Hogwarts Teachers Are Hot

Hogwarts teachers are hot

There can be no doubt

They’re mad good-looking

Y’know what I’m talking about

Snape’s swooshing like a bat all over the place

He’s handsome if you don’t look at his face

He’s menacing, vindictive, cruel, and bad

And just so sexy when he gets mad

Quirrell has Voldemort in the back of his head

But I still want to get in his bed

A guy wearing a turban is just so hot

Who cares if his soul is his own or not?

Even Professor Flitwick is super-cute

I want private lessons to “study for my NEWT”

And one of these nights, I’m gonna pounce

He may be short, but not where it counts!

Hogwarts teachers are hot

There can be no doubt

They’re mad good-looking

Y’know what I’m talking about

Gilderoy Lockhart has gorgeous hair

Even if there’s no brain under there

Five time winner of most charming smile

I’d like to just gaze at him for a while

Firenze is mysterious, his classroom is dim

But I would rather like to burn herbs with him

My most important question is, of course,

Whether or not he’s hung like a horse

Lupin is tortured, but so damn fine

If he’s anyone’s werewolf, he should be mine

I’m a hot seventh year, and I’m on the prowl

For a rugged professor who’ll make me howl

Hogwarts teachers are hot

There can be no doubt

They’re mad good-looking

Y’know what I’m talking about

For Snape I’ll mix a perfect potion

Just to show him my devotion

For Quirrell I’ll fight off a vampire

Just to show him my desire

For Flitwick I’ll perform a charm

To show him I mean no harm

For Lockhart I’ll read his book

And give him a flirtatious look

For Firenze I’ll gaze into a crystal ball

To show I want him, hooves and all

For Lupin I’ll find a boggart to fight

Just to be with him the entire night

Hogwarts teachers are hot

There can be no doubt

They’re mad good-looking

Y’know what I’m talking about

So to all you hot professors, I do beseech

Let’s have private lessons, there’s so much you could teach

And I am so very eager to learn

And show you some things of my own, in turn

It really shouldn’t be a surprise

That I want all these older guys

Potions, Charms, Divination, Defense Against Dark Arts

Those classes are so much fun here at Hogwarts