Apocalypse Lawn Gnomes of Revelry

Gartov Glass-Eye

Male gnome cleric of Curchanus 1 | Chaotic Good

Init +0; Senses low-light vision; Perception +4

 DEFENSE

AC 15, touch 11, flat-footed 15 (+1 size, +4 chain shirt)

hp 11 (1d8 +3 con)

Fort +5 | Ref +0 | Will +4

 OFFENSE

Speed 40 ft.

Melee Boar Spear +3 (1d6+3)

Ranged light crossbow -1 (1d6)

 STATISTICS

Str 14, Dex 10, Con 16, Int 14, Wis 14, Cha 12

Base Atk +0; CMB +?; CMD ?(too lazy to look it up right now)

Feats Run, Fleet (x2)

Flaw One-Eyed

Traits Devotee of a Dead God, First Memories

Skills: (1 rank in each) Craft (weaponsmith) +8, Heal +6, Knowledge (nature) +6, Knowledge (religion) +7, Profession (miner) +6

Racial Modifiers A bunch.

Obsessive: weaponsmith

Domains: Animal, Travel

Spells for the day: 0 lvl - create water, light, stabilize

1st lvl - Bless, Dream Feast and Longstrider

Languages Common, Draconic, Giant, Gnome, and Sylvan

Equipment: wooden holy symbol, winter clothes, snow shoes, a brown fur-lined hooded cloak, chain shirt, light crossbow, case with 10 crossbow bolts, boar spear, dagger, backpack with 2 weeks trail rations, 50 rope, a healer's kit, waterskin, winter blanket.

Background Gartov claims to be a cleric of a dead god yet he is granted all the abilities of a normal cleric. Those who study religion aren't quite sure what to make of this, but one thing is certain, his faith is true. Gartov is the castles weaponsmith, traveling far and wide to procure whatever ores the castle needs. Being able to talk to the horses helps.

When not traveling he can be found hammering away at a forge.

He is not sure why his god led him this far north but for the time being he is content to limit his travels.

Krolmgolam (Krol One-Day)

Male arctic gnome sorcerer 2 | Chaotic Neutral

Init -4; Senses low-light vision; Perception +2

 DEFENSE

AC 14, touch 14, flat-footed 12 (+1 size, +2 dex, +1 combat exp)

hp 16 (2d6+4 con)

Fort +1 | Ref -1 | Will +3

 OFFENSE

Speed 20 ft.

Melee grandfather's musket with bayonet +2 (1d6, crit x3)

grandfather's bayonet +2 (1d3, crit 19–20/x2)

Ranged grandfather's musket +6 (2d4+1, crit x3) (heirloom weapon)

 STATISTICS

Str 8, Dex 14, Con 13, Int 13, Wis 10, Cha 20

Base Atk +1; CMB +?; CMD ?(too lazy to look it up right now)

Feats Combat Expertise, Exotic Weapon Proficiency (firearm), Rapid Reload (musket)

Flaw Bookwyrm (-6 Initiative checks and a -3 to Reflex saves)

Traits Heirloom Weapon, threatening defender

Skills: (2 ranks in each) Bluff +10, Knowledge (arcana) +8, Spellcraft +6, Use Magic Device +10

Alternative Racial Trait: Academician (+2 arcana)

Languages Common, Giant, Gnome, and Sylvan

SQ light sensitivity

Equipment: grandfather's musket, and bayonet (both are +1), slightly burnt polar bearskin robe, old snow goggles, snow shoes, and a backpack containing a bed roll, 2 weeks trail rations, a hammer, 6 pitons, 50' hemp rope, flint/steel tinder.

Appearance: Krol One-Day wears a breechcloth with leather leggings, a buckskin shirt and sealskin moccasins. He has long braids wrapped in fox fur.

Background: Krolmgolam was born the youngest in the litter of six gnomelings. His brothers beat him up all the time. As a result, he would hide from them all the time. An avid reader, he would sit and read for hours, One Day as he searched for a new book to read, he found his uncle's spell book. Being unable to read the magical words made him want to become a wizard.

