Hugo
A friend of mine, a brilliant young person who was just starting to make his way to a successful career, recently passed away without a clue of the cause of death. Overwhelmed with sadness and grief, relatives and friends were unable to accept the news and the questions of why and how this happened kept being asked.
A memorial gathering was held about 10 days after his death. Because of my special relationship with him, I was asked to do a little sharing during the memorial. I thought about what I should say, as relatives and friends were all going through their grief trajectory, though each at a different stage and in a different way: 'shock', 'denial', 'pain', 'anger', 'depression' and 'hope'. I decided to refrain from focusing on my own recollection of the memories and times that we had with this brilliant person. I was hoping to expedite the transition of our grief stage, and I asked why we should keep asking why and be stuck in the denial-depression stages.
Just a while ago, I saw Martin Scorsese's film 'HUGO' which is about the adventure of a boy who lived in a Paris train station maintaining all the clocks in the station. In the movie, Hugo in front of a dramatic mechanical clock said: "I like to imagine that the world is one big machine. You know, machines never have any extra parts. They have the exact number and types of parts they need. So I figure if the entire world is a big machine, I have to be here for some reason, too." This sounds like the same old teaching that our parish priest would use to comfort us whenever we run into a problem that does not seem to have an answer---it's God's will. But I think this is still an effective answer, which seems to be universally applicable and works better for those who have faith. At times of sorrow and sadness, if we can lean on our faith, the grief stage will soon arrive at the final stop! Some people may look at it as an alternative form of cure that religious belief provides to give people's strength at times of sorrow and grief. I did share this impressive quote from Hugo in the memorial gathering and I hope that all the relatives and close friends would grip firmly on their faith that death is part of God's plan or a necessary final episode that ends our role in this world.
March 2012
