Dads for Life Conference Sharing by PTA member (June 2011)

Ticket @ S$10.00 per person inclusive of buffet lunch (halal and non-halal) with good food and generous portion, desserts, coffee & tea and goodie bag for each participant. The conference turns out to be very enriching. I learnt the importance of being a father and many fathering tips. The whole conference was very well organized and entertaining - Money & Time well spend. It is indeed worth the while.

With GESS-PTA’s encouragement, I went for the Dads for Life Conference 2011. Out of my expectation, this conference was not just like any other conference which at times can be very boring. Instead, the participants were overwhelming and everyone was mingling well with each other and sharing their fatherhood experiences.

The stage was well setup with huge panel deployed on both sides of the center stage to ensure good views for all participants. The MC for this event was Brian Richmond and with his charisma, he managed to capture the attention of the participants throughout the whole event.

Dr. Ken Canfield is the featured speaker for the event. With his decades of experiences studying, developing and researching on strengthening families and fathers. He headed the National Center for Fathering (USA) for 16 years, director/co-founder of International Family Center and has been a founding member of several organizations delicate to strengthening families and fathers. He has authored several award-winning books such as ‘7 Secrets of Effective Fathers’ & ‘The Heart of a Father’. Together with his wife, Dee of 35 years, they have five children and 6 grandchildren.

Dr. Ken Canfield shared his knowledge, experiences and researched data that fathers are involved and attached to their children, impact the life and future of their children. It is foundational, restorative and yields lifelong benefits to both child and father. Dr. Ken Canfield presented some studies & researches suggested that Children with involved and attached Fathers are:

· Healthy attachment behaviors by fathers have positive early childhood outcome.

· Children who feel closeness to their father are twice as likely to enter college or find stable employment after high school.

· 75% less likely to have teen birth.

· 80% less likely to spend time in jail.

· Half less likely to experience depression.

· Have increased cognitive competence.

· Have more confidence and empathy.

· Are less susceptible to peer pressure.

· Higher measure of self esteem.

· More secure in their gender identity.

· Stronger self-concept.

· Greater problem solving skills.

Dr. Ken Canfield provided some simple test for fathers to learn more about themselves. Which categories or groups of fathers they belong to. This test linked them back as to how their own father brought them up to adulthood and the impact. It also let us knows what type of father we are and our strength and shortcoming so that we can improve. It is indeed very good and simple test to find out what we are lacking as a father.

A live local panel of fathers include Brian Richmond, Mark Richmond, Sheikh Haikel, R Chandran and Norman Kee (48 yrs has 3 sons with autism spectrum disorders of different degrees) together with Dr. Ken Canfield, shared their experiences and skills to show us their commitment and attentiveness towards their children. It is a wonderful and entertaining session where we learnt much from these committed fathers and how they impact good healthy growth and morals on their children. We are also entertained by our local Band - Budak Pantai where all members are fathers too, they are good, entertaining and hilarious.

Being a father, besides providing and discipline children, there is more to it that can make a difference to your children and yourself. It is the perception that most of us know about fathering as we inherited from our father. And now from this conference, I have pick up the I-CAN’s father….

I – Involvement.

C – Consistency.

A – Awareness.

N – Nurturance.

So Father, you work hard to build a career and a home with everything you can provide (except time, involvement, love etc). Your time spent focusing always on works and always forgetting or neglecting your family. One day your worklife will stop or when you retire. You may feel your life is redundant cos you are left with nothing to hold on or focus on any longer. Your job as father is life-long and will transform you from a father to a grandfather with joys, satisfaction, accomplishment and companion for your golden years. So start now and get involve with your children and be an I-CAN’s father.

As much as this conference benefits me, I strongly appeal to you that you participate the next Dads for Life Conference in 2012, encourage your wife to join you and both will benefit in parenting your child. It is very rewarding. You may recommend it to your organization as some organizations support this event by sponsoring and giving time off for their employees…..

Dennis Chan (GESS PTA member)