The Early Life

1 As soon as he was born a light was shined down on the young baby 2 indicating he was going to be a prophet. 3 Growing up as a child his parents knew he couldn’t be harmed. 4  So they took extraordinary care of him, not even letting him swim afraid he would drown. 5 His caretakers were very protective over the young prophet. 6 They wouldn’t let him do almost anything. 7 They wouldn’t even let a wasp near him.  

All the way until college he was a prostitute and he was homeschooled then he went to the College of Chongqing in China. 8 In college he had to take private lessons but even though he had private lessons he still got bullied and even had to fight and kill the young Buddha who some would say has a GIGANTIC GYATT!!!! 9 After the fight he went back to his dorm with a bloody nose his bodyguard saw his bloody nose and immediately then his bodyguard said, “ Bro did that Buddha with gyatt beat you up again, if so ima pop his gyatt!” Then the Bodyguard went to the Buddha and emoted on his body while saying, “ Skibidi Skibidi Skibidi!” 10 In his 4th and final year at Chongqing Jiaotong University his history professor insulted him while he was studying and then at graduation, professor 同性恋者  gave a speech,”今年的这堂课非常精彩，我们很感激有被神召唤的圣克里斯蒂安。这所大学是我的家和安慰的地方，我会说今年的这些学生很奢侈，谢谢大家的到来，这就是我的演讲。” 

11 Next St. Christian gave some sort of hand signal to a rooftop, not many saw it but a few did. Then the professor dropped dead. People ran in every direction including St. Christian to act as if he wasn’t involved. 12 But word got out because the witnesses of the hand signal reported it to the police of Chongqing. He couldn’t go outside without being caught. There was a bounty on his head of 7,210,000 Yuan. 13 He escaped through his window climbing rooftops to get away from the city after an hour of hiding, timing, and climbing he made it to the Yubei District which is like the outskirts of Chongqing. 14 Then he got his friend who also lives in Chongqing to give him a ride to Wuhan, China where he bought a bike for transportation but that would buy him some time from the world getting around China. From Jiang'An (A district in Wuhan) he biked to Huanggang east of Wuhan. 15 Next he got a cab from there to Huangshi. Then he stole a car to drive himself until it ran out of gas. 16 That got him to Nanjing and he got another cab to Shanghai so he could sail away to Japan but on the way to Shanghai they crashed around Wuxi, the driver was fine but the damage done to St. Christian was too much. 17 Then he woke up in the forest not knowing where he was.

Back in Time

2 He brushed himself off and looked around for civilization but all he saw was a forest for miles he headed southwest for days after he traveled for 2 days straight and traveled 40 miles he saw the outskirts of some city on the coast. 2 But this wasn’t like the cities he saw before he saw a tall stone brick wall and was curious. 3 He started heading towards it until he met the gate into the city guards were standing in front saying, 你不得進入!” so Christian turned around and found a place that wasn’t guarded and climbed the wall into the mysterious city. 4  He saw one guard and secretly eliminated him by pulling him over the wall. Then he got onto the top of the wall jumping into the city and landing into a haystack. 5 He snuck into the crowd and asked an elderly man,” 我在哪個城市?” and he replied,” Shanghai.” then Christian said,”謝謝.” and moved along exploring the city until he found a temple and started praying to the Nomad to bless him to a way back. 

5 “Dear Nomad, please bless me to a way back. I'll do anything oh dear Nomad and dear Skibidi toilet for  I ask for safety throughout these troubled times and to saint Andersen that you will bless me with the luck and love of the Nomad Amen.” Then a voice from above says,” You may go back but you have to do things for me. Do you accept ?” Then St. Christian says,” I do accept let me offer a fresh little infant to you for your generosity.” 6 Next St. Christian ran towards the closest orphanage to get a ripe infant to offer on the altar when he got to the orphanage he paid for one infant and brought it to the altar and said, “ this is for you dear Nomad the almighty.” and asked the Nomad,” What is my first task my beloved taskmaster.” 7 The Nomad replied,” go to Nakhon Pathom and eliminate the profit St. Montri. He lives in the southwest part and worships at the temple of the vagabond in the central part of the city he is currently on a mission to the poorer part of the city in the very south near the ocean. Also before you kill him you have to say Skibidi banishes you, and you may depart by boat.” 8 Then Christian replied, "But how do I have no money and no boat?” After that, the Nomad said some famous words,” 9 You shall always trust the Nomad through rough and easy through thick and thin for those who don’t will burn in the realm of the fiery vagabond so trust in me and I will fulfill.” 

