Ron's Hissy Fit
(Spoken) Settle in folks, it’s storytime!
There’s a Trio
Of three wizards
Just happens to include me
Poor Ron Weasley
Needs some dinner
But the witch won’t cook for me
I pass my time by whining
And asking where to go
As weeks go by I wait and wait…
As weeks go by… Uh oh
A torturous existence! I don’t enjoy this part!
Ministry wants us dead?
Thousand Galleons for my head?
But in the end Hermione will no doubt save the day
Harry will kill You-Know-Who, there’s gotta be a way!
So I know, clues’ll appear
Cause Dumbledore left me a tool
A Deluminator that steals all the light
From the night!
Won’t let ‘Mione read
I’m acting like a fool!
It won’t take long now, to find soul bits!
Or I’ll throw a hissy fit.
I wanna leave today
I wanna leave todaaay
(Spoken) Oh here's the good part! It's classic!
I splinch myself
I’m in a coma
Hermione takes care of me.
I lost my nails
And some flesh
She rubs me with dittany
Blah blah blah, Gregorovitch
Boring boring, news from Dean
Filler filler, been there, heard that!
There’s three goblins on the scene.
Skip ahead, skip ahead…
But in the end the sword isn’t much of a start
I yell some things at Harry
And break Hermione’s heart!
How do I know, clues’ll appear?
Harry seems really clueless!
He doesn’t have a family
My anger grows
I propose,
”Hermione,
choose me over your friend!”
Our romance here is clearly fate!
Let’s not wait…until Book 8.
I’m leaving today.
I’m leaving todaaay!
I’m so sorry!
Really sorry!
Will you ever forgive me?
I returned, a ball of light
Led me to Hermione
The Final Battle better get here
With Horcruxes in seconds flat
No one cares for a camping trip
But at least I won’t get fat
Cut the Snatchers, cut the camping
Cut Beedle’s fairytale
Cut the peril and the pitfalls
Cut the plan that’s bound to fail
Cut the dragons, cut the curses
Keep Hermione’s magic purses
And cut the starving, the starving, the starving, the starving
The STARVING!
But I know, clues’ll appear
Though I seem a bit unstable
And I’m a whiny bitch as well
Hermione won’t mind!
I’m a find! I’m a catch!
And I know Beedle’s fable!
It won’t take long now, to find soul bits!
Or I’ll throw a…
Are you there ‘Mione?
It’s me, Ronald…
It’s me, Ronald!
Now I know, clues’ll appear
Cause Dumbledore left me a tool
A Deluminator that steals all the light
From the night!
Won’t let ‘Mione read
I’m acting like a fool!
It won’t take long now, to find soul bits!
Or I’ll throw a hissy fit
Or I’ll throw a huge hissy fit
Or I’ll throw the hugest biggest hissy fit.
The battle’s today!
The battle’s today!
The battle’s today!
The battle’s today!
The battle’s today!
The battle’s today!
The battle’s todaaaaay!