Esther Perel's 'Where Should We Begin' Cards

The welcome (15 mins)

Greet Guests Warmly: As guests arrive at you location, welcome each person warmly, making them feel included and valued. Provide name tags if necessary.

Introduce the Purpose: Briefly share the purpose of the evening, highlighting the importance of storytelling, connection, and self-discovery within the Culture First community.

Overview of the Night: Explain the flow of the evening (and what they can expect), including the structure of the game "Where Should We Begin?" by Esther Perel, and encourage guests to engage openly and respectfully with one another. You'll choose the flow and structure after reading the rest of this guide. 

Community Principles + Purpose: Remember to state the purpose of our Culture First community and our 5 core principles. We are asking attendees to embody the principles of our community at this gathering and this gathering ties in really well with many of our principles so make sure to mention that.

1. Fostering Belonging and Acceptance - when people share, let them feel seen, valued and appreciated for just being themselves

2. Willingness to Reflect and Grow - remind attendees that creating a better world of work starts with us doing the work and being the change we want to see in the world

3. Have the Courage to be Vulnerable - ask attendees to play with their edge of vulnerability and only to share what they feel comfortable with and thank vulnerability helps us to create more trust

4. Put your Learning Into Action - at the end the gathering you'll create some space for people to reflect and discuss how they plan to implement their learnings into the way they live and/or work

5. Connection Inside Business Outside  - a friendly reminder that in the context of this gathering attendees are there to connect first as humans and if that leads to doing work together later, that's great! Hard networking and selling isn't the primary purpose of the gathering. 

The connection (15 mins)

Introductions + Icebreaker Activity: Facilitate a light icebreaker activity to introduce folks and help guests feel more comfortable and connected. Think of this as a warm up. This could be as simple as asking each person to share their name, their pronouns, what they do for work, a belonging badge or two, why they care about creating a better world of work, etc. You could also choose an easier card from the deck for everyone to answer. 

Forming Groups: Depending on the number of attendees, organize the room into small groups of 4-5 people to foster more intimate and meaningful conversations.

The work (60 mins) 

We now move in to the work round, which is the main crux of our event. There are a couple of different ways to facilitate this section and to tailor the experience to the needs of your group, ensuring an engaging and meaningful exploration of relationships, values, and personal growth. 

There are three unique ways to engage with Esther Perel’s “Where Should We Begin?” cards, each designed to suit different group sizes and interaction preferences.

Option 1 - Dinner Party Play

Suitable for 6-30 guests. Begin by slipping 2 cards under each plate.

Guests form groups of 4-5 for intimate discussions.

At the beginning of the meal, play with the cards. Around dessert, encourage guests to change seats but leave the cards, offering a fresh perspective and new conversational partners.

Additional options

• Everyone pulls out their cards to read aloud, then they may choose to trade cards and share the story they feel most drawn to.

• Select one question for the entire table (or group), with everyone providing their answer to foster group cohesion.

• Since there are so many amazing cards, you could play a rapid fire round to hear more of the questions where one person reads out questions from the deck fairly quickly while your attendees are able to jump in and share brief answers/stories. 

• You could also have groups go into pairs to share a little deeper with one another. 

Option 2 - StoryRoom

This is best for larger groups. Spread out the cards in the area where each group is playing, allowing them to choose their own cards to discuss. Envision a table with tarot cards spread out. This method gives participants more control over the direction of their conversations.

Option 3 - Fireside Chat + StoryRoom

You and another guest can demonstrate a round of gameplay for the entire group, showcasing how to select and discuss the cards. This could be best for large groups and interviewing a thought leader or senior leader. This can be a great way to break the ice and model open, vulnerable and meaningful conversation for the rest of the participants. Think of this like you are interviewing someone before you open it up for others to play along.
 

Before you start pulling cards and answering questions, here are few other facilitation tips to create the best experience. 

