Gyattiusel

To the Nomadic Church in Gyattiusel

1 My friends, why have you forsaken the Nomad? He has promised you dogmeat and delivers you from the cat one, but you still forsake him! 2 Is thy faith that weak? Come close to the Nomad and he will take you up as his disciple, but stray far from him and you will suffer greatly. 3 For the Nomad’s love is great for those who have faith in him. 4 For it is written, “The Nomad is always in your midst, a mighty dog eater who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will silence his unbelievers with unnecessary measures; he will exult over you with loud singing and feasting of the flesh of thy rabid dog.” 5 So lift your faith I say! 6 Proclaim the Nomad’s name and take up belief in him, 7 for who knows what measures he will take. 8 If you devote your stomach to Sugar-Free Oreos you will shrivel up and degrade. 9 Must you take Birthday Cake Oreos, you will prosper and flourish; like leaves on a tree, you will thrive.

“Blessèd are those whom the Nomad favors.”

-St. Tucker 

2 The Nomad was, and has, and will be forever unpredictable. 2 His ways are only known to himself and the one who pursues him (St. Christian). 3 We should never expect something of the Nomad, for his ways are quite queer. 4 “What he has done and what we know he is destined to do is what we should question and acknowledge; 5 not the unforeseeable objectives that might not be finalized.” responded St. Tucker.

Parable of the Osprey and Crow

3 My friends, do not be cowardly and hesitant like a crow; 2 as you are dependent on those who are dominant and voguish. 3 Those great in power; when thee falls, thy followers dwindle and are vanquished. 4 Instead, have the jurisdiction of an osprey; strong and perfervid, correcting others’ wrongs and being authoritative. 5 Have the tactfulness and gratefulness of a dove also; being inspiring and knowledgeable.