Vayetze, וַיֵּצֵא "And He Went Out"  Genesis 28:10-32:3

Vayetzei /  Twelve Tribal Stones

Poetic notes on parashat Vayetzei*

Jacob was alone, 

and the sun was going down

He was wrestling in himself,

with his faith in darkness,

traveling backwards into greater darkness

Without fully realizing it, he was

longing for the spiritual hope and comfort

of Leah and Rachel,

whom as yet he had not met

Out of his longing for them,

he took twelve tribal stones

and placed them all together

like a little temple 

He was as yet unaware

that his soul was tossing and turning

on the very temple site of God

But Jacob did know that we have to

get our sight down below our eyes,

we have to get our sight

into our heart and soul,

we have to existentially feel things,

if we are going to see things 

as deep as the truth  

He laid his head down

on his twelve stones to sleep,

as though he were laying his head

in prayer in the lap of God

He dreamt and the ladder of Temple light

between heaven and earth

appeared before him

The angels of light moved up and down here    

They moved up to help Jacob’s hope

He hoped he would be worthy of his father’s blessing

They moved down

to help comfort Jacob from his dark feelings

that magnified his exile from his home and family

For he felt he had been driven out

through his brother’s evil

God spoke to him there

in the lap of prayer

And slowly, Jacob began to understand God

Jacob shared his feelings with God,

his feelings of dismay and fear

of being abandoned in exile

God assured him

that this place where he slept

with his head upon twelve tribal stones

was the place of God

Jacob, was not being exiled from God

Esau was not controlling his exile

The truth, God was saying to him,

was that He, God, had been exiled

from Adam’s heart

and now from Esau’s heart

And that He, God,

with fierce pain and anger

had searched for Adam’s heart

but had not found it to be whole anywhere

For when Adam’s heart exiled God

it was only Adam that was exiled,

man from woman, woman from man,

one person from another

But God found Abraham’s heart,

found it was available

to be redeemed and made whole

And so God called Abraham

out of Adam's exile

to the place where God would build a house

and make a Home on earth

Abraham heard God's call

and left Adam's exile and went there,

to that place

Still a part of Abraham’s heart

remained in Adam’s exile in Charan

Then Jacob reviewed in his heart and soul

how Abraham had sent his servant back

to retrieve a part of his heart,

a part that he had left behind

And he had retrieved Rebecca,

Jacob’s mother

And Jacob considered how that he

was now himself being sent by God

to retrieve the part of Abraham’s heart

that still remained left behind   

And God said to him

"I will be with you in the exile

And will never leave you,

until I return you to the place where I am,

this place here where you now lay your head"

And Jacob awoke

And he said, "God was in this place

And I did not know it"

And the twelve stones

he had laid beneath his head

had become one stone while he slept

And he set that stone up and anointed it

And he blessed God, saying in his heart,

that this stone was like

the foundation stone of the world

from which is built the House of God

a house of prayer for all of Adam's heart

And when God returned Home with Jacob,

Jacob returned Home with Rachel and Leah

For through Jacob’s labour they were one soul,

the last part of Abraham's heart

that had been in Adam's exile 

Then the angels met him with joy

and helped him through the door

All exile had ended

The years of Jacob's exile labours

had taught him how to build a house of prayer

and he built it there in the lap of God

on twelve tribal stones in one,

the soul of Rachel and Leah that became one

And all of Adam's heart was able to enter there

and be again at Home on earth with God

*Being a meditation on a Torah class on parashah Vayetzei, delivered by Rabbi Baitelman of ChaBaD Richmond, B.C., and on materials from the series, Torah Studies for this parashah, by Rohr Jewish Learning Institute. Neither Rabbi Baitelman nor the JLI have reviewed or approved of the content of this post.