The Secret

The Secret

Written and Illustrated by Genevieve Herrin

Dedicated to my beloved puppy Layna,

for being cute, cuddly and

part German Shepherd.

Maple Leaf Writing Project

Brattleboro, Vermont

Copyright 2015

I was writing in my new diary that I bought at the dollar store when I heard Momma calling, “Susanna come down for a minute!”

I heaved a sigh and jumped to my feet. As I ran downstairs my sock caught a nail ripping my sock. That’s when I knew this would be the worst house I’d ever lived in! As I slipped past the half-bath I heard a dog barking outside. It sounded scared and lonely.

I approached Momma normally but she looked as if I had ran up to her waving a gun in my hand shouting “Watch out, I'm a maniac!” Momma wrapped her skinny arms around me and cradled me like she did when I was little. “This is it” she sighed. “We’re home.” I thought I could detect a flash of sadness in her dark brown eyes but I must have been imagining because suddenly Momma started laughing like I had just shared the funniest joke with her. Her laugh didn't sound joyful, it sounded as if she didn't know what to do next. Then her eyes started to tear up. Big fat tears began rolling down her cheeks. She sounded almost exactly like the lonely dog I had heard outside. She held me tight, her bony arms hurting my sides, but I didn’t say anything, I just let her hold me and cradle me from side to side.

“All right no more pep talk!” Momma sniffled. Momma must have been having a whole conversation with herself in her head because she hadn’t pep talked me at all. Wiping her tears Momma took a deep breath and with a sigh she said, “Your grandmother is coming to live with us sweetheart.”

“Grandma? Which one?” I asked wiggling out of her arms.

“My mother, silly duckling!” Momma talked to me as if I were in kindergarten and just mixed my abc’s with my numbers.

“Oh, Grandma Willow?” I asked.

“Yes Grandma Willow.” This time Momma sounded annoyed. Her tone was flat and her eyes did not have their natural glow.

“Well Momma I finished designing my room.” I broke the silence. I think Momma was in deep thoughts because she looked distant.

“Okay, need help unpacking?”

“No Momma it’s fine,” I said, trying to sound reassuring. “You know I’m not a little girl any more”

“Yes I know, you’ve just grown up so fast!”

“Don't worry, I can manage.” I responded quietly.

“If you can manage, so can I.” Momma said as she let out a long breath

“Now go up stairs and finish unpacking little missy.” Her tone was playful but her eyes were dark and cold with loneliness. It’s been hard for Momma to live in a new house without Daddy. One day he went on a business trip and he never came back. We know he’s not dead, but we don't know where he is. He never calls, never writes. It’s like he forgot about us, or he doesn't exist.

I ran upstairs into my room and looked around.

I had three milk crates, a mattress laying in the middle of my floor, a stack of books and a full pencil box. I also had a bureau and a wooden keepsake box.

I dragged my mattress into a corner of my room. I pushed the wooden box against my bed as a nightstand, and left the bureau where it was against the wall right beside the door. Taking the three milk crates I stacked them on top on each other for a bookshelf.

This time as I passed the half-bath I didn't hear the dog barking but I peeked out of the small window and saw a scrawny little dog sniffing in a knocked over trash can.

The next morning I walked in the school building, I was nervous starting a new school. I entered room 121, nobody was in the classroom.

I shoved my bag into a closet forcing it on a crooked hook. Sitting down at a desk I waited. Then the bell rang, and kids ran down the hallways. Fourteen children entered the room, they put their knapsacks away, and sat down.

“Good morning class, I’m Mrs. Haskins.” I heard a long whimper.

“Right now…” Mrs. Haskins continued, suddenly I heard a dog howl in pain. My hand shot up.

“Yes?” Mrs.Haskins asked.

“I'm not feeling well” I lied.

“That’s alright first days are always hard.”

“Can I go to the nurse?” I asked.

Mrs. Haskins studied me, finally she answered,“Be back soon possible”

“Okay” I responded, trying to look like I had an upset stomach. I walked out of the classroom downstairs and slipped past the principal's office unnoticed. The dog’s painful barking guided me to the back of the school. He’s been looking for me. I turned a corner just in time to see three older boys chucking rocks at the dog.

“Hey! You leave him alone!” I shouted at them. They turned around to look at me, the dog darted over to me and hid behind my legs.

“Make us!” the tallest boy challenged.

“Don’t forget we are still on school grounds,” I retorted camly. “It’ll be really simple to just scream, and someone will come rushing out of the school.” The boy shrugged and they stomped off defeated.

