Together

Together

By Magnus von Krusenstiern

I dedicate this book to all of the people who have helped me through elementary school.

Maple Leaf Book Writing Project

Brattleboro, Vermont

Copyright 2016

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It was December 6, 2000 and Julie Costello just found out she was pregnant. Jonathan, the father, had just left, not keeping in touch and not wanting anything serious. Julie wanted the same thing, not wanting to be tied down by a husband or kids, but from the recent information, that plan wasn’t going to happen. The first stages of being pregnant were pretty tough for Julie, being alone, but after a while she got used to it. Day by day went by and Julie was soon to introduce a new person into the world. Azalea Costello, being named after the flower. A week after the birth, Julie started thinking about what she was going to do, give Azalea up for adoption or keep her? It was a tough question. If she kept her, she may regret giving up her life dream. Ever since she was 9 years old, she had had her whole life set out. Go to medical school, become a doctor, and travel the world. Giving up all of that was a really hard thing to do, but she felt strongly about raising Azalea herself. So then it was decided, Julie Costello was going to raise her child.

“Azalea, time for breakfast!” called Julie from the kitchen across the hall.

Azalea was 11 years old and in the fifth grade at PS 51. She and her 32 year old mother lived alone in a small apartment in Manhattan that they had just recently moved into. Julie had a new job downtown, working as a receptionist at a dentist office. She didn’t make a whole lot of money but she made enough to keep a roof over their heads.

“Azalea, this is the last time! Your eggs are getting cold!” Julie called again after Azelea didn’t respond.

“I’m coming, just one sec.” Azalea said, not being worried about the time.

“Well, try to be quicker, your bus is about to come and I need to get to work. I can’t afford to be late on my first day.” Julie shouted back in a very stressed voice. Azalea was a pretty calm, not worrying about school, work or the future, ever since they moved.

Azalea had only been going to her new school for 2 days, and so far, she wasn’t enjoying it. It is hard moving into a new place, especially if it’s a huge city. Brand new school, brand new people and basically, a new life! Ever since Azalea was first born, she lived in Idaho. Out there, the school was a lot different. There, you knew everyone in every grade and every class. Your friends would always travel up to high school with you. In New York City, it was a lot harder in a huge school, especially if you are brand new, so somehow she was going to have to make her way in this city.

“Hey, Mom, did you pack me a lunch today?” Azalea asked as she walked into the kitchen.

“Oh, I’m sorry honey,” Julie said in a sincere voice. “I was really rushed this morning, why can’t you just order lunch?”

“That’s okay.” Azalea said, seeming disappointed. Azalea disliked the school lunch, and was still happy her mom actually made her bag lunches when she could.

“Well, I’m sorry but just this one time you’ll have to. Now get your shoes on and let’s go.”

As they walked downstairs and out of their building Azalea thought about her Mom. She understood it must be hard to take care of a child on your own and doing all of these things for them, so that’s why many times Azalea gave her Mom a free pass because of everything she did for her. She just wished she could do more for her

“Good luck on your first day.” Azalea said to her mother as she boarded the bus.

“Aw, thanks honey. Have a good day.” Julie responded in a much calmer voice.

In Azalea’s new school, she was in one of 5 classes for the fifth grade. Compared to Idaho, it was a lot different with all of the classes and kids. Since there were so many kids at many different levels, today they decided what class you would go in. Over the past few days she had met some kids but today would decide what classroom kids you would be with for the rest of the year.

“PS 51, this is your stop!” called the bus driver to the back of the bus. As she got off the bus and into the school, Azalea felt this subtle anxious feeling in her stomach, being nervous about what class she would be in.

When walking into the school, Azalea was assigned to go to the cafeteria, which is where the classes would be picked. As soon as she got there, her eyes quickly caught an open table in the corner. She sat down and rested her head on the table, thinking about Idaho, thinking about her old life.

Azalea’s mother was born and raised as a New Yorker, but later went off to college in Idaho, never looking back. Eventually “one more month” living there turned into 17 years. Then one day, out of the blue, Julie had an idea, and within 3 weeks, they were riding a plane to New York. Since then, Azalea has only asked 3 times about why they moved, but every time the subject comes up, Julie just gets quiet and steers the conversation to a different topic.

Later that day, as Azalea sat on the bus, she thought about today and the students she met. Even though they didn’t talk much, she still really enjoyed it all. And for being a new student in the school, it was just what she needed. When the bus finally made it to her stop, she got off it and walked up the four flights of stairs to tell her Mom about her day.

