Brighter Days

The clouds were grey and covered the sun, artificial smells wreaked everywhere yet no humans bat an eye. A cat laid on the hood of a dumpster playing with a fresh fish bone between his paw pads from a nearby restaurant. The cat was a grey tabby-cat with black paws, white muzzle and worn out collar that said Hunter. The alleyway Hunter dwelled in was quite small, very little leg room with a dumpster blocking half of it. 

“These humans can’t throw out any good food?” He mewed to himself as he threw the fish bones away. 

“I know, it's all disgusting” Another meow came from the end of the alley. 

Hunter sprang to his paws and hissed “Oh why are you back?” His tail lashed, evidently irritated though he never understood why. A very young brown tabby-cat, barely old enough to be on his own, barreled down the alleyway before trying to leap onto the hood of the dumpster. He failed and ran straight into it.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Happi? Get away from me!” Hunter hissed, his tone now carrying hostility. Happi, who was now scrambling his hind paws to find stability to surface his obstacle, the dumpster. 

“I don’t know” he mewed trying to put up a nonchalant facade while he is scrambling to get on top. 

Hunter growled before jumping off the dumpster as soon as Happi got on top. 

“I just want to help” Happi mewed with his tail wagging

Hunter's left ear twitched dismissively as he walked off trying to ignore the nuisance. Moments later a loud crash can be heard from the alley with Happi yelping.

Hunter turned around and peered at Happi who was tumbling into oncoming traffic. Hunter’s heart started to pound, blood pumping to his ears and the cars getting louder. He sprinted forward and grabbed Happi out of the road and threw him on the sidewalk before gazing out at the cars that would have killed Happi if it wasn’t for him.

“Don’t ever talk to me again” Hunter mewed quietly but full of hostility and regret. Happi stared at him dumbfounded with his tail drooping, processing what just happened. Hunter scoffed at Happi’s dumbfounded look, “You're not even mine anyways” he hissed under his breath.

Cars zoomed past, though no one cared about a cat. Every building looks the same, grey and black windows that haven’t been cleaned since they’ve been built. Hunter finds another alleyway, this one guarded by a fence, though he just slips under it from a hole that’s never going to be replaced. In the center of the alley is a box and a red collar with the words “Rose.” A picture sits with a shattered glass and frame, though you can just barely see a cream colored cat wearing the collar.

Hunter sat down in silence curling his tail of his forepaws while in front of the box. Cars zoomed past yet they felt silent to Hunter. 

“He’s just like we wanted,” Hunter quietly mewed, before fixing the box to the best of his abilities. More time passes by as Hunter sits and stares, “And I hate him for that.” Tears begin to swell. “I mean all you wanted was one, yet I was scared. I thought I had more time. Brighter days were ahead I swear…” He begins to sob “...I’m sorry, you won’t ever get to see what it's like to be a mother because of me. Why? Why?” He continues saying the word why? Over and over again, each time making less and less sense. 

“I don’t know why? Why did you have to…? Why do I push him away? Why can’t life just be normal for me again? Why can’t life be like it was, like when I first got this collar? Why can’t I go back to that damn shelter where I met you? Why do I still live? It’s never ending, a cycle of suffering. I survive but for what purpose?” Hunter closes his eyes and paces trying to shake his thoughts. “No you're not dead, I swear, you're with me. You’re next to me, and we’ll be laughing again. You're not dead” He opens his eyes and stares next to him. Nothing. His breathing becomes heavy and his tail swishes more furiously “Why did you have to sacrifice yourself for someone else? If it wasn’t for that decision I’d still have you why did you have to be so stupid!” He looks up to the grey sky hoping to see something. “Please I beg of you take me instead, I’ll give you anything, just please don't have her walk among the stars.” He begs and pleads yet nothing shows. His breath slows and his mind thinks of one solution “I have no reason to live without you. I need to be with you, among the stars where we can play forever. I’ll join you, yeah that’s what i’ll do.” He stares up, tears still streaming but he’s quiet “I’ll join you” he repeats to himself.

“Hunter?” A familiar voice whispered from his side, it was calm and melancholy. “Don’t do it, I don’t think anyone wants that” Hunter slowly turns to his side gazing at this mysterious voice.

“Happi?” Hunter mewed weakly.

Happi rested the tip of his tail on Hunter’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. You’re not alone, there are brighter days ahead.” Happi nuzzle Hunters cheek “I forgive you”

Hunter stares, tears falling. “You’re the reason to…” he mews before smothering Happi like a father would. 

“I’m sorry” Hunter mews “Maybe there is life still worth living for.”

A faint whisper spoke, “Take care of him and yourself, for me” though neither of them heard.

Suicide helpline: 988