The Life of St. Eggroll

1 The whereabouts of St. Eggroll from the age of 0-9 was unknown. St. Eggroll was found in a cave playing a game called “greenville”. St Christian found him in the cave. St. Christian blurted out, “WOOOW! You smelly boy”.

St. Eggroll got offended by that, and told St. Christian “well you look like a poo toilet’. They said sorry. And St. Christian and Eggroll both took a walk to the nomad. St. Eggroll said, “zoo wee mama, it sure is different out here. And way hotter out here”. Knowing Christian and him being a little funny guy said, “Yea, it's hot cause of m-” Eggroll interrupted him saying, “no, you look like a skibiti toilet, you can't be talking lil bro”. About two hours later, they arrived at the nomad. The nomad liked the eggroll and granted him the name St. Eggroll. St. Eggroll (who I will just refer to as eggroll) became one of the most powerful ones in the Church of the Nomad. 

2 The nomad and eggroll went down jurrey lane to see the muffin man to see if eggroll can get a drink and some food.

The Muffin man said, “oh nomad. What shall I do for you my majesty”. The nomad replied after thinking and said, ‘oh, i'm not getting something for myself, im getting it for a new member of the Church of the Nomad.’. Eggroll and the Nomad soon left the muffin man's shop. And they soon returned to the nomads home address, 420 Burger street, south africa. Even though the nomad doesn't take human form, he still acts like any ordinary human being Eggroll and the Nomad became good friends almost instantly.

The Nomad accepted the eggroll as his child, so he was an orphan (except he wasn't from an orphanage). The Eggroll Was taking a stroll to find the cat pulling cats out of his anus as a magic trick, Eggroll said, “The heck? How do you manage to pull 534 cats out of your booty hole?”.The cat one said, “Honestly, just get good lil bro”.

3 He called the Sacramento COunty police and got him arrested, then she gave Eggroll a study hall pass for whatever reason. Eggroll was confused but he Never showed up to Study hall cuz he didnt feel like doing koolhoot for an hour. Instead, Eggroll was listening to AC/DC while working on divorce papers with his home.

4 Eggroll and the whole gang decided to go to burgeraria to say hey to their new leader, Sir Burgerson. No one liked Sir Burgerson due to him being entitled and smelling like a wet dog who rolled in fecal matter for a few hours and decided to go to a landfill. The Eggroll Didn't want to go near Sir Burgerson, let alone be in the same vicinity of him. All that Sir Burgerson did was play Genshin Impact  and League of Legends all his life. The rest of the gang were talking to him, and cutting up and having fun. But sir eggroll was exploring his house. Admiring all the Wonderful artwork all over the house.

5 Eggroll later got called back to Sir Burgersons main palace where the rest of the gang was. A few hours later, the gang decided to start heading back, Listening to Wanderer by Dion. Which was very fitting for them walking 100~ miles back. They all were jamming out, and having fun. But they got a little too carried off and got lost. With no map and no one for several miles. They soon found the way back about a day later after wandering around.

6 The next day, Eggroll decided to go hiking up Mt. Gyattanu to find uraniums. It was a fairly massive mountain with two round tops (which is where it got its name from). On the way up, Eggroll found Uranium 235 from the rock god gave. He also brought a geiger counter, and the only thing he heard was the bones in his back cracking. It wasn't Uranium 235, it was a regular rock with green goop on it. Which when eggroll threw the rock down the hill, which led to a mine shaft. Eggroll went down the mine shaft and found a mine shaft troll. 

7 The troll stated, “gimme all your gyatt and i will let you pass you sigma rizzler of ohio town livvy dunne”. Instead, Eggroll gave the troll a taste of his own teeth, which means eggroll socked ‘em in the pie hole. Eggroll went down the shaft which had to be abandoned for 200+ years at this point. There were still remains of stuff I can not say so it's not super gorey. He walked down the mine shaft for a few hours at most. There was a lot of toxic stuff in the air, so the eggroll soon fainted.

8  Eggroll awoke in a dream. Realising he has fallen into a coma. He blurted out, “Hello!? Anyone there?!”.

A rustling sound came from the woods, he took off into the field. Hearing the beast behind him getting closer and closer. He soon woke up in another alternate reality. When he was a GTA V character in Los Santos, He was getting chased by Michael De Santa (who is none of the main characters in GTA V). 

9  Eggroll woke up in the cannon's reality, outside of the mine shaft. He bolted to where the gang was, and he said “Nomad! Christian! Andersen! Bryson!. I'm coming back!” There had been a missing person report filed after eggroll had been missing for several days at this point. He arrived at the house and waited for the rest of them to return. They returned later that afternoon, asking Eggroll where he was. Eggroll said “Nowhere much. Just fell asleep” They didn't believe him but they didn't ask any more questions after that.

chivy Converter

1  In the beginning, There was man. Man was Eggroll senior. Eggroll senior was a smelly man. He smelled like bud light beer. He looked like a dumpster. Eggroll senior birthed everyone, including his son, eggroll. Eggroll was a roman catholic. He kissed the pope all day.