Krolmgolam was tall, fuzzy and excellent at the game "fetch". One of his most striking features was his huge eyes. His doting mother found it very endearing and lavished much attention on him as did many in the village he grew up in. His father, an avid ice fisherman, would frequently take Krolmgolam with him on the frozen lake near their village teaching him to hunt and fish. Krolmgolam wasn't very adept at either and would frequently need rescuing from animals and from thin ice.

One Day while out hunting alone, Krolmgolam found himself low on crossbow bolts facing an angry young polar bear. After expending his last two bolts, that had no effect on the giant beast, he saw his doom slowly approaching. It was then that he felt a powerful surge of energy well up within him as a jet of fire sprang from his hands and engulf the angry polar bear cub, killing her where she stood. After the realization of what just happened settled in, Krolmgolam looked up to see several villagers and his father standing on a hillside about to attack the now dead polar bear cub, their stunned faces could clearly be seen.

One Day Krolmgolam overheard his cousins telling his father tales of a strange gnomish toy maker who lived in a castle to the north. Eager to try out his new talents, he left his worried father and crying mother behind, his destiny uncertain. Wearing his poorly tanned, burnt, polar bearskin robe, a pair of snow goggles and armed with his grandfathers musket and bayonet, his destiny uncertain.

Tuck Fard the Urinal Gnome

Male amphibious lifespark clockwork gnome fighter 1 | Chaotic Neutral

Init +0; Senses low-light vision; Perception -3

 DEFENSE

AC 22, touch 17, flat-footed 16 (+1 size, +5 natural, +6 dexterity)

hp 11 (1d10 +1 favored class)

Fort +3 | Ref +6 | Will -2

 OFFENSE

Speed 10 ft./swim 20 ft.

Melee pointy stick +7 (1d3+5)

Ranged rock +8 (1d2+5, 19-20) (+1 to hit and damage within 30')

 STATISTICS

Str 20, Dex 22, Con -(11), Int 10, Wis 7, Cha 9

Base Atk +1; CMB +?; CMD ?(too lazy to look it up right now)

Feats Crossbow Mastery, Point-Blank Shot, Rapid Reload, Rapid Shot.

Flaw Fucktard (-6 penalty to Initiative and -3 to Perception checks)

Traits Freed Slave, Pond Fighter 

Skills: (1 rank in each) Profession (fish pond maintenance dude) +4, Swim +9

Racial Modifiers A bunch, see all the gnome crap on the right.

Languages Common, Gnome, and Sylvan

SQ look to the right --->

Equipment: pointy stick and a rock.

Background Tuck Fard was created to take care of the toy maker's giant fish and maintain their pond for 8 hours a night and he would stand motionless under the fountain during the day. But when left unattended and unwound for a century he somehow became aware although still unable to move. He watched the courtyard slowly crumble into the ruins they are today until orcs set him into the urinal for target practice, then animals marked him, then the occasional adventurers also found it amusing to relieve themselves on him, the raiders and bandits who camped here did as well, he stood there for over a century.

He once had a brief love affair with a Gelatinous Sewer Goblin but she dumped him after a week long tirade on how she was the only one putting any effort into the relationship.

Appearance: Tuck Fard looks like a brown gnome with bulging fish eyes spaced too far apart and reeks faintly of urine since he soaked in it for a few decades. The hairs of his thin mustache and goatee look like catfish feelers.

Ice Chunk (real name - Grobnar Cramfizzle)

Male arctic gnome fighter (favored class)/acrobat (rogue archetype)  1/1 | Chaotic Good

Init +0; Senses low-light vision; Perception +2

 DEFENSE

AC 18, touch 14 (+1 size, +1 dodge, +2 dex), flat-footed 15 (+1 size, +4 hide shirt crudely crafted from the hide & bones of caribou & arctic foxes)

hp: 17 (1d10 +3 con + 3 toughness + 1 favored class) +1d8+3 (for 2nd level)

Fort +5 | Ref +2 | Will +0

 OFFENSE

Speed: 20 ft. (with magical snowshoes = 30 ft. on level ground, 15 ft. uphill, 45 ft. downhill)

