Vayetze, וַיֵּצֵא "And He Went Out"  Genesis 28:10-32:3

Vayetzei /  Twelve Tribal Stones 5783

Poetic notes on parashat Vayetzei*

Jacob was alone, having left Be'er Sheva

The sun was going down to its place among the stars

The dry desert wind of the great Galut was blowing in

Jacob was wrestling in himself about Esau

His faith was entering the glomming darkness

His hope was traveling backwards into still greater darkness

He was longing for another hope and comfort

His soul was longing for

Leah and Rachel, whom he had not yet met

Out of this longing,

he took twelve tribal stones

and placed them all together to make a little temple

He was aware but not yet fully aware

that his soul was tossing and turning

on the very temple site of God,

on the very rock where all creation rested

He did know 

that we have to get our sight down below our eyes

We have to get our sight into our heart and soul,

We have to existentially feel things,

if we are going to see deep, deep things,

if we are going to see things as deep as the truth

Jacob was wrestling with all human presumptions 

and human high-mindedness, 

wrestling them out of his gut and out of his dreams

There is no other way 

to come into the presence of the living God

He laid his head down in prayer on his twelve stones 

wanting to fall deeply asleep,

as though he were laying his head in the lap of God

He dreamt and the ladder of the Temple’s menorah light

appeared before him between heaven and earth 

Angels of that light moved up and down the ladder

They moved up to lift Jacob’s hope

And his hope that he would be worthy of his father’s blessing 

was strengthened in the darkness where his soul slept

They moved down to comfort Jacob from his torn feelings

He was ripped into exile, exile from home, exile from family

He had been torn and driven out by the nihilism

of his brother’s evil

God spoke to Jacob there in the lap of prayer

And slowly, Jacob began to understand God

Jacob shared the feelings of God

God felt Jacob’s feelings of dismay and fear

of being abandoned in exile

Jacob felt the confidence of God’s faith in him

God assured him

that this place where he slept,

with his head upon twelve tribal stones,

was God’s own place

Then Jacob was assured that he was not being exiled from God

He was assured that Esau was not controlling his exile

When Esau was young he was puffed up 

with idealism concealing conceit 

His youthful joy had vanity at its core

He hunted life like his oyster, 

and thought of it’s pearl as his own sense of limitless self

When his plans went wrong, 

Esau found his light was but bright, flashing illusion 

and he was angry and despised all creation 

The truth, God was saying to Jacob by making Esau his twin,

was that He, God, had been exiled from Adam’s heart,

just as he was now exiled from Esau’s heart

God confided in Jacob, that with fierce pain and sorrow’s anger

he had searched for Adam’s heart,

but had not found it to be whole anywhere in heaven or earth

For when Adam’s heart exiled God, it was Adam who was exiled,

man from woman, woman from man, one person from another

Adam exiled the presence of God from his heart,

resulting in Adam’s very being becoming an exiled being

Adam’s nature became the nature of exile

But God found a human heart; God found Abraham’s heart,

found it was available, 

available to be redeemed and made whole

And so God called Abraham out of Adam's exile

to the place where God would build a house

and make a Home on earth

Abraham heard God's call and left Adam's exile and went there,

to that place

Still a part of Abraham’s heart remained in Adam’s exile in Haran

Then Jacob reviewed in his heart and soul

how Abraham had sent his servant back to Haran,

to retrieve a part of his heart,

to retrieve his mother, Rebecca

And Jacob considered how that he, Jacob,

was now himself being sent by God

to retrieve the remaining part of Abraham’s heart

that still remained in the land of his father’s house

And God said to him, "I will be with you in the exile

And will never leave you,

until I return you to the place where I am,

to this place here where you now lay your head"

And Jacob awoke

And he said, "God was in this place and I did not know it"

And the twelve stones he had laid beneath his head

had become one stone while he slept

And he set that stone up and anointed it

And he blessed God, saying in his heart,

This stone is certainly the foundation stone of the world

from its soul is built the House of God,

a house of prayer for all of Adam's heart

And when God returned Home with Jacob,

Jacob returned Home with Rachel and Leah

For through Jacob’s labour they were one soul,

the last part of Abraham's heart to come to the House of God

The angels met him with joy and helped them through the door

All exile had ended

The years of Jacob and Leah and Rachel’s labours in exile

had taught them how to build a house into a home of prayer

and they built their home in the lap of God

on a foundation of twelve stones in one

For that one stone that Jacob anointed

was one with the stone of God's Mountain

This was the one essence of the soul of Rachel and Leah 

And all of Adam's heart was able to enter there

and return there into one

and be again in prayer at Home with God on the earth