Fathering Matters
19 Feb 2010
Fathers As Coach (3) – A useful paradigm for parenting Teens
The third foundation for coaching our teens is that as fathers we need to be available and approachable. You would notice that teenagers spend less and less time with their parents. Some even do not want to be seen with their parents! Friends become more important for them. The amount of school work also takes their time away.
This makes it all the more crucial for fathers to be available whenever our teens need us or want to connect with them. That does not mean we are at their beck and call. There are boundaries our teens need to observe. At the same time, if we are never available, it will be hard to develop a comfortable relationship where fathers can be in a coaching relationship with their teens.
Many of the “teachable moments” are not planned and cannot be planned. It just happened! The more available you are, the more likely those special moments occur when you still can be an influence to your teens. So when your teens are ready to connect, drop what you are doing, and spend that few minutes to listen to what he or she has to say .
Being available is good. Being approachable makes it better! Can your teen come to you confidently knowing how you will receive him? Does your teen enjoy talking, relating and spending time with you? If your answer is yes, you are an available and approachable father. That comes with how you value and view your teens. If you value them you would make time for them – no matter how inconvenient it is . If you view them as people with rich gifts and potential beyond their problems, you will stay open to connect with them in a warm and welcoming way.
The next time your teen needs you – remember they are more valuable than your work. It might just be the next coaching moment!
Edwin Choy
Co-founder & Director, Centre for Fathering
Certified Solution Focus Therapist
This article was first broadcast on 'Parenting Today' on 938Live, a station of MediaCorp Radio".
Edwin would like to hear your personal experiences in coaching your teens to help him improve his training workshop for fathers on coaching. Please email him at edwin@fathers.com.sg
Reflection pointers for fathers ...
Action pointers for fathers ...
Bring your children to the bank to deposit some of their ang pao money into their account or start an account for them with that money. Instill a habit of saving in their life.
Next week's Article:
Fathers as coach (4)
What's happening at CFF ...
1. Father-Child Bonding Camp - June 4 - 5, 2010
Our June Camp is open for registration now. Encounter the bonding experience of a lifetime to build a strong connection and relationship with your child.
http://www.fatheringmatters.com/dpl/node/25
2. Cycling
A father-child bonding time of cycling and learning techniques of bike handling in the beginners workshop. This will be an adventure set at Pulau Ubin in partnership with YMCA. Mark it in your calendar now.
Date: 14 March 2010
Fee: $80 per father child pair
Registration details will be announced next week.
3. Centre for Fathering is celebrating our 10th Anniversary this year. We are grateful for your support in our movement and we are looking to expand our reach to meet more people that believe in getting fathers more involved in their children’s life.
CFF has evolved over the years and have found the obvious truth that the majority of fathers are at their workplaces. We are calling our readers to highlight our services, target our website to their contacts or forward this e-mail to them. We will be more than willing to make a trip to your company to present our services if needed.
If you find this e-mail helpful, please forward it to others who are interested. To subscribe or unsubscribe Fathering Matters, please send us an email at fatheringmatters@fathers.com.sg or check out our website at www.fathers.com.sg. Thank you.