When they were out of sight I knelt down to the dog and scratched behind his ears. His fur was matted with blood, dirt and scars, his ribs were sticking out and he had sad eyes, one blue and the other brown. By the looks of it he hadn't been cared for in forever.

“It’s okay boy,” I said to him softly. “I’m here you're safe now.” He licked my hand as I stood up. He ran into the woods then stopped and waited for me to catch up. Then he did it again and again. He led me to an old broken down cabin then scrambled under the collapsed roof.

“Is this your home boy?” I asked. Whining he scrambled back out. I looked at the damp, rotting wood. Right away I started dragging out old logs that were detached from the cabin and laid them in a neat pile. I motioned for the dog to come near me. “Sit,” I said seeing if he knew any tricks, then he sat. He must have been somebody’s dog before. “Stay,” I commanded putting my hand out in front of his nose. I spent thirty minutes dragging out old logs and trying to prop up the collapsed roof. It didn't make much difference but at least he had more shelter now. It was ten thirty when I entered the school building, unnoticed once more. I darted to the bathroom to wash the dirt from my hands and face. The last thing I wanted was Mrs. Haskins asking how I got all muddy in the nurse’s office.

After school I rushed to the back of the building. Unzipping my knapsack, I ran into the woods.

“Hey wait up!” I froze. I turned around to see a boy jogging towards me.

“Do I know you?” I asked.

“Uh no... well kinda... I’m in your class remember?” Why is this kid following me? I thought.

“I’m not very good at remembering strangers.”

“What are you doing out here?” I flinched at his harsh tone. I was about to say something when he interrupted. “Woah chill, I’m only curious!” the boy said holding his hands up to his chest.

“Too curious,” I mumbled.

“Okay dude can we just start over?”

“And act like you saw nothing and we said nothing?” I asked challenging his request.

“Sure yea okay, what you said,” the boy said stepping away he walked back like nothing happened and said.

“Oh, hi, Susanna right? I’m in your class and i'm telling you this because some how I know you can’t remember strangers. My name is Jackson but you can call me Jack.”

I smiled and replied. “Yea, I’m Susanna.” Pausing I said, “What are you doing all the way out here?”

“I was going to ask the same about you, but you asked first so I guess I’ll wait.” I sat down on an old birch stump as he continued. “I always go this way, its a shortcut to my house.” He said shortly.

“Oh I see.” I said, fixing my gaze onto my feet.

“Now its my turn what are you doing out here? His tone was suspicious but not hostile. “Obviously you’re not supposed to be here? I mean you were kinda lurking in the shadows.” His statement sounded more like a question.

“Uh, yea I guess but uh, I kind of can’t tell you why I'm out here.” I said gazing into the trees.

“Why?” he asked as if he were a three year old.

“Its a secret.” I said stubbornly.

“I’m good at keeping secrets though.” By the look on his face even a blind person could tell he was telling the truth.

“Promise not to tell anyone? Not even your closest friend?”

“That’ll be easy! Because I don’t have any friends! I won’t tell a soul! Not even my own!” Jack said trying to be funny

“All right! I found a stray dog and my mother has something about animals or something that she doesn’t like them so I’m hiding the dog in the woods.” I said quickly.

“Sweet! Okay can I help!?” he asked jumping up and down like a excited kindergartener.

“Really, you would?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yes really! I don’t talk for the pleasure of hearing my own voice.” His words were scornful but the his voice was playful.

“Great, okay, follow me!” I said running to where I had left the dog. I slowed down when I came to the old cabin. I reached into my bag and pulled out a small baggie of goldfish then I yanked a piece of bark off a tree. It was flat and rouge. I dropped it, and yanked another off the tree. Jackson came hurtling towards me. “Hey don’t be pulling the bark off those trees!” he shouted. “You’ll kill them then they’ll die!”

I laughed. “If I kill them of course they will die, because they did die!” Jackson frowned. “Susanna thats not my point! Pull some bark off of this dead tree instead of that live one!” He pointed to a birch tree, the tall branchless trunk splintered at the top like it had been blown off by a shotgun.

“You really want me to let this dog eat off of decaying wood?” I asked angrily.

“The dog should be grateful he’s eating at all!” Jackson retorted. He did have a point so I gave up.

“You're really a freak of nature aren’t you?” I asked yanking off a perfect piece of bark.

“Well if you want to call it that, but really no, my dad works in a logging company and I’m kinda against that stuff,” he said looking me straight in the eyes.

“So you’re a tree hugger!” I said playfully.

“Oh no, call me that one more time I dare you!” Jackson shouted, a wide grin on his face.

