This Book Is On Fire.
By Scarlett Schapp
This book is dedicated to a friend of many people.
He isn't a relative, and I only met him seven times, but he
deserves a dedication the most. His name is Colby, and recently
he cut his life far too short. So this book of poetry
is in honor and memory of Colby.
R.I.P
Poetry that’s as clear as day
At the same time, it is as dark night.
If you have a broken heart
A black heart
A blue heart
A green heart
Read on,
In these pages, you will find relief
If your heart is beautiful, tender and sweet
If
You have never known hate or anger, filled to the brim with love
Stop
Close the book and don’t look back
You will find poison in these words
This poetry is not for you, it will make you sad and hollow.
Unless you are one of many with no heart at all
If you read this, you will soon.
The cavity in your chest will be filled
So reader beware, this is a book of compassion
Hate
Anger
Rejection
Sadness
Beauty
Hope
First love
The sweetness of first love
Pulls and tugs at your heart
Emotions riling and snarling in your ear
Promises
Eventually
The sweet flavor is replaced with a bitter
Foul
Thing also called
First love
Because it never lasts
Dreams
Lay down your head child
Let yourself slip into dreams of innocence
Sleep and know not
The hate and envy
Something I feel and see every day
Sleep haunted with nightmarish truths
So sleep child
Take your fill now
Because it is not forever
Hands of Time
If only I could turn the hands of time
The things I would change
The cruel words I said
Did not say
The sweet words I needed to hear
They never came
So now, I move forward
Stepping toward becoming a person who
Others will listen to
A person others will respect
Still, those words will never come
Innocence
When I walk through my past
I search and search
and I never find it
The further I go the harder I sob
Once I find it, I can leave
So
I never left
Nightmare
I look around slowly
And try to scream
No noise comes through
Insanity of a
Nightmare I cannot escape
It grips me like a doll
And shakes me
Disoriented I look around
I run not knowing what else to do
My feet take me nowhere
Then I open my eyes
My breath slows
And I walk from my bed
Knowing that the nightmare
Can’t be real, even though I know it screams true
Jealousy
Heart dripping with green jealousy?
Envious glares shot at those
Who haven’t suffered?
Never.
Mirrors
Every day I force torture upon my mind
I stare into the mirror and cry
I watch the tear slip from my eyes
Down the track of my face
My mind filling with the horror
That I will be surrounded
yet
Forever alone
Except for my reflection
Anger
The silence before the scream
The moment before the tear
The swing before the hit
The loss before the fall
The love before the pain
All have one thing in common
Anger
Each one cannot be taken back
Ever
Middle of Nowhere
Welcome to the middle of nowhere
Poetry filling the air
Screams piercing the fabric of time
Prayers float aimlessly, never to be answered
People just like me
We are all together
No matter how far apart
Our souls trapped together in a cage of emotions
In the middle of nowhere
Help
I scream for help
Never to be answered
Always alone, I stand in a crowed
Visible to all
Invisible forever
Hiding in plain sight
Will always work for me
But I will never be seen
Impossible
I look at him
His hopeless imperfections
And perfections
Blend together to create my forever choice of friend
Unknowingly holding the key to my original heart
Someday he will release it
And this act will end
If we last that long.
Deep notes: then
Deep notes fill my ears
My voice rebounds across the water
My toes dangle harmlessly into the rushing water
He sits at my side swaying with my notes
The hollow of my swanlike neck
Vibrates with music
The one and only thing I can give him
My voice
This is the way he described me
When I was with him
Deep notes: now
My long legs folded underneath me
My neck stretches as I try to create the same sound
Now the deep notes are deeper
My soul deeper
My voice is mine
The lament of lyrics and notes vibrate around me
Weaving a web of anguish
Never again will I hear
The clean, pure note of my happiness
As I see my reflection next to his in the river
Now I hear my pain
As the images of the trees around me are blurred with tears
Same voice, different beauty.
Dance
The fabric of my silken dress slips around my hips
The ocean blue of my bangles clink metallically
Rattling my arms to the music
My long, loose hair flies free as the ribbon binding it slips off
My bare feet thump the warm forest dirt
Rhythmically they fly across the ground
The sweet magic
of my dance swirls around me as I swing
the end of my song is nearing
My heart raps against my chest
the final notes soar around me as I launch myself towards the treetops
the last jump of my dance encases me in joy, only the gravity of my landing brings me back
I hit the ground
Then the next song starts.
Hand mirror
The silvery reflective face of my hand mirror, ringed with twists of silver metal
Distracts me with its simple beauty
From mine
Society
Society steals away the right of
Individuality
Every girl who looks in the mirror
And cries
Every boy who cannot show who he
Loves
Because of gender
Every other person who hides their
Feelings behind fists
All those who has to carve themselves
Bloody
to be seen,
Only to not be heard
I reach out to you
with one message
Rebel,
show society,
Show what you think of there
‘rules’
Take back your individuality,
and love who you see in your mirror
backups in the freezer
see this cavity in my chest
this giant gaping hole
shattered shards of stone
litter the bloody bottom
bits and pieces
millions of cold little slivers
look at how the pain and love alike
ripped from my chest
my heart has been broken up
and removed from the huge space
good thing I have some backups in the freezer
Fly
The jagged marble of the rock
Cut into my blistered feet
I look down into the swirling roiling
Waves below
Friends sit at the base of the rocks
scream my name
There cheers push me to the edge
They smile and hoot
in excitement for my stunt
I turn and smile
My boys stand behind me
He stands in the center
I know it is a dream
He visits me often in the one place
I am truly ever happy
He pulls me into a tight embrace
He fills me with scents of
Freedom
His lips brush mine and I fall backwards
Tears of pain fill my eyes
It is like losing him again
Losing myself
I will never lose him
Then I wake
Family Storms
I hate it
The silence between our screams
The breaking glass
The rough terrain
Where you cannot make a right choice
You always slip up
It never really ends
After the storm
The tensions flow underneath
Until the next explosion
The broken poem
look at a poem
read a poem
you often find happiness
hope and love
you
simple reader
may think this poem is broken
sad instead of happy
but still full of hope and love
still
it is broken
and so am I
Puzzle pieces
busted up
my heart crumbles
like a puzzle
lifted from the table
holding it together
now I need a new table
and a new heart
Music or you
my silly little heart
soothed and hurt
often enough
by small things
very small things
like music
or you
End
The end is near
We both know
My time with him was cut far too short
Never again will I feel the way he could make me feel
I cannot smile the way he could make for me
Only me
Alone
Until the end