The Restricted Section is Porn

Since there are so many different roles, lyrics are first presented all together, then in a columnar format.

HERMIONE, spoken:
Finally, I get to go to the Restricted Section all by myself!
And I'm gonna read something relevant
Something important;
In the Restricted Section!

HERMIONE: The Restricted Section is really really great

RON: For porn

HERMIONE: I’m a student in sixth year so I don't have to wait

RON: For porn

HERMIONE: What? There's always some new book

RON: For porn!

HERMIONE: To teach all those who look

RON: For porn!

HERMIONE: In this quest for knowledge we undertook

RON: For porn!

HERMIONE: Ron!

RON: The Restricted Section is porn

HERMIONE: Ron!

RON: The Restricted Section is porn

HERMIONE: What are you doing!?

RON:

Why boys come here when forlorn?
Porn porn porn

HERMIONE: Ron!

RON: Oh! Hello, Hermione

HERMIONE: You are ruining my study time

RON: Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to

HERMIONE:
Well, if you wouldn't mind, please
Being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

RON: Okie Dokie

HERMIONE: Good! I'm glad we now don’t need permission slips

RON: For porn- oh!

HERMIONE: Ugh.  To access forbidden tomes and scripts

RON: For porn— Oops, sorry

HERMIONE: No more need to conspire

RON: For—

HERMIONE:

No permission we’ll require
To fulfill all students’ most fervent desire

RON: For porn!

HERMIONE: Ron!

RON: The Restricted Section is porn

HERMIONE: Noooo

RON: The Restricted Section is porn

HERMIONE: Ron

RON: I’m up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

HERMIONE: That's gross! You're a pervert

RON: Ah, sticks and stones, Hermione

HERMIONE:
No, really, you're a pervert
Normal wizards don't sit over here reading ‘bout porn in the library

RON: Ohhhh?

HERMIONE: What?!

RON:
You have no idea
Ready, normal wizards?

NEVILLE: Ready!

DEAN: Ready!

SEAMUS: Ready!

RON: Lemme hear it!

RON AND GUYS: The Restricted Section is porn!

HARRY: Sorry, mate

RON AND GUYS: The Restricted Section is porn!

HARRY: I masturbate!

RON AND GUYS:

All these mages flip the pages
For porn, porn, porn!

HERMIONE: The library is not for porn!

RON AND GUYS: Porn, porn—

HERMIONE: Hold on a second!

RON: Wha-

HERMIONE: Now I happen to know for a fact that you, Neville, were reading about Venomous Tentacula here.

NEVILLE: That' s correct

HERMIONE: And Seamus, you researched dementors here

SEAMUS: Sure!

HERMIONE: And Dean, you keep studying wizarding portraits

DEAN: Yes I do!

HERMIONE: And Harry, you snuck in here to look up Nick Flamel

HARRY: True!

RON: Oh, but ‘Mione, what you think he do... after? Hmm?

HARRY: Yeah

HERMIONE: Ewww!

RON AND GUYS: The Restricted Section is porn!

HERMIONE: Gross!

RON AND GUYS: The Restricted Section is porn!

HERMIONE: I hate porn

RON AND GUYS:

Grab your dick and swish and flick
For porn, porn porn

HERMIONE: I hate men!

RON AND GUYS: Porn

HERMIONE: I' m leaving!

RON AND GUYS: Porn

HERMIONE: I hate the library!

RON: The Restricted Section,

RON AND SOME GUYS: Restricted Section

RON AND ALL GUYS: Restricted Section is porn!

RON: Yeah!