “We cannot dress in a manner that others find offensive.”
“But, it’s covered up with clothes that meet the dress code,” he objected. “I don’t believe I can be held responsible for a natural occurrence.”
“I believe the truth here is that this is not natural,” she declared between clenched teeth.
“Well, you might have a point there, Ms. Woolverton,” he admitted. “I did take advantage of my week’s suspension and some vacation time to have an enhancement made.”
“So, you see that’s an issue,” she continued. “There are some of your coworkers who are offended by your ‘enhancement.’”
“Why would they be?” he asked with as innocent of a face as he could muster.
She gave a loud sigh at his evidently ignorant and insensitive lack of understanding, “It lends itself to being sexually suggestive. It is out of the norm and so some are offended.”
“What about what the women are allowed to do here?” he asked as he sat straight up in his chair.
“What do you mean?” she questioned as she tried to figure out his angle.
“There’s been a dozen or more women here who’ve had breast augmentation done,” he asserted. “So, how is that different from what I’ve done?”
She stared hard at him and simply replied, “It’s different.”
“How?”
She thought for a moment and then answered, “Breast augmentation is a medical procedure that has been accepted here for a number of years. There is no precedent for what you’ve done, and so, people find it unacceptable.”
“I see,” he said. “Ms. Woolverton, you’ve been employed here quite a long time. Do you remember the first employee who came in with breast implants? There was no precedent for it at that time, but you allowed it.”
“Yes, but this is different, we’ve had a number of complaints about what you’ve done,” she objected.
“Are you trying to tell me that when the first woman with implants walked into this building that Evelyn Littlewood didn’t complain?” he asked with a big grin across his face.
She started bouncing her ink pen again, “You can try and twist this all you want, but I’ve made my decision. You cannot work here with such a display.”
“I think you’d best think this through.”
“I have.”
—Sensibilities
Teresa & 2 HR employees
♫ You’re shocking,
You’re shocking our sensibilities.
You’re rocking,
You’re rocking us to our very knees.
It’s not allowed,
You gotta stop it right now!
You can’t be shocking,
You can’t be rocking,
You can’t be knocking our righteous sensibilities. ♫
2 HR employees
♫ It’s shocking, it’s got us rocking. ♫
Willie
♫ I’m going to give you a certificate,
Just for being a genuine hypocrite.
You’re such a hypocrite, hypocrite. ♫
2 HR employees
♫ You’re shocking, you’ve got us rocking. ♫
Teresa
♫ How dare you to go and cop an attitude,
Having a job should fill you with gratitude.
So, drop that attitude, attitude. ♫
Willie
You can kiss my attitude!
Teresa & 2 HR employees
♫ You’re shocking,
You’re shocking our sensibilities.
You’re rocking,
You’re rocking us to our very knees.
It’s not allowed,
You gotta stop it right now!
You can’t be shocking,
You can’t be rocking,
You can’t be knocking our righteous sensibilities. ♫
2 HR employees
♫ It’s shocking, it’s got us rocking. ♫
Teresa
♫ You think you’re smart with your little dirty deeds,
But, I’ve seen better and they never succeed,
No, you’ll never succeed, won’t succeed. ♫
2 HR employees
♫ You’re shocking, you’ve got us rocking. ♫
Willie
♫ You wouldn’t know shit if it slammed in your face,
You’d lick your lips and think what a great new taste,
You’d think a great new taste, great new taste. ♫
Teresa
I expect such talk out of you!
2 HR employees
♫ You’re shocking,
You’re shocking,
You’re shocking,
Oh—. ♫
Teresa & 2 HR employees
♫ You’re shocking,
You’re shocking our sensibilities.
You’re rocking,
You’re rocking us to our very knees.
It’s not allowed,
You’re gonna stop it right now!
No, it’s not allowed, no way, no how,
Stop it now!!
You can’t be shocking,
You can’t be rocking,
You can’t be shocking,
You can’t be rocking,
You can’t be knocking our righteous,
Oh, our righteous,
Sens—ibil—i—ties—. ♫
Willie studied the HR manager for a moment and then asked, “Do you know the law firm of Peebles and Associates?”
Teresa wasn’t expecting this and quietly answered, “Yes, I’m familiar with them.”
“I thought so,” he continued as he handed her the attorney’s business card. “I’ve retained them as my lawyers.”
“I see.”
“As I understand it, you’ve had several dealings with them over the years,” he offered. “They’re quite aggressive in defending employee’s rights, and I hear, they almost cost you your job once.”
She swallowed hard and declared, “I’m bound by the settlement agreement to not comment on that situation.”
“Oh, it doesn’t matter,” Willie shrugged. “I just wanted to make sure you knew that I knew about it. Also, they want you to call them before you make any final decisions about me.”
“Why would I do that?” she questioned as she attempted to bolster her quickly waning confidence.
“It probably has to do with the fact that they have established a new division within the firm,” he replied. “Its specialty is going to be pursuing gender discrimination suits and they’re looking for a landmark case to take on. They tell me they’d be very interested in litigation on my behalf if you and AMC jeopardize my employment in any way over male enhancement.”
“Are you threatening me, Mr. Rice?” she asked as coldly as she could.
“No, not at all,” he answered with a grin. “I don’t have to. That’s what I hired Peebles and Associates to do for me.”
With that being said, he turned and walked briskly away, leaving her steaming as she thought feverishly on how to proceed with his case. With a huff she muttered profanity under her breath and scurried back to her desk to call the Site Manager and inform her there could be no action taken against Willie. She was determined she was not going to give those lawyers another chance at taking her job.
😇
Go to Act II Scene 3 - Abstraction
Back to Bulge (or Pressed to Make a Point)
Back to Act I Scene 1 - Two Peas In A Pod
Back to Act I Scene 2 - Perky2
Back to Act I Scene 3 - Inhumane Resource
Back to Act II Scene 1 - Protuberance
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