Shame and Guilt from Trauma

SHAME AND GUILT 

Shame is the fear of exposure. Embarrassment is not a shame. Often, these two are used interchangeably, but each leaves a distinctive “dent” on the soul. Falling short while performing mundane tasks can be embarrassing, and depending on the “thickness of one’s skin,” it might or might not leave an emotional scar. There are no detrimental consequences to the state of mind and heart. This is the “dent” of embarrassment. 

    Shame, on the other hand, is a deeply seeded fear that our words, behaviors, facial expressions, and body language might reveal past wounds (dents) of the heart. Flawed character exposure or admission of going against societal standards is traumatic and deeply shameful. Shame forces us to build tall, impenetrable walls around ourselves. Shame circumvents ethics to keep “prying eyes” at arm’s length. Shame is skillful in displaying a polished image and spends a tremendous amount of energy to ensure that the discrepancies between one’s public self and true self are never discovered. Shame puts up a veneer-tin facade that might seem strong in public but crumbles at one’s deaf-silent, lonely corner. Shame dreads exposure of self. Shame has acquired all the above coping mechanisms to stay a secret. Shame is a drain on the body, the soul, and the spirit. Shame is exhausting. When exposed, shame might cause such unbearable pain that it could shrink the soul away from the joys of life. Shame is the uttermost depravity. Shame is the lifeline of trauma.  

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