Melee: Earth Breaker +4 (1d10+2, crit x3) and well-sharpened, walrus tusk dagger +4 (1d3+3, crit 19-20, x2) that's a +1 animal bane (+2 to hit & +2d6 to dmg. animals)

Ranged: 2 Harpoons +0 (1d6+2, range 20', crit x3)

Special: Sneak Attack +1d6

 STATISTICS

Str 15, Dex 14, Con 16, Int 13, Wis 10, Cha 11

Base Atk +1; CMB +3 (+1 BAB +2 STR -1 size); CMD 14 (10 + 2 STR + 2 DEX -1 size +1 dodge)

Feats: Toughness, Combat Reflexes, Weapon Focus (Earth Breaker), Dodge

Flaw: One-Eyed

Traits: Devotee of a Dead God (Curchanus), Collector (+2 disable device)

Talent: Affinity With Skill (+4 bonus to climb skill)

Obsessive: Fisherman

Skills (1 rank unless noted):  Climb(2) +11, Profession (fisherman) +6, Survival (arctic) +4, Disable Device(2) +9  while always utilizing Ice Chunk's "collection" (see below), Acrobatics(2) +7, Stealth(2) +7, Swim +5, Use Magic Device +4

Special (skills): as an Acrobat, in light armor, no AC penalty for the following skills - acrobatics, climb, fly, sleight-of-hand & stealth; no armor = + 2 to acrobatics & fly checks 

Racial Modifiers: as per a Gnome (with arctic template)

Languages: Common, Gnome, Sylvan, Giant

Saves: Arctic creatures take only half damage from any cold damage dealt to them, and suffer a –2 penalty to saving throws against fire damage and spells with the [fire] descriptor. They gain a +5 bonus to Fortitude saves from natural cold dangers, the DC of their Fortitude saves against natural cold dangers does not increase (it's always DC 15), and they are treated as if wearing cold weather gear. Arctic creatures suffer a –2 penalty to all Fortitude saves against natural heat dangers.

Skills: Arctic creatures are generally white, and thus receive a +5 bonus to Stealth checks in snowy conditions but receive a –5 penalty to Stealth checks made in areas that are not snowy.

Appearance:  (3'7", 43 pounds, 52 years old) A somewhat young, athletic gnome with white skin and a vaguely bluish, unkempt beard.  Though merely wearing an explorer's outfit, he seems reasonably comfortable even in brutally cold weather.  While adventuring, crudely crafted armor encases his toro with awkwardly shaped hunks of caribou hide and arctic fox bones.  Two harpoons are along his back on each side of his somewhat full backpack with fishing gear evident along the outside of the backpack itself.  A massive blood-stained hammer with multiple blunt spikes is seen holstered as well.  His left eye is permanently covered in scars and obviously useless.  His thinly muscular arms hang awkwardly, particularly around the elbows.  A holy symbol appears on a necklace around his neck.  A light smile usually crosses his relaxed yet strangely intense face.

The (Gnome) Collector: You have a small, bizarre collection of apparently worthless items, such as rusty nails, animal droppings, clockwork cogs, or bent spoons. You find this strange menagerie useful in ways no non-gnome could understand. Seeking new items to add to this collection is endlessly fascinating to you, and while no one else may understand why a Chelish horsenail is worthy to add to your collection when a dwarven wheelbarrow nail is not, it all makes sense to you.

What is in Ice Chunk's "collection"?  Glad you asked...... 14 nails of snow wolves (right hind leg only), 3 bell clappers made of bronze, 7 soap caltrips, a chunk of grey hair from a halfling's wig, a broken compass with the N & E switched, 6 tiny rusted pitons used by arctic pixies (Gremlin Bell), and 3 pinches of diseased seal dung.  NOTE - a very light, unusual stench is revealed each time the tightly-closed collection sack is opened for use.

