Fathering Matters
08 January 2010
FAMILY TYPES
Although every family is unique, there are significant similarities between all families, there are three characteristic types or patterns that are observable: Autocratic, Permissive and Nurturing family types.
The Autocratic Family
This is where one or both parents rule the family with absolute authority. Here the parenting style is rigid, domineering allowing very little freedom or responsibility for the children. Children are pressured to fit into a mould determined by parent(s) with punishment and rewards. Such children struggle to think, feel, believe, and even dream independently outside their parent’s wishes. As a result, the children have serious difficulties establishing their independent self-identities as they grow up. Rules in autocratic families tend to the inflexible, inappropriate, and rigidly enforced. Unquestioning obedience rather than healthy development is fostered. Such children tend to have weak self-ego, co-dependent on others, emotionally delicate and indecisive.
The Permissive Family
Permissive families reject the harsh and uncompromising stance of autocratic parenting styles, preferring not to accept responsibility for creating a mould for the children to conform. Instead they are encouraged to chart their own course and do their own thing. Little emphases are given to family order and routine. Consequently few boundaries are drawn leading to inconsistencies in family relationships and loose family ties. As a result the children are confused leading to their insecurity and poor socialization abilities. Whereas autocratic families have too much control and too little freedom, permissive families have too much freedom and too little control. This can be a very confusing environment for child.
The Nurturing Family
Nurturing families place a high value on freedom, equality, and responsibility. The primary focus is on meeting individual needs of all family members and promoting their personal growth and development. Family rules in nurturing families are both flexible and appropriate as they are consistently maintained. Personal freedom is encouraged but with limits to proper consideration for others. This builds healthy ego boundaries and socialization skills amongst the members.
Family types are not static but dynamic. At any given moment a family might assume a structure that includes the characteristics of one or more of the 3 family types ensuring that family rules mirror the typical changes in the family structure and according to the developmental stages in their children's lives.
By Philip Change for the Centre for Fathering
Reflection pointers for fathers ...
Action pointers for fathers ...
What's happening at CFF ...
Centre for Fathering is celebrating our 10th Anniversary this year. We are grateful for your support in our movement and we are looking to expand our reach to meet more people that believe in getting father’s more involved in their children’s life.
CFF has evolved over the years and have found the obvious truth that the majority of fathers are at their workplaces. We are calling our readers to highlight our services, target our website to them or forward this e-mail to them. We will be more than willing to make a trip to the company to present out services if needed.
Check out our website at www.fathers.com.sg. Thank you.