The Story of Mia

The Story of Mia 

Mia was in junior high school when her problems began. She exhibited very low self-esteem. Unpredictable bouts of rage often spout vulgarity, transforming her otherwise unnoticeable demeanor into a paragon of malevolence. She rarely spoke in public and never dared voice her opinion. Cold indifference toward any academic work ran through her veins. She despised order, skills, excellence, and capability, a bitter reminder of how unattainable these prosperous life goals were for her. She could never be that perfect. She hated anyone who was. Mia was a rebel, angry with the world. 

As a young student, she longed to integrate into the larger class community but she remained “hidden”; she feared others would notice her inadequacy and reject and mock her. This inner conflict triggered her rage. Repeated visits to the counselor’s office for numerous fights did nothing to stop her from defying the school’s ordinances. She didn’t care. 

Life had dealt Mia a hard hand. Mia had a horrendous childhood. She was the third of four siblings, living in a slum-like condition, in a small town in northern Illinois. Her mother was physically abusive to the point of insanity. It seemed to Mia, that she was the only object of her mother’s rage. Mia was then just a five-year-old little girl. The physical pain she learned to endure, holding those tears back. Her mother, then, further infuriated, would throw herself at her, screaming, inflicting more pain on her already battered body. 

She was eight when her mother left the family, never to return. Mia breathed a sigh of relief for a life without her abuser. The beating stopped, but something more menacing replaced it. Her two brothers began sexually molesting her. The abusive mother stamped Mia’s heart with the message that love comes with pain. Her brothers further ingrained in her young mind that the reality of living in pain was the norm, not the exception.

After her mother abandoned the family, her Father went into depression. He began working long hours, drowning his sorrows. The children were left to attend to themselves. Mia shared a bed with her younger sister. Initially, the brothers would come at night for comfort, but very soon, when their baby sister would be asleep, this closeness would turn into a sexual exploration. The sexual abuse continued for many long years. For Mia, this was her brothers’ love, but as the years went on, she began dreading the experience. She tried multiple strategies to discourage them from pursuing her, but neither was successful. Unmitigated, the daily practice of sexual abuse became the family’s “new normal.” 

It was not until middle school that her troublesome behavioral problems skyrocketed, and she was repeatedly sent to the counselor’s office for fighting. On one of these visits, enraged and defiant, she burst out at the counselor, screaming furiously. The accumulated anger towards her brothers found an outlet in the counselor's office. Shouting she blurted out: “I cannot do this anymore!” Her sexual abuse was not a secret anymore. Mia was detained and placed in the foster care system for safety. 

Mia loved her brothers and could not shake the guilt of turning them over to the authority. She also hated the person she had become. She was ravaged by shame, guilt, anger, rage, hatred, animosity, and bitterness. The journey of Mia’s healing had just begun.

Question: Imagine that you are Mia’s counselor. How would you help Mia heal?

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________