Defilement From Unredemptive Emotional Pain

Defilement From Unredemptive Emotional Pain

 Apostle Paul speaks of two kinds of sorrows: Godly and worldly.

Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (2 Corinthians 7:10) 

Worldly sorrow is self-destructive. Harboring anger, hatred resentment, bitterness, unforgiveness, and animosity toward an offender only harms the victim, not the perpetrator. These are practices of the flesh that constitute unredemptive emotional pain. They seem the most “natural” response of a trauma victim toward the offender, but they cause defilement of the victim. Hypothetically, if the offender repents from the wrongdoing, God grants forgiveness, even if the victim is not willing to forgive. In this situation, the perpetrator is in the right standing with God, while the victim is guilty of harboring anger and the alike attitudes of the heart. They cause alienation from God and a failure to grow in the image of Christ, becoming EHAD with Him. We are warned to be aware of such bitter root defilment:

See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many (Hebrews 12:15).

Godly sorrow is the overwhelming regret the believer experiences from grieving the Lord. It is a righteous response to acknowledging wrongdoing, humbling oneself with a penitent heart. Jesus refers to this state of being poor in spirit that grants entrance to the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 5:3). This godly sorrow produces a harvest of sustained spiritual growth. 

This godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. (2 Corinthians 7:11)

Exhibiting worldly sorrow drifts the believer from the narrow road. Restoration begins with a penitent heart. We must confess and repent when we willingly or unwillingly drift from the narrow road due to worldly sorrow. There is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). Confession and repentance restore the believer to a rightful position with God. Godly sorrow is an attitude of repentance, an experience from which we must learn and grow never to repeat the offense. Otherwise, we are likened to a dog that returns to its own vomit, and a fool that repeats his folly (Proverbs 26:11). Examples of godly sorrow are the presence of genuine remorse after gossiping, stealing, manipulating, abusing, neglecting God and His Word, not attending church services, disrespecting parents, coveting, adultery, anger, hatred, bitterness, resentment, etc. Even perpetrators of rape, murder, incest, and violence find redemption when they approach God with godly sorrow. This is a spiritual Law. If God forgives the offender, should the victim forgive, too? 

God’s Kingdom is not anger, unforgiveness, or bitterness but peace, joy, and love. The believer must choose the path of godly sorrow, becoming aware of the destructive consequences of vengeance, rejecting them, and embracing forgiveness and mercy instead. Only then does the victim become a victor, and only then will healing from the trauma begin. Vengence belongs to God.

It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord. (Deuteronomy 32:35, Romans 12:17-19)

Unredemptive emotional pain is an illness of the soul (heart) that prevents the believer from experiencing the fullness of life in Christ. It may proceed from wounds suffered before or after salvation. Both conditions are hallmarked by captivity foreign to the Kingdom of God. 

God designed us to accept and react to information received through our senses (smell, touch, taste, hearing, sight), with which we explore and survive in the physical environment. Physical pain alerts us of danger to our physical existence. We immediately flee from the source of pain or take steps to alleviate it. Just as physical pain indicates an affliction against the body, so is emotional pain indicative of an affliction within the soul. When we touch a hot surface, we immediately escape the source of danger. We may get a blister, but we don’t wait to see the skin engulfed in flames. 

The response to emotional pain, though, is different. It accumulates undetected, piling ache upon ache, usually over prolonged periods. Emotional and verbal abuse is a trauma that inflicts “blister” after “blister” upon the sufferer, but neither the abuser nor the victim is aware of its deadly effect. Left untreated, the blistered wounds could easily inflame. 

In most cases, the victim is tied to the abuser through family or life circumstances, which ensures inflammation that creates open, bleeding, festering wounds. No one neglects seeking medical attention for a physical wound, but a festering emotional wound is often left untreated and ultimately ignored. Also, neglect is the source of the wound. Unaware of the damaging long-term effects of emotional wounding, we are hopelessly ill-equipped to defend ourselves or those dependent on us (our children) from the causes of hurt. The irony of any abusive situation lies in the depth of emotional dependency upon and the feelings invested in the relationship: The more we love those who inflict pain on us, the more we hurt. Satan has turned the source of our love and nurture into a source of pain and death. This kind of death, however, comes unseen; its origin is hard to detect. While physical abuse is easy to prosecute based on visible evidence, emotional abuse is difficult to prove.

Emotional wounding is like a thick shroud enveloping the heart or an iron cage that holds it captive. It is a condition of indefinite imprisonment to pain and suffering. If the condition is not treated, the soul sinks further into the miry depths of despair. At some indeterminate point, suffering becomes so excruciating that death seems a desired escape. Depression and suicidal ideations are common manifestations at this stage, which is indicative of the severity of the affliction. 

When wounded individuals enter the Kingdom of God, the presence of the Holy Spirit penetrates the core of their beings, searching, cleansing, and healing. This sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit brings salvation and begins the healing of the human soul. He restores our spiritual sight and hearing. We are in a state of EHAD with God.

Healing, however, does not happen immediately upon entering the Kingdom of God. Even though salvation and healing are like the head and the tail of a coin, each takes a different time to be engraved onto the heart. While salvation is an immediate occurrence (upon confession of sin and acceptance of Christ), healing is the process of sanctification and transformation into the image of Christ. Salvation is immediate, and at that point, we are saved positionally. Salvation is also simultaneously progressive, and it happens daily on our walk on the narrow road. The Scripture tells us that to those who are being saved (1 Corinthians 1:18), sanctification is the means to our ongoing salvation, accomplished through the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit and belief in the truth (2 Thessalonians 2:13). This is the process of regaining the fullness of God as designed at the beginning of time. The knowledge of healing through sanctification and transformation in the image of Christ is an immensely valuable asset in the hands of every believer to counteract the pangs of unredemptive emotional pain. 

There is a difference between the status of the emotional wounding of a nonbeliever and a believer in Christ. While they both are captive to the same prison of emotional pain, the captivity of the believer is only subjective. Upon salvation, despite the “first love” excitement, the believer's heart may remain a prison tower, due to prior traumatic experiences. However, the land on which that tower stands has now been redeemed. God’s law of redemption postulates that all gates of the dungeon must be open wide and the subjects set free. Instead of leaping out to freedom, many believers remain bound, tightly fastened with cords of pain with no chance for the healing presence of the Spirit of God to enter and heal. Under the veil of emotional pain, these believers don’t realize they have been set free, even free from pain. They continue to wail and mourn loudly their miserable condition, begging for help, without understanding that the same law of redemption that opened the prison gates also holds the power to break the chains of captivity to emotional pain. Yes, the same power that redeems the soul from the sting of death, also heals the soul from the pangs of emotional pain. Sanctification through Jesus Christ is the way to heal the soul. 

I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. (John 14:6) 

Coming to the Father is entering through the narrow gate and stepping beyond the ripped curtain of the Holy of Holies where His presence dwells. There, facing the mercy seat, the redeemed of the Lord find healing.