“Hey, Mom.” Azalea put down her bag and looked up, examining the room. Sitting there at the table was her mother, tissue crumpled up in her hand, nose and cheeks rose red, streaks of water formed down her face, and there, on her left, a man stood.

“Hello Azalea.” the man said.

“Hi.” Azalea quietly said, still not knowing who the man was.

“I’m sorry Azalea,” her mother started, “This is long overdue, and I should’ve told you a long time ago. This is Jonathan, your father.”

Her father? The man that left her mother the second after she found out she was pregnant? The man that wasn’t there at all for the past 11 years? Yeah, that was the guy.

“Um, well, I think this is a lot to take in. I’ll just leave you guys for now.” he said. Then he walked out.

“What’s going on?” Azalea asked, the second he closed the door. Quickly Julie leaped off her seat and hugged Azalea.

“Mom, are you okay? What’s going on?” she said again.

“Everything’s fine honey, okay. Nothing is going to happen to you.” said Julie, weeping as she spoke.

“What do you mean everything’s fine? What are you talking about?”

“It’s your father,” she said as she started to sob, “Just because he wasn’t there for 11 years of your life doesn’t mean he is allowed to just barge into our lives and pretend that nothing ever happened.” she finished.

“Wait, what?” Azalea said confused, “He wants to take me to be his child?!”

“Well, not exactly. But still, jumping into our lives right now is unacceptable.” Julie said sitting back down, wiping her face.

“So did he just walk in and say ‘Julie, I made a big mistake, I wanna become a part of this family?”

“Well, no. I knew he was looking for me. I found out awhile back in Idaho.” Julie froze and looked away, avoiding Azalea’s eyes.

“Wait, Idaho? Was this the reason we moved all the way to New York City?!” Azalea started to raise her voice as she realized why her life change so suddenly.

“I’m sorry. I was only trying to protect you. Knowing that your father left us before even knowing you, I felt like it was just something to keep you out of.” said Julie sounding protective.

“Just forget it!” Azalea said as she walked down to hall and into her room, slamming the door behind her. Azalea knew that she didn’t have a huge right to be mad, knowing her mother was only trying to protect her, but she was still mad. She just felt like she should’ve known more about this.

A few hours went by, Azalea still in her room. She had reminisced about Idaho and the almost perfect life. Though she had never shared this with anyone, she had always wanted a second parent. She loved her Mom so much, but sometimes wished that she could have her father back. Without a father, she felt, even though she didn’t show it, that her life wasn’t quite complete. Finally, after a lot of thinking time, she had felt a little bit better understanding what her mother did.

The door opened with a slight creek.

“Hey,” said Julie walking in with a plate of food in her hand. “I felt like you might be hungry. You’ve been in here awhile.”

“Thanks, you can put it over there.” Azalea said pointing to her bedside desk.

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. It was selfish of me to not tell you about Jonathan in Idaho.” Julie said

Azalea ran up to her mother and gave her a hug.

“Ever since Jonathan left me, I’ve felt like I couldn’t count on anyone, or even trust anyone. My whole life was built around you, your education, your health, everything about you. So that’s why I felt like I should keep this to myself.” Julie said. Azalea didn’t respond to what her mother said, but she knew she was right and felt better hearing why she did that.

The next morning was starting out normal, both of them acting like the night before had never actually happened, but Azalea knew it did. She had so many questions for her Mom about Jonathan, but she knew it wasn’t appropriate to ask her now. She needed to wait for an icebreaker.

“Hey Azalea, mind getting that?” asked Julie just after the phone started ringing. Azalea walked to the phone, thinking about when to ask and saw on the phone ID: Jonathan Cell.

“Well, that did it!” Azalea muttered under her breath.

“Who is it, honey?” asked Julie. “Just another one of those advertisers.” Azalea said, canceling the call. Throughout the day, Azalea thought about how she had lied to her mother that morning, wondering what Julie would say if she found out.

That afternoon, Azalea was walking home from her bus stop as she saw somewhat of a familiar face across the street. It took a few seconds to register, but when she figured it out, her first thought wasn’t to just say, ‘Hello’. There he was, right across the street, Jonathan! This was the second time Azalea had ever seen him in her whole life and she had no idea what to do. Azalea started to just keep walking, like nothing ever happened, but as soon as their eyes met, there was no escaping.

“Hey, Azalea, over here!” called Jonathan, waving, but Azalea kept her head down and continued walking. Jonathan ran across the street but Azalea just kept on walking no matter how much he called out to her.

“Azalea, slow down! Let me talk to you for a second.” he said, not too far behind her. Quickly, Azalea turned her head.

“What do you want from me?” Azalea said in a uninviting tone of voice.