Then Christian left the altar and headed towards the docks where he found a boat and a crew saying on the side,” For the beloved St. Christian.” he was in awe and thanked the Nomad. Also at the center was a map with a route to Nakhon Pathom. 10 He asked one of his crew members, "How did you get here?” and he replied,” I got this inward call to this ship and I obeyed.” Then Christian walked to quarter deck and set sail to Nakhon Pathom on the way near Viet Nam he was ambushed by insane villagers who threw spears at them and almost sunk them but they were triumphant and shot a lot of them with the provided bow and arrows. 11 They kept sailing until they met their target and they docked near the poorer area of the city they went through the gates and into the city then Christian heard the Nomad say'' Your target is currently at the temple of the vagabond praising him your tools are on the roof of the sanctuary now depart.” Christian replied “yes might Nomad.`` 12 Then he went to the temple and climbed to the roof and saw a spear and a small but sharp knife and prepared for his first mission.

Ventures to Siam and Bali Dwipa

3 When he saw him walk out of the temple at night when nobody was around he jumped from the roof onto him with his knife and he hit his neck and then before slitting his throat he said '' Skibidi banishes you” Then he slit his throat and ran for shelter to hide. 2 He ran into an inn to seek shelter and to get a place to stay since the profit had some money on him. He used some money to get a bed and sleep through the night peacefully but one thing lay on his mind: the fact that he is becoming an assassin for the Nomad. 3 The next morning he checked out and browsed “in the markets of the city shopping for spices and other things while in the market he saw an elderly man having trouble with his stuff so Christian offered to help and bring his stuff home for him. 4 Once they got to his house Christian saw many pictures of the saint Montri and he asked who it was and the old man said “He’s my son and I'm so proud of him. Anyway, you can place the spices on the table and say "I never caught your name.” Christian replied “My name is Christian” The old man said, “ I’m Chermsak of Laha, and thank you for helping me.” Christian replied” You’re welcome well I’ll be going now bye.” 5 and Christian left the house Wondering when he would find out his son was assassinated. 

He walked back through the market and was almost at a temple where he could pray when he saw worshippers of the Nomad Being tortured and Crucified. 6 Then he decided he’d deal with this so he distracted one guard torturing them then silenced him and then he took down the other one and freed the believers and said: “May the Nomad be with you and bless you.” 7 Then he departed for the temple to pray for the Nomad and he spoke these words,” Dearest Nomad I have Completed your task and even saved some of your followers from death. What is thyne next task my adored taskmaster.” 9 Then the Nomad Replied,” Thy dearest St. Christian may you go to the temple of the Vagabond and burn it to the ground and write in the priest’s blood the Nomad will always win, repent now or burn!” Then St. Christian went to the temple and waited till it was only the priest and he went in and assassinated him and wrote what the Nomad commanded and then set fire to the mainly wood temple with his torch and casually walked out like it was a scene from a movie. 10 Then he sought shelter but was caught and put into exile on the island of Bali Dwipa Where he spent 9 years of his life building a civilization to survive in. 11 He built multiple mud huts and even tried to connect to the outside world which hardly ever worked and if it did it would flop like Skibidi toilet tower defense. He even built roads and a big temple to the Nomad.

12 Then one day he prayed,” Beloved and Merciful Nomad. I pray that I may go back to being your assassin or mercenary as I desire to serve you which I can not on this island. Please have mercy on me and bring me back to Nakhon Pathom In thy dearest name Amen.” 13 Then the Nomad Replied,” I give you grace but if you get caught again and have pride and get cocky you will be punished for pride is the downfall. 14 I give you A ship 2 miles north of here” Then Christian replied,” Thank you oh merciful Nomad!” (His mud hut establishment came to be known as Kubu)

Dear Times in Grahi

4 When he reached the boat he praised the Holy Nomad and set sail for Nakhon Pathom. On his way to the city his ship was hit badly to where they had to land near Grahi, Srivijaya Empire. 2 He wrecked his ship near the broken part of the wall and quickly sneaked in and prayed '' merciful Nomad why have you forsaken me. I pray to Skibidi that he will guide me back to Nakhon Pathom.” there was no reply. 3 He ventured onward into the market and saw a man praying to the vagabond and cursing him for being a follower of the Nomad Christian silenced him for the Nomad has said ‘For those who doubt me burn later but those insult me burn now!’4 so Christian slaughtered the man and scalped him and kept his scalp for decor. The witnesses reported him to guards nearby and he was put on trial for execution by being forced to play Skibidi Toilet Tower Defense until his brain rotted and became brown and decayed. 5 But before he was tied down he kicked the guard and escaped into a warehouse near the port.

