Dont Push, PTSD inside ©

Update March 2021 © Jeroen van den Bergh den Dulck Proclaimer;

This article is based on experiences and opinions. It is not about diagnosing or treating ptsd. In case of complaints, contact your doctor,

clinical psychologist or psychiatrist. They are your confidential counselor. Your ptsd is not a license to misbehave in public or to others.

In a nutshell, post traumatic stress disorder, abbreviated PTSD (in Dutch: ptss) is a collective term for ailments, as an umbrella or as a house with many rooms and more doors.

This after the sight and story of the Winchester Mystery House or Winchester Mansion in San Jose, California. Sarah L. Winchester continued to build here almost continuously for years, after the death of her daughter, in 1866, and later, her husband in 1881. Some say she went mad or believed she must be cursed. Others claim she was convinced the house was haunted. By ghosts of victims killed by Winchester guns. She believed that with building almost continuously, she could stay ahead of them or fool them. The house has 160 rooms, 47 fireplaces, 40 staircases, 6 kitchens and 3 elevators. Causes of PTSD or complex PTSD can be very different, yet there are similarities when it comes to complaints. Many patients suffer from re-experiences or certain causes (triggers) that evoke re-experiences. In addition, it is often difficult to have confidence, for example in oneself, others, the world around us or the system. When someone gets too much on their plate, or "the bucket overflows", it often happens that people shut themselves out from society, close the curtains at home and pull the plug from the telephone.

Also in 3D in Google Earth or as download in Sketch Up

About Sarah L.Winchester on wiki

Winchester Mystery House Homepage

Explanation Wiki on PTSD and Complex PTSD

Headstrong and Stine Groove - Tears - Aurosonic Progressive Mix

1993: Diagnosis by professor / army doctor: Complex PTSD due to long-term exposure to; 1) violence and 2) threat of violence: Both causes with real fears of death. That was the short version.

Part 1) I was in the hospital at the age of 4. Between the ages of 4 and 6 I was examined often and for a long time. This was revised in 1993 and referred to as 'stress-related stomach disorder'. My food came up. In this long-standing situation, my father is unable to intervene. My grandmother intervened when I was 12. Unfortunately I still suffer from it, just not that bad. When there is stress, positive or negative, the stomach valve may show a hiccup. Through a slice of sausage, a piece of bread or a sip of coffee. My violent aggressive alcoholic mother hit me concussions until I was 16. No, this is not the worst yet. From the age of 10 I had to get her booze from the supermarket. My dad worked until 1700pm and if he was 5 minutes late for dinner, she was already mad at 16:30 pm. She got real angry and carried on until 1 am, then my father went to sleep. She would scream next to his bed, but he didn't respond. Then she took my sister and me, threw us in the back of the car, and drove to her mother. About 45 minutes on the highway. Sometimes she stopped several times to burst into hysterical crying fits. Later you realize that she already had a bottle of booze at these moments. People now respond with "oh, how bad" No, this was not even the worst. I intervened for the first time around the age of 10. Fortunately, I was in the passenger seat. I took the wheel, looked left, in all the mirrors as I steered to the right. I even turned on the turn signal and pumped the brakes. She only woke up when we were already on the emergency lane. From this moment on I decided, "My parents don't care that I exist or live". Imagine, if I was in the backseat with headphones or busy on a game console. She made this one-hour rip on the boring highway, once a week on average.

So I became the designated person to keep an eye on her. It wasn't until this year, I realized that I actually saved her life that day. On my 15th/16th, in 1986-1987 I am not doing well in elementary and high school. My father does not like, when I blame the 'situation at home'. But all the teachers, neighbors and my grandmother, the nurse, did so. Teachers who try to talk to my parents, were being taunted and scolded at by my mother. On this moment, they think, my IQ is between 105 and 115 (on a scale of 130). I have to see the school psychologist. She saved me. She sends me to the clinical psychologist, who works with a pedagogical therapist. Now other children are starting to bully that I am "crazy, cause I have to go to the psychiatrist". With the psychologist, I'm getting better, soon. She lets me talk, thinks I am an open book, does not hit me and let me do multiple IQ tests in two years. First I 'hit' 118, then 127, then 128. Subsequent IQ tests, are only evidence of an upward trend. For the treatment, my parents have to come also. Then it #AllGoesUpInFlames My mother explodes in front of the psychologist. Three treatments later, the psychologist stops the process. Together with the pedagogical therapist, they say goodbye to me and tells: "Well good luck with your life, and remember, if it goes wrong later, it is not your fault". I ride off, on my moped, to the city and coffeeshop. The following year I do two suicide attempts. Part 2) My mother's brother was a criminal who exposed us to scenes on which the Godfather trilogy appears to be based. The kidnapping of my nephew in '93 eventually caused the "bucket overflow", or my fuse box blew up. At the moment I had been working for the medical service for 3 years. Trained as an ambulance nurse, doctor's assistant and life-saving disaster fighter. Again we had to deal with alcohol, or rather with the negative consequences of alcohol abuse. (twice as much as in civil society) Stupid accidents, fights or intoxications. The doctors taught me about alcohol 'use and abuse'. And why my mother fell asleep. This was due to the accumulated chronic fatigue, caused by 'staying up every night to 2 am for years. In combination with alcohol abuse and not recovery enough before continuing. Every day.. One of the doctors I had worked for, about 1.5 year, made the diagnosis fairly quickly. And I haven't even sought help for what I've been through in 5 years in the military. I had been working there for less than a year when the 1st patient hanged himself on April 30, '91, on Queens day. In his farewell letter he wrote "because he had worked for Her Majesty all his life, where is she then?" He didn't make this up himself, he was on a 'psychiatric amount' of medication. No aftercare. A cup of coffee, a cigarette. I only found some peace in 2014, when King's Day came for the first time on April 27.