• Consider giving the listeners a way to react to the person sharing when they are done speaking. This could look like verbally thanking them for sharing, snapping for praise, heart hands or even just a hand on your chest. Acknowledging the share is powerful! 

• Decide if you want people to be able to ask follow up questions (or not). If not, a simple phrase like "I want to talk to you more about that later" will do. 

• Be cautious of other people chiming in while others are sharing their stories and ask them not to. 

• Prime the group of what it means to be a great listener. 

The action (15 mins)

Reflection and Sharing: Invite guests to consider what they've learned about themselves and others during the game. Encourage sharing of any new perspectives gained or insights that may influence their relationships or approach to communication.

Applying Learnings: Discuss as a group or in pairs how the evening's discoveries might be applied in their personal or professional lives, encouraging actionable steps or commitments.

Additional questions for reflection:
(Again, feel free to make these your own) 

• What's something you learned, unlearned or relearned? 

• How did you feel while you heard others sharing? 

• What's one word to describe how you are doing now?

• What was your biggest takeaway from today?

• What's one thing you learned that you are willing to put into action?

The close (5 mins)

Thank You and Farewell: Express gratitude to everyone for their participation, openness, and contributions to the evening's success. Encourage guests to continue the conversations started and to stay connected with your Culture First community.

Optional Follow-Up: Consider sending a follow-up email thanking participants once more and possibly including a survey for feedback on the event, suggestions or invitations for future gatherings, or links to resources related to the evening's themes.

Photos of the Culture First Kansas City Chapter

Below are some photos of our community members together that played the game for a dinner party! Cheers to co-creating a better world of work! 

Additional Support 

Esther's Team has created a deck with their recommend ways of playing. Here is the link. 

Below are examples of title(s) to use and an event description template

Title Options:

• An Evening of Storytelling & Discovery with Esther Perel’s “Where Should We Begin?”

• Game Night with Esther Perel’s “Where Should We Begin?” Cards

• Unveiling Connections: A Night with Esther Perel’s Conversation Starters

• Beyond the Surface: Stories & Insights with Esther Perel

• Discovering Depths: An Interactive Evening Inspired by Esther Perel

Sample Event Description:
*make sure to make this your own and what feels best for your specific chapter

"Join us for a unique and engaging evening designed to explore the depths of our stories, connections, and understandings. Hosted by [Insert Chapter Name Here], this event invites you to dive into the art of conversation, guided by the renowned Esther Perel’s "Where Should We Begin?" game. It’s an opportunity to uncover new perspectives, share personal experiences, and foster meaningful connections within our community.

Unlock the Storyteller Within:

Crafted by the globally recognized relationship therapist Esther Perel, this conversation game is not just about asking and answering questions. It's an invitation to storytelling—a journey towards deeper connections and personal growth through the exploration of relationships, family dynamics, personal values, and beliefs.

Evening Highlights:

• Engaging Conversations: Delve into thought-provoking discussions and share stories that resonate, facilitated by Esther Perel's insightful conversation cards.

• Community Connection: Create new bonds and strengthen existing ones as we navigate the complexities of human relationships together, in a safe and welcoming space.

• Insights and Laughter: Discover the unexpected joys and insights that emerge from open and honest dialogue, leading to laughter and learning in equal measure.

Event Details:

• Date: [Insert Date Here]

• Time: [Insert Time Here]

• Location: [Insert Venue Name], [Insert Venue Address], [City], [Country]

Appetizers and light beverages will be provided to keep the conversation flowing. Please note that dinner options are available on your own for those interested.

Special Instructions:

This event is designed to accommodate [Insert Number of Guests], ensuring an intimate setting for meaningful interactions. [Any other specific instructions or notes can be added here.]

RSVP Information:

Spaces are limited. Secure your spot and join us for an unforgettable evening of storytelling and connection. RSVP now to be part of this unique experience. [Insert RSVP instructions or link here.]

We look forward to discovering together, “Where Should We Begin?”