Thesis Statement: Package

All essays must contain a thesis statement; it must respond to the prompt with a historically defensible claim that establishes a line of reasoning. The thesis must NOT restate or rephrase the prompt. The thesis must consist of one or more sentences located in one place, either in the introduction or the conclusion. You are required to develop your thesis in the introduction and revisited in the conclusion.

Thesis Formula:

X. However, A and B; therefore, Y.

The final version may look like:

X; however, A and B, and therefore, Y.

OR

Although(Even though, Despite) X, Y because of A and B.

X = alternative perspective [counter-argument or the concession statement]
A = first organizational theme - line of reasoning that does not include evidence
B = second organizational theme - line of reasoning that does not include evidence
Y = assertion with regard to the prompt [claim]

Alternative formula: Although X, A and B; therefore, Y.

Alternative formula: Although (Even though) X, Y because A and B.

Words of caution: Some who use alternative formats tend to oversimplify the components and therefore the overall argument, so you need to make sure you use the strongest, proper academic language possible.

As you progress through this course, you will have many chances to practice using different historical thinking skills and reasoning processes both to convey your historical knowledge and to make a compelling argument. Let's take a look at an essay prompt that asks you to compare the causes of historical developments that are covered in periods 1-2 [modules 1-2].

Prompt

Compare French and Spanish colonial relations with American Indians, explaining the reasons for similarities in interactions during the period between 1492 and 1754.

Step 1. Break down the prompt.

This prompt is asking you to respond by making an argument. You'll need to use the historical reasoning process of comparison, How do we know this? The prompt contains a couple of key words and phrases. first it asks you to "compare" French and Spanish colonial relations with American Indians. Second, the prompt asks you to "explain the reasons for similarities [and differences]" -- in other words, your explanation must explain why these similarities [and differences] occurred. Notice that the prompt may only use the term similarities; however, you must address both similarities and differences to address the deeper complexity of the prompt. [I refer to this as "completing the package."] This will ensure your response is a full-fledged argument and not just a description of what you know about history.

Step 2. List and categorize your relevant historical knowledge.

Let's take a look at how you might use this historical reasoning process to craft a thesis that responds to this prompt. You can pre-write by simply writing down the features of each colonial power. One wa. y to do this is to make a chart that characterizes Spanish and French interactions with American Indians. For each characterization, not a piece of evidence that supports your assertion. Don't worry about noting any similarities or differences yet; for right now you should only concentrate on organizing your observations about each colonial power. I suggest you identify at least three features and a matching piece of evidence for each, but locate and characterize as many as you can support in the time you are given. As you brainstorm, try to include as many "proper nouns" (people, events, court cases, laws, wars, inventions, and so on) as you can. Your chart may look something like this:

Once you have characterized each nation's interactions with American Indians, you can compare them. I suggest creating a new chart, like the one that follows, to note the similarities and the differences in French and Spanish colonists' interactions with American Indians.

As this chart demonstrates, you should write statements that no only draw direct comparisons when addressing similarities but also incorporate evidence.

When you make a claim about a difference between French and Spanish colonies, you should present an idea about one colony supported by evidence, insert a transition noting the contrasting relationship, and then present the idea and evidence about the other colony. Transition words such as "but," "Although," "whereas," or "however" are all good ways to signal and emphasize a contrasting relationship. [See the Writing Resources page for lists of transitional words.]

After noting each similarity and difference, add explanations of the reasons for these similarities and differences. These explanations only need to be a phrase or a sentence. The important thing is to make sure you've given some thought to how you will apply causation to support your argument.

Step 3. Write a thesis statement.

Now that you have taken a few moments to plan a response that fully addresses all aspects of hte prompt, it's time to use these claims to craft a thesis statement that will introduce your argument and begin your essay. In this case, your thesis should clearly convey two things: an overview of your interpretation of the similarities and differences in Spanish and French interactions with American Indians in North America prior to 1754, and to what you assert are the reasons for those similarities and differences.

A weak thesis will look something like this:

While both the Spanish and the French colonized North America and the American Indians there, the Spanish were cruel to the American Indians, whereas the French were generally more accepting of their cultural practices.

While it's true that this thesis contains an assertion about similarities and differences between the French and the Spanish in their interactions with American Indians, it depends upon vague claims about the "cruel" Spanish and the "accepting" French that will be difficult to defend in an essay. Also note that this thesis does not attempt to explain the reasons for the similarities and differences it names.

A stronger thesis will look something like this [notice the use of the formula]:

Spanish and French showed similarity in their interactions with American Indians in that both formed mutually beneficial alliances with some local tribes during the early periods of conquest; however, the French, who depended primarily on trade with native peoples, employed forced labor far less than the Spanish, who sought precious metals and agricultural products in the regions they colonized, and therefore forced native peoples to produce these goods.

Here, the thesis provides a detailed argument that completely answers the prompt by noting that both the Spanish and the French formed early alliances with American Indians, but also establishes that the differences between the Spanish and the French relations with native peoples were based on their different laboring needs. While the French depended primarily on trade, the Spanish established colonies based on the extraction of precious metals and agricultural production, which required a controlled labor force.

