Regaining Dignity - Healing From Shame 

Regaining Dignity—Healing From Shame

Unresolved traumas from sexual violence and sexually deviant behaviors are death threats to the soul, stamping individuals with a deep sense of shame. The scarring from these particular origins of shame forms a state of depravity—an existence that shrinks the soul back from life. It is the opposite of the state of dignity—the divine image God created humankind at the beginning of time. Healing from such traumatic events requires the restoration of lost dignity. One must extend genuine repentance and subsequent forgiveness toward the perpetrator. 

Depravity and dignity are two warring forces, and depending on which one has the upper hand, it determines the health of the psyche. It is like the dichotomy we faced when commanded to “love your enemies” (Matthew 5:38) and to “hate what is evil and cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9). The victims of such trauma face an impossible task: While instructed to hate the evil they endured, they must, at the same time, love their enemy, even the perpetrator. 

There are two responses to this humanly impossible task. The first response accounts for those individuals relying on their strength of character and determination to forgive and “love” the perpetrator-enemy. They display a nice attitude, avoiding tensions and conflicts. However, this is the self-preservation mechanism of numbing feelings. Once the seed of soul-numbing is sown, it rips an abundant harvest of maladaptive behaviors. While functioning within the predictable patterns of life, these individuals feel safe. The threat comes from those unpredictable circumstances that pose continuous stress over the individual. Then, despite the effort to conceal what is inside, the pain erupts from within like a volcano of anger, contempt, and hatred. Jesus described these outbursts as an illness of the soul.

Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. (Matthew 12:34) 

The case of Rosa (page 81) exemplifies this spiritual condition. The silly tug of a hanger triggered a disproportionate response that revealed the true condition of the other woman’s heart. The hanger didn’t cause her pain; the old, unresolved trauma did. 

The second response is the total reliance on the healing power of Jesus. This is the way of healing through becoming EHAD with God. This is the healing approach to trauma first introduced in session one and then in much greater details in session six.