Equipment: backpack, wooden holy symbol of Curchanus, explorer's outfit, Snowshoes of Skating, snow cleats, 50' hemp rope, flint & steel, waterskin, fishing tackle (+1 survival check to catch fish), 6 fishing hooks, compass, grappling hook, 2 iron spikes, set of crampons, small ice axe/pick, waterproof hooded lantern, 4 pints of oil

Background: Born into a cruelly unforgiving landscape of frigidity, Grobnar Cramfizzle was given his lifelong nickname by his good-natured, gnomish father upon his birth in the unusually brutal conditions.  "He looks blue.... just like a little Ice Chunk."  Barely surviving the fevers and hypothermia, Ice Chunk came into this world ready to explore.  Perpetually curious, the arctic gnome lived in what seemed to be an endless playground of snow and ice with so many animals and creatures abound.  Originally motivated by his maternal grandfather, Ice Chunk's love of going fishing and dreams of whaling turned into an obsession.  Patient and intelligent, he loved the smell of aquatic creatures of all kinds.  His favorite location to fish was a lake that required intense, death-defying climbing skills up an icy slope and a small glacier.  When still quite small, Ice Chunk's world changed greatly..... a fall during a climb led to the loss of his left eye and two broken elbows as he landed on a stout spread of natural ice spears on the ground.  His obsession with fishing at that same lake still burned, and his climbing ability improved dramatically due to his elbows' healing at odd angles which he managed to adapt into somewhat of a brachiation method vaguely resembling a bearded form of arctic monkeys.    For years and years, Ice Chunk quietly added to a special "collection" of various and sundry items which carried levels of importance to him, and amazingly, this same collection gave insights on mechanisms, traps and locks that others could not comprehend or appreciate.  

One day, barely into young adulthood, Ice Chunk's small hometown was ravaged by a band of three frost giants.  Cruelly calculating in their actions, the frost giants showed a greedy lust for potential treasures while showing no regard for the lives of the innocent, arctic gnomes.  Gone on a lengthy fishing expedition, Ice Chunk only witnessed the three hulking figures lumbering away from the carnage that included his mother and father.  The desire for the use of an incredibly powerful weapon to extract revenge led to Ice Chunk's mastery of the Earth Breaker.  Despite the tragedies and hardships of his environment, Ice Chunk maintained a strong urge to do good, defend the weak and was extraordinarily good-natured, just like his father. 

His curious and adventuresome nature led him to respond to a mysterious request from his elderly, great uncle across the arctic countryside to come live with him in order to act as his bodyguard.  Was everything alright?  He packed his essential gear the following morning, put on his armor and grabbed his weapons. After two days, Ice Chunk encountered a strange looking gnome with oddly colored skin named Gartov, who was camping for the night.  Why wasn't his skin white like every other gnome that Ice Chunk had ever seen?  Discussions led to deeply moving conversations about each other's past, particularly with regards to the god Curchanus.  Ice Chunk had always respected the gods and nature itself, but he was genuinely moved when he learned of the tragically unfair treatment of this mighty deity.  The two gnomes decided that traveling together seemed wise.  Conversation ranged from fishing techniques to weaponsmithing, mining to theological discussions and beyond. 

Survival in the midst of such brutal conditions was challenging, but they journeyed on for days..... then suddenly, a castle!  There were bizarre gnomish creatures all around and ultimately this is where Ice Chunk and Gartov first met the eccentric and nervously friendly gnome that seemingly owned the castle.  He claimed to be a toy maker of sorts and invited us to stay provided that we gave occasional assistance as needed, mostly in the form of our finding and retrieving different types of rare ore.  Some of the gnomes that walked around had to actually be wound up like a clock each and every day, yet some never seemed to move at all.  Ice Chunk found one such near statue-like gnome particularly disturbing and somewhat sickening to be around... he ("it"?)  was in the courtyard and looked like a brown gnome with bulging fish eyes spaced too far apart.  The hairs of his thin mustache and goatee looked like catfish feelers.  

Life at the castle was actually rather pleasant for Ice Chunk and Gartov.  There was a tavern in a nearby village that had an amazingly talented bard with gifts in pantomime and buffoonery.  The wine and ale choices were magnificent, and the tavern openly claimed to be the best in the area -- which it was.  One morning, the two friends travelled the same open road as always to obtain yet more of the rare ore that the toy maker desired.  Once done with the now routine job, Ice Chunk and Gartov camped for the night and set out the following day.  Each gnome described bizarre but pleasant dreams from the night before. 

