Iberians

Catalonia

1 To þee Iberians in Catalonia; why are you persecuting the people of the Nomad? 

2 For we give you dog spice and Nomad milk! 3 Þe who blasphemies against thy Nomad will be sat on by the Eldritch Horse Egg. 4 For if you blasphemy against the Nomad, you will not inherit the kingdom of the Nomad. The Nomad has said that if you blasphemy against him, you will be sent to the bottom of Hades.

The Death of St. Tucker

3 When the elders of the temple left him on read, St. Tucker decided to go to the temple to fix the Church 2 When he got there he saw that there was a mass being held in the temple. So he went into the temple and saw a slay princess[a] preaching about the queer of queers and the gay of gays. 3 St. Tucker then pulled out his holy hand grenade launcher and screamed, "THY WHO SLAYETH; ART THOU GAYETH!!!"[b] and lit up the room with holiness[c]. 4 When the smoke cleared away, St. Tucker saw that everyone in that room had gotten Ned Flanders syndrome. 5 In front, he saw the slay princess' skull split wide open, and inside her torn-apart skull, he saw a girly pop. 6 St. Tucker was deeply disturbed by this and ran away to his boat but to his dismay, the boat was set ablaze. 7 Straightaway came out of the nearby houses where Spanish soldiers armed with knives, pinned down St. Tucker. 8 In court, St. Tucker pleaded guilty and was sent to be executed after the trial. 8 After the trial, St. Tucker was tied against a wall and was skinned alive.

[a] Slay princesses are followers of the Slay Queen mentioned in Prayers of Jerish