Dole Volunteers at Library

Dole Volunteers At Library

By staff writer B.S.

Bob Dole Says Vote For Bob Dole Website

5/18/2004

Burlington, IA – Today Bob Dole "spontaneously" walked into the local library of this historical Iowa town, and asked to volunteer. At first it was an awkward situation, as no one on the library staff recognized the decaying Dole.

"Bob Dole doesn’t have Dick Clark’s doctor, so Bob Dole does change." Had a spiteful Dole to say afterward.

The librarians were caught offguard as Dole had two minions started clearing off entire shelves of books, and having other staff members cart in and stock his book.

One political analyst feels that Dole’s motives run much deeper than simply trying to get people to read his book. "Bob Dole may be trying to angle for his own Presidential Library. Needless to say, maybe he should spend less time volunteering and more time trying to get the Republican party to take him seriously again" said analyst Geronimo Pena.

To that statement, Dole had this to say. "Republicans do take Bob Dole seriously. That’s why they vote for Bob Dole!"

The highlight of the day had to be when Republicans of Bob (or ROB for short) once again showed up to support their ancient hero. Yet even that positive note soured when late in the afternoon one child visiting the library ran away for Dole in terror, screaming, "Zombie! Zombie!"simply after seeing Dole.