Then, things turned truly strange.  The cart of ore and the horse pulling it was gone!  Ice Chunk used his strong survival skills to survey the situation and area.  Where was the open road back to the castle??  Thickly overgrown and barely usable by animals, the pathway was apparently no more.  Had a druid gone mad?!  An eerie yet powerful howl is heard in the distance.  They hurried towards the castle and were suddenly attacked by a small group of wolves.  A confused skirmish ensued with the final wolf successfully running away for his life.  They needed a drink!  Ice Chunk pulled out his compass and led the pair toward their favorite tavern.  There was strange, never-before-seen fauna around them as they approached the village area that Ice Chunk knew so well..... or did he?  An large, open area with only a a few foundation stones appearing above the ground.  No sign of life or even a building...... and the well was bone dry.  Looks like this drink was going to be much harder to find than originally thought...... they continued on.

About Gartov and Ice Chunk's deity: Curchanus is a mostly-forgotten god who reigned over beasts, travel, and endurance. While Desna was still a young goddess, she would spend many nights listening to tales of his travels. Their long talks came to a sudden end when the envious goddess Lamashtu led Curchanus into a trap, robbing him of his dominion over beasts. This attack was too much for the god to withstand, and he was killed as a result of the theft. As his final act, he passed on his dominion over travel to Desna, who had always treasured the tales of his journeys.  It is said that this theft caused humans to lose their bond with animals, who thereafter only saw them with suspicion and mistrust

About Gartov and Ice Chunk's deity: Curchanus is a mostly-forgotten god who reigned over beasts, travel, and endurance. While Desna was still a young goddess, she would spend many nights listening to tales of his travels. Their long talks came to a sudden end when the envious goddess Lamashtu led Curchanus into a trap, robbing him of his dominion over beasts. This attack was too much for the god to withstand, and he was killed as a result of the theft. As his final act, he passed on his dominion over travel to Desna, who had always treasured the tales of his journeys.  It is said that this theft caused humans to lose their bond with animals, who thereafter only saw them with suspicion and mistrust

Secret Squirrel (Thronar Rubyson)

Male gnome rogue 1 | Chaotic Good

Init +5; Senses low-light vision; Perception +11

DEFENSE

AC 19, touch 15 (+4 armor (chain shirt)+3 DEX, +1 dodge, +1 size), flat-footed

(+1 size, )

hp: 11 (1d8 +3 con)

Fort + 1| Ref +3 | Will -1

OFFENSE

Speed: 20 ft.

Melee: Short sword +0 1d4+1(1d6SA), dagger +0 1d3+1(1d6SA)

Ranged: Sling +2 1d3+1

STATISTICS

Str 12, Dex 16 , Con 16 , Int 16 , Wis 12 , Cha 10

Base Atk +; CMB +2 (+ BAB +3 Dex -1 size); CMD 15 (10 + 1 STR + 3 DEX -1 size

+1 dodge)

Feats: 4 Sharp senses (+4 perception), Dodge(+1 AC), Combat Expertise, Agile

Maneuvers

Traits: Excitable(+2 init.), trickster(+1 caster lvl illusions)

Talent:

Flaw: Born Under a Bad Sign(-2 all saves)

Skills: 1 rank each: Perception 11, Stealth 11, Disable Device 7, Sleight of

Hand 7, Acrobatics 7, Escape Artist 7, Linguistics 7, Knowledge Dungeoneering 7,

Craft Trapmaking 7, Appraise 7, Climb 5

Racial Modifiers: Gnome

Languages: Common, Gnome, Elf, Draconic, Giant, Fey

Thronar Rubyson was born under a bad sign, not that he would know since both of

his parents and his 6 older siblings died in a house fire shortly after his

birth. No one knows how he survived the fire but he carries the scars to this

day.

Thronar was adopted by a particularly kindly old gemcutter in the gnomish

community where his family died. Thronar thrived under the care of the

gemcutter for nearly 10 years. At this time the senile old gnome died in a fire

in his shop when he forgot to tend the jewelry smelting process properly.

Thronar was playing downstairs and was fortunate enough to be hurried out by a

patron.

After the loss of two caregivers in horrific fires, no one in the small

community was willing to take Thronar into their homes. So into the orphanage

Thronar went. The mistress that ran the orphanage was not particularly cruel.