Practically, I discovered 2 years in the army. We went over the base with with an instructor and 10 men from the medical service. Several practice-accidents had been set up. The group has to talk, how do we solve this. I was standing next to the instructor. And say all 7 - and 2 extra - possible solutions within 10 seconds. The instructor looked at the others, then to me and again at the group. (he is still a friend) After 1 minute the group comes up with almost the same solutions. So I know, if something happens, I won't lose time in a discussion, but will get to work 10x faster. Yes, indeed, I got 0 points, for cooperation.

Nice, those numbers. But what does it mean? Okay, you can become anything you want.

That little guy on skis, on the right ?. Yes that's me.

I heard the term ptsd at the end of 1991. My experience is initially away from the military. I've spoken to veterans from WW-I to the present day, managed to save some people, sometimes by talking for hours or just a simple gesture. After the army I sometimes gave assistance to police in acute situations. After 28 years of experience, where some don't even know the difference between PTSD and C-PTSS, I have become a kind of expert by experience. I usually see it in the eyes and that turns out to be true 9 out of 10 times. I am highly gifted and still study for myself, especially how employers or doctors can deal with patients.

From January 1991 the 1st reconnaissance, preparation and construction missions to Iraq and Yugo did start from my base. Soldiers visit a doctor first, have to urinate over an indicator strip, receive a blood pressure measurement and a questionnaire for medical complaints. If something special comes up, I have to warn the doctor. When they return, they undergo the same. Now, after a few months, they receive the aftercare list (questionnaire, structured - psychic complaints) at home. On my desk is a chain form on which I check the names of returned lists. Within 2 months I discover that 50% of the boys do not return this list. I'll tell my doctor. He responds: Not our responsibility, just submit. I get upset (our own people were in Iraq at the time). I say: If someone doesn't return the list, there may be something wrong. Then we just have to look behind the front door. Doctor: "Yes, you are right, but it is not our responsibility. Submit". I walk away and say "stupid doctor." In 1998 I read in the newspaper that 2.6% of the deployed soldiers got psychological complaints. I think, that's not right, you're missing half of the data. Or, will a soldier who drinks a bottle of wine every day and hits his wife, honestly fill it in on the list. Or maybe the partner filled in the list with positive answers to help keep the peace at home. You have to look behind the front door. In my opinion, it is deliberate that defense bury its head in the sand. Answers as; You work in the army, so you know that war is a risk.. not quite right, because most of them have been seduced with a humanitarian mission.

I know from studies that psychological distress, abuse or terrorism can already cause scar tissue in the brain. I sometimes say; causes don't matter, we have many similar or overlapping symptoms. As negative thoughts, not feeling at home or safe anywhere, personality disorders, inferiority complexes, recurring memories, sleep problems, nightmares, crying every day, closing the curtains, turning off the phone and being in contact with others for 3 weeks. For veterans it is often distrust/trust in; or disbelief of "all people" in general, for women it is usually "the men". I started talking in public about my own c-ptsd in 2020. This in response to a neighbor. In 2017 we had an introductory meeting and I asked why she had a service dog. She replied: I have PTSD. She later explained that it is complex ptsd. She's my hero because she told this to a complete stranger. For example, I hadn't told my ex or sister, out of fear. Going into nature works for me, writing it off has helped a lot. And when I wake up at night, I don't sit down on the PC, but light a candle, seek peace and quietly try to analyze an incident in detail, to pick it apart, so that the dream does not come back. Do not let them get to you. Embrace your own feelings about it, you are NOT alone. Be careful with booze, drugs or medicines. Don't make a prison of your life. But find a buddy who really understands. In my opinion, normal (or assistance) dogs do more than doctors, psychologists or psychiatrists.

Opinions are divided about the number of military, police officers and civilians who have some form of ptsd. Regarding ptsd in military and police, one says 2.6 to 3.5%. Another thinks it could be 60 to 70%. It is logical, in connection with insurance claims, that an employer would rather close his eyes. There are different criteria, the method of diagnosis may differ or it depends on how it is defined, which may give rise to a different picture. In addition, as an example, one person is already diagnosed within 1.5 years after a fatal accident of a child. While another goes through different diagnoses for years and first loses job, home, partner before being diagnosed with ptsd. In 2013, the updated manual for the classification of mental disorders (DSM-5) was published. The definition c-pttsd disappeared, but an improvement is that ptsd is now no longer part of the chapter 'anxiety disorders', but now belongs to a new chapter, of the DSM-5: "trauma and stress related disorders". The government site 'Public Health and Info' states that "About 7% of the Dutch population has had or will avee ptsd in their lifetime". This has been estimated and would amount to 1.190.000 total. The same site says that "130,000 people are registered with the GP with this diagnosis" and "In the period 2017-2019, GPs registered an estimated average of 67.000 new cases of ptsd per year." Obviously, not everyone goes to the doctor.

Sources (2021) :

Volksgezondheid en Info Public Health - About Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

GGZ Mental Health Care Standards About Psycho Trauma and Stress-Related Disorders / Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder PTSD.

Dutch Veteran Institute - Factsheet 'Posttraumatic stress after missions'.

"What's worse. Not being able to tell your story, or, being able to tell it but being called crazy"In 2012, the national police chief said on Dutch TV that "ptsd is not a problem within the force". Half of police services, myself and psychiatry professor Berthold Gersons responded somewhat surprised. After all, Mr Gersons had just published the "Ptsd at the police - blueprint" - after 16 years of research and 1000 users of the police outpatient clinic. Mr. Gersons came up with this statement: "Six out of ten officers get PTSD, in a lighter to more serious form". Below: "PTSD at the police - better in the picture" by Berthold Gerson from 2013 (Dutch).

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