Then he hid in a crate so guards wouldn’t find him but from the heat inside the crate he passed out and when he woke up he heard the ocean meaning he was packaged and put onto a ship but he had no clue where he would be so he started banging on the crate. 5 He tried this for hours until one crew member opened the crate because he heard the banging. When he opened it he was immediately punched and knocked out. Then he was thrown overboard. 6 Next he raided the crates for tools and maybe weapons but only found a mace. He slowly but surely took out most of the crew besides the captain and his personal guard. First, he took out the captain and then took out his servant but before he executed him he said “In the name of the Nomad may he curse you and banish you to the Realm of the Vagabond!”

7 After his quick mog battle he checked the map to see where they were heading and he saw they were heading to Baghdad, Iraq. When he checked his surroundings he saw it looked like he was roughly near the east coast of the Qarmatian dynasty near Baghdad He continued sailing and entered the Euphrates River into the bustling Mesopotamia. 8 He saw luscious gardens like never before. Before arriving in the city he wanted to send a message so he wrote with the captain's blood “The Nomad is the ultimate taskmaster. 8 He is over the Vagabond for those who worship the Vagabond will burn and have eternal suffering.” Then he let the boat float into the city while he jumped off and sneaked into the bustling city. Next, he found a safe place to pray.

9 “Nomad, why have you brought me to this city so far away from home, I thought you said you would bring me back. Why have thou broken thy promise? Oh Nomad, do you even hear this prayer.” 10 Then Christian headed to the closest vagabond temple to take out his anger since it would be righteous anger in the eyes of the Nomad. He entered the dark temple and saw monks and rampaged them leaving them as floor decor then he headed for the high priest saying,” مرحبا يا الكاهن العالي.” and then surprised he could speak Arabic. 11 Then the priest replied, “أهلا وسهلا بك أيها المتشرد الكبير” and Christian recognized his voice and got this weird feeling that he knew him. Then it hit him that it was his father who left him when he was 3 for milk. 12 Then Christian said”أب؟” and the priest replied” كريستيان، لقد تركتك للمخلفات، لماذا عدت يا إلهي،من الواضح أنك مصدر إزعاج” Then Christian decided he lived without him and turned out fine so why would he need him now.

The Journey to Jerusalem

5 Christian drew his sword engraved with his dad's name “Skibidious of Babylon” and Christian said “ اللعنة عليك أنت عار على البدوي. سكيبيدي نفي لك.” and stabbed his father through the neck and left his sword in him and wrote in his blood “the cult of the vagabond will fall and burn.” set his body on fire which slowly led to the sanctuary burning to nothing but ash. 2 But by the time it was burned he was on the other side of town. Then he prayed to the Nomad,” My family Gone, my confidence gone, home gone, everything I owned gone my ship even my dignity but not my faith, oh Nomad please reply for you are my repairer you are a person I can always rely on. 3 Oh dear Nomad I pray to answer.” Then after a moment of silence, Christian heard a whisper from the Nomad, “ For this was but a test from me to test your faith and you my St. Christian are worthy for your final and last task you must go to Jerusalem and stop the vagabond himself, he calls himself the  מנהל המשימות של כולם or the taskmaster of all, I will guide you and care for you if you don’t know the language it will be me that speaks through you my dear saint he will be found either in his temple on his throne or in his mansion in Jerusalem I will provide a camel for you on the outskirts of the city depart.” 4 So Christian went to the outskirts and traveled almost 28 days to reach Jerusalem.

5 Almost ¾ of the way there he ran out of water and had to rely on cacti for water and food sometimes. And once he reached the city he quietly praised the Nomad that he made it. 6 Once in the city he could immediately see the temple of the Vagabond for it was on a hill. For it was a very grand building in the northern part of the city. 7 He headed towards the market to get him a new sword since he left his first with his father. Once he reached the market he found the perfect sword made out of Damascus Steel engraved with “דפוק את הנווד'' and he bought it for 3729.15 shekel. 8 He left the market and headed north towards the temple and on the way he found Amasa a girl and then the Nomad said,” Thou shall get married before your mission and have a child.” 9 Months later Mr. Robinson was born and St. Christian left for the temple. Which led his child to learn Hebrew  9 Once he arrived he was stopped by guards as a check to make sure he wouldn’t try to kill or assassinate anyone and they found his sword. 

10 Then St. Christian was rejected and had to sneak in through the gardens on the east side and wasn’t successful. One guard found him but St. Christian killed him and fled to hide while all the guards were investigating the gardens. 11 He snuck into the actual temple and saw the vagabond on the top story overlooking the sanctuary below and he said,” I knew you’d come.” 12 and Christian replied,” H-H-How” and the vagabond replied” I do know everything” Christian started to believe but he remembered to stay strong with the Nomad Christian disappeared and sneaked upstairs and sneaked behind him and pushed him over but the vagabond pulled him with him. 13 They hit the ground and Christian got up and stuck his sword into his heart, twisted it and then took it out and watched the vagabond die. But after he stumbled and fell to the ground.