However, she was particularly greedy and forced all the young gnomes to work to

earn far more than their keep. Thus was Thronar introduced to the life that

would become his, that of a rogue.

Thronar was far better at the sneaking than many of the other children of the

orphanage and he excelled at finding hidden things. The headmistress often

required Thronar to follow wealthy patrons home to find and return whatever

expensive baubles he could obtain. One such trip went terribly wrong. Shortly

after obtaining several extremely valuable pieces of jewelry from the home of a

particularly wealthy patron, Thronar was seized by a small group of hooligans

who tortured the young gnome until he revealed the secrets of the orphanage.

Thinking to recruit Thronar the thieves drug him along to the orphanage, where

they set a fire that burned the home to the ground with the headmistress and

many of the orphans still inside.

They then told Thronar that he would now work for them or he would meet the same

fate as all the other orphans. This terrified Thronar for many years to come,

as he was still very young. And so he served these roughians until he was

nearly an adult, plotting his revenge all the while. For these people were

always cruel to him and everyone else with whom they came in contact. Finally,

Thronar set fire the building these cretins were staying in. While he did set

many traps to prevent their escape, he did not remain behind to ensure the all

burned.

Thronar proceeded to wander into the world only to discover that he knew nothing

of survival in the outside world. Fortunately he met up with some other gnomes

who took him to the Toymaker's castle. Thronar thought a castle seemed like a

good place to live since stone seemed unlikely to burn.

Ad Bass the Cellar Gnome

Male nocturnal lifespark clockwork gnome ranger (trapper) 1 | Chaotic Neutral

Init +5; Senses darkvision 60'; Perception +6 (-2 in bright light)

 DEFENSE

AC 21, touch 16, flat-footed 16 (+1 size, +5 natural, +5 dexterity)

hp 9 (1d10 -1 because he is a pussy)

Fort +0 | Ref +7 | Will +0

 OFFENSE

Speed 20 ft.

Melee pointy stick +7 (1d3+7)

Ranged rock +7 (1d2+5, 19-20) (+1 to hit and damage within 30')

 STATISTICS

Str 20, Dex 20, Con -(11), Int 13, Wis 10, Cha 9

Base Atk +1; CMB +?; CMD ?(too lazy to look it up right now)

Feats Power Attack, Cleave, Furious Focus

Flaw Pussy (-1 hit point per level and -3 to Fortitude saves)

Traits Freed Slave, Vagabond Child

Favored Enemy: Animals

Skills: (1 rank in each) Climb +9, Craft (traps) +6, Disable Device +11, Knowledge (dungeoneering) +5, Knowledge (nature) +5, Stealth +13, Survival +4, Swim +9

Obsessive: craft (traps)

Alternative Racial Trait: Warden of Nature (+2 dodge bonus to AC against aberrations, oozes, and vermin, and a +1 bonus on attack rolls against them because of their special training)

Languages Common, Giant, Gnome, and Sylvan

SQ light sensitivity

Equipment: pointy stick and a rock.

Background: Ad Bass was created to take care of the toy maker's rodent problem in the root cellar but being built on an ancient ruin meant more than rats would show up. When raiders sacked the castle he was returning from the tunnels beneath the cellar and the building above was on fire. Trapped he frantically tried to get out but only succeeded in getting burnt, he lay there motionless for an untold amount of time before suddenly becoming aware. He watched the building above him slowly decay and then stared at the sky for almost 100 years, the sun blinding him each day.

Appearance: Ad Bass looks like a heavily scarred gnome with huge sad eyes, and burnt hands. He is bald with a short red beard and mustache.

A trapper adds 1/2 his ranger level on Perception skill checks made to locate traps and on Disable Device skill checks (minimum +1). A trapper can use Disable Device to disarm magic traps.

A nocturnal creature benefits from a +4 racial bonus to Perception and Stealth checks. When inside or looking into an area of bright light (daylight spell or greater illumination), the nocturnal creature takes a -4 on Perception checks.

Creatures with light sensitivity are dazzled in areas of bright sunlight or within the radius of a daylight spell.