“ Tree hugger!” I shouted back. We ran around the birch tree I dodged him twice twirling around the other way and then I heard a low growl. I stopped and so did Jackson, another low growl rumbled. We looked around. A bear? I wondered. Then a narrow snarling snout clamped onto Jackson’s pant leg. It was the dog. He pulled Jackson to the ground but before he could bite him I shouted. “No! Bad boy! Jackson is a friend! Shame on you!” The dog immediately tucked his tail between his legs submissively and his ears went flat on his head as if saying sorry, you’re the boss.

I knelt down at Jacksons side. “You okay? Did he nip you?” He stood up and brushed pieces of forest floor off his pants.

“Just a scratch and torn pants.” he said wonderingly looking at the dog.

“You know, he was just trying to protect you. I was chasing you and he saw that as a threat towards you.”

I looked up from the dog who was now sitting at my feet.

“Really you think so? Why would he do that? I mean I only found him this morning.”

“Well, what was he doing when you found him?” Jackson sat on an old log that I had dragged from the cabin earlier in the morning. I placed the piece of bark that was still in my hands neatly on the ground and poured the small baggie of goldfish into the bark as I began to tell Jack my story. The dog darted forwards gulping down the goldfish in hungry bites. I shoved the plastic baggie into my knapsack.

“How do you know so much about dogs?” I asked. Jackson looked up at me surprised like I had asked if he has ever touched the sun.

“Oh, just by reading books about em,” he said getting comfortable on the log.

“Then do you know what kind of dog he is?” I asked.

“Well it’s hard to tell, his coat is so dull and matted, but after a bath I will be able to find his exact breed,” Jackson answered.

“Okay.” I said. “What should we name him?” I asked.

“Something that sounds tough.” Jackson responded.

“Shadow?” I asked.

“No, everybody names their dog that these days. Skull?” He sounded happy with his suggestion.

“Nah, that sound too deadly and he’s not deadly.” I said deadly in a dark husky tone. Jackson rolled his eyes.

“In that case lets just name him Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows?” Jackson said with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“No way!” I shouted.

“Dinosaur?”

“Too dull,” I replied. We sat there a long long time sharing names we thought would fit the stray dog. We came up with a lot of names but nothing seemed to fit.

“Buddy?” I suggested.

“Oh, Its not bad but it wouldn't fit this dog,” Jackson responded.

I searched my brain for dog names that I liked, deep down somewhere I knew there had to be at least one name that would fit him. Then ding! “REX!” I shouted.

“Dude no need to scream!” Jackson nearly sounded like he was growling. “Sorry Jackson but…” I started to apologize

“Just call me Jack okay?” I nodded.

“Sure okay whatever jackso…” I shook my head. “Sure okay Jack. Sorry but I really think Rex would fit this dog!”

“Why Rex?” Jackson asked.

“You wanted to name him dinosaur, the T-rex is a dinosaur and and I’m absolutely, positively not going to name him Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows!” I retorted playfully.

“Rex it is then!” Jack’s voice sounded tired but cheerful. “Well I gotta be getting home,” I waved.

“Bye, see you later.” Rex barked his farewell, as I made my way carefully through the thick bushes and trees.

When I entered my house I suddenly felt lonely and when I went to find Momma in the living room she wasn't there. An old lady with short gray hair and the same eyes as my mother sitting on the couch.

“Who are you?” I asked

“Hasn’t your mother told you about your jolly old grandmother?” the woman asked her cheerful voice forced.

“Where is Momma?” I asked startled. Grandma shook her head sadly.

“Susanna… Your mother is very ill…”

“Okay but where is she?” I interrupted. I was scared. I didn’t even know Grandma Willow. She was a complete stranger.

“I was getting to that, Susanna,” Grandma replied calmly. “Your mother is in the hospital right now. I’ll be caring for you for a while.” I shook my head. My throat tightened.

“Is this the only reason you came? To send my mother off to some hospital? She was fine when I left her! When will she be back?” I demanded.

“When the doctor thinks she’s well enough.” Grandma replied. I felt a tear run down my cheek.

“Oh,” I replied in a whisper. Another tear.

“Listen dear, your mother is not in the best condition, she gets very upset over nothing, and I can only imagine how angry she gets about the big problems.

“I do hear her crying at night,” I responded.

“So you understand Susy?” Where did this name Susy come from? No one had ever called me Susy before in my life! I ran upstairs to my room blinded with tears.

That morning I woke to the sound of Grandma hustling around in the kitchen. Drowsily I sat up in bed and looked out my small window. I sauntered downstairs. There in the living room I saw Rex sleeping on the couch.