Samples aligned to Historical Thinking Skills

Causation Thesis

Evaluate the relative importance of different causes for the expanding role of the US in the world in the period from 1865 to 1910.

At the end of the nineteenth century, the United States showed a superior attitude toward other areas around the globe coupled with the idea of the "white-man's burden" was used to justify intervention in international affairs. However, the desire for foreign economic markets along with the belief that America was the world's police power were stronger causes and therefore leading to an expanding role in world affairs from 1865 to 1910.

Comparison Thesis

Evaluate the extent of similarities between the Chesapeake and New England colonies in North America from 1607 to 1754.

Both the Chesapeake and New England colonists fled England for hardships and once in North America tried to establish friendly relations with the Native Americans; however, patterns of settlement as well as cultural demographics between the two colonial areas were drastically different, and therefore, despite some similarities in migration patterns, there were greater differences between the two unique colonies.

Continuity Thesis

Evaluate the extent of change in the United States foreign policy in the period 1783 to 1828.

In the first half of the nineteenth century the United States engaged in some military excursions and international intervention; however, a precedent was established early on in the founding of the country with regard to isolationism and neutrality toward European affairs, and Americans continued with a continental expansionist policy, and therefore, despite a few instances of military intervention, the Americans continued to pursue policies of isolationism and expansionism.

Levels of Specificity in the Thesis Statement

It is important that you achieve the appropriate level of specificity in your thesis statement. There are three specific ways of understanding specificity with regard to information.

LEVEL THREE

This is not a college level, historically, defensible thesis statement. This thesis attempt will NOT earn the thesis point.

LEVEL THREE : this is information that is very vague and general

Goldilocks Rule: Too vague and general; limited attempt

Example: There were a few examples of political continuities with regard to US foreign policy during the first half of the nineteenth century. However, there were significant economic and ideological changes which took place during the period 1783 to 1828, therefore, there were more changes than continuities.

*Most students who do not earn the thesis point write these types of thesis statements. For many students, this is the starting point at the beginning of the school year.

LEVEL TWO: YOUR TARGET

You must at least achieve this level to plan for a strong essay and to secure earning the one point for a historically, defensible thesis statement.

Goldilocks Rule: Just RIght, ideal balance --it strikes a balance between too specific and too general or vague

LEVEL TWO: this is information that is just right, it strikes a balance between too specific and too general and vague.

Example: In the first half of the nineteenth century the United States engaged in some military excursions and international intervention; however, a precedent was established early on in the founding of the country with regard to isolationism and neutrality toward European affairs. The Americans also continued a continental expansionist policy, and therefore, despite a few instances of military intervention, the Americans continued to pursue policies of isolationism and expansionism.

LEVEL ONE

This is a very specific, detail oriented plan for an essay that includes a historically, defensible thesis statement.

Goldilocks Rule: Too specific potential; could lead to challenges especially with timed, impromptu essays--some cram everything into the opening paragraph instead of leaving an opportunity to develop ideas in body paragraphs

LEVEL ONE: this is information that is very specific and detailed. Lots of proper nouns are found in this level of specificity.

Example: During the first half of the nineteenth century the United States got involved with the Barbary pirates and was involved in another war with Britain during the War of 1812; however, George Washington established a position of neutrality with his Farewell Address and the Monroe Doctrine determined our foreign relationship with other world powers, and therefore, despite a few instances of intervention, there were more continuities from 1783 to 1828.

Common Questions

Why this format?

This format is providing you with an effective tool for setting up your opening paragraph to not only address the prompt with a line of reasoning but to also identify the alternative perspective (advanced reasoning) you will explore in the essay. This is taking your thesis to a different level in analytical writing (which is the focus in APUSH), especially in timed, impromptu situations.

Do I have to use this format?

In this class, YES. This is the STRONGEST, ANALYTICAL thesis statement for HISTORY essays.
Some of you will quickly find this format also helps with the writing portion on the SAT and ACT and some of your other courses.
Some English teachers do not want you to use this format. Remember that English, science, math and history have different styles of writing. You need to develop a wide range of skills for different situations.

What is a thesis package?

This is a term used in this course to reinforce that we are providing a historically defensible claim (assertion), line of reasoning, and alternative perspective (concession statement or counterargument) together to setup the history essay. The addition of the alternative perspective makes it clear to the reader that you are including (attempting to include) advanced reasoning.

Can all of the components be combined into one sentence?

Yes, all three components can be combined into a complex, compound sentence. However, it is recommended that you keep the three parts separated in the beginning of the term so you become an expert in all three components then incorporate stronger transitional language to pull them altogether.
However....There is no reason to cram everything into one sentence. The end result of cramming everything into one sentences tends to be oversimplified statements that do NOT achieve the desired outcome. We purposely write the thesis package in multiple sentences to provide the strongest, most appropriate language and well-structured ideas.

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