“What do you mean?” Jonathan said slowing down.

“Why are you here? What are you doing chasing after the woman you left 11 years ago?”

“You want to know? You really want to know?!” Jonathan’s eyes started filling up with tears. “7½ years ago I met Leslie. She was this beautiful, amazing girl that I fell in love with right away. (Azalea hesitated, thinking about how somehow, Leslie was his true love, and not Julie.) We dated for about 2 years. One day, we found out she was pregnant. I stood by her side the whole time and soon enough, we had a child.” (Azalea once again thought about Jonathan being with her mother, NOT being hopelessly in love, NOT standing by her side.) “We raised him, for what I thought was a perfect 3 years. From out of the blue, he got diagnosed with something called Diphtheria. It is this pretty rare disease that children at his age can get, causing bacteria to form in the back of the throat. It can make it hard for the child to breathe and swallow. Sadly, he didn’t make it.” Jonathan stopped and stared into space. “After I lost him, I realized that if I felt this bad for what happened, I had to find you and somehow have a relationship with you.”

“And Leslie?” Azalea asked.

“We are still together, been staying at a hotel.”

“I can’t even look at you right now.” Azalea said, “Staying by her side? Uh, I have to go.”

Even though Azalea now felt some sympathy for her father, it was fear and anger that drove her off. Standing by Leslie’s side but not her mother’s?! Just looking at him now made her furious.

“Azalea, wait! I’m here because I regret about not staying by your mother’s side, but I’m not going to just live with your mother because I want to get to know you.”

“And why not?”

“Because I’m in love with Leslie. But love is a funny thing an----”

“I have to go.” interrupted Azalea

“Hey, honey, you’re late. What held you up?” said Julie as Azalea got home.

“Well, you might not believe this but I actually ran into Jonathan.”

Julie quickly looked up.

“He’s in pretty bad shape, recently losing somebody special.” Azalea finished.

“Well, that’s too bad.” Julie said in a less cheerful voice.

“Even though he wasn’t there for us, I feel like we should kinda get to know him. Even though we don’t owe it to him, I feel like we should help him out.” she said. Azalea decided to tell her mother about his baby, and why he wanted to connect with Azalea.

“From how you described him, he seems like he could use some support, considering his loss. Maybe we could take him out for lunch. I just need to find out a way to contact him.”

“Mom, I regret not telling you this, but the other day, Jonathan called. His number is probably on the phone. I didn’t want to make you upset.”

“Oh…..well thanks. I’ll contact him later tonight.”

That night when Azalea was asleep, she had the most marvelous dream. Julie, Jonathan, and Azalea had just finished a fantastic lunch. Everyone had gotten along great (especially Julie and Jonathan) Azalea had felt somehow whole. All this time she had felt empty, but getting to know her missing, mysterious father better completed her. Before she knew it, they were back together and all was happy. Azalea wanted nothing more.

The next morning, Azalea sat at the breakfast table, picturing her dream once more. Azalea thought about how they connected at lunch and if this dream was to become reality. She finally knew what she wanted, and she realized it was soon to possibly come true.

Finally, it was lunchtime, and Azalea had high hopes. She and her mother had met Jonathan at a little corner restaurant. When they were seated, they all tried to make small talk but basically were silent, being nervous and not knowing where to start.

“So, are we a happy family now?!” Azalea blurted out, not quite knowing what she was saying or feeling.

“What?” said Jonathan.

“Azalea!” said Julie.

“What?! We’re all here. We may as well just live happily ever after!” responded Azalea nervously.

“Azalea, you know I’m with someone.” said Jonathan.

“Yeah we’r-, wait what?” questioned Julie.

“Yeah, I have a girlfriend, but more on that later.” answered Jonathan. “Why do you think we’ll get back together?”

“Well, I had a dream last night, but I guess that’s kind of crazy talk.”

“Kind of?!” exclaimed Julie.

“I’m sorry. It’s just that moments like these are incredible. I’ve wondered about this my whole life” said Azalea starting to look down.

“Well, if it’s not too weird, we could just stay like this...a little funky group?!” said Jonathan. Julie felt composed as she heard those words from Jonathan.

“Yeah. I mean, what’s the harm? This could be a good beginning.” responded Julie.

The year went on and Azalea grew to love New York, her school, and even her new friends, including Jonathan and Leslie. As a couple, they were now running strong, being engaged and planning their move to New York to be close to Azalea, and Julie too. Their “little funky group” kept on going and growing, having lunch every other Saturday, ever since that first meeting.

Forgiveness. In order to forgive you need to be understanding and sympathetic and somehow, Azalea and Julie learned how to do that... together.