Blood and War

Blood and War - Hunter Bednarik (South Summit High School, 12th Grade)

Warning: Intense and realistic descriptions of blood, gore, and death.

I can’t- I can’t-

Bullets. Brown eyes.

It never goes away.

I was just doing my job. It wasn’t my fault, I didn’t pull that trigger.

My pillow was drenched in tears. My entire body was crying itself dry, sobbing just like when my mother had died. I felt such pain that I thought I might die on the spot.

“Jared?”
I wasn’t alone. I opened my eyes long enough to see the bearded face of Ethan staring down at me. His eyes were brown, too. But these were different, they had life, they were still alive. He had been crying too. Without me saying anything, he sat down by my side and put his hand on my shoulder. “Are you all right, man?”
Ethan was from the South and had donned a heavy accent from his upbringing. I was from the Northwest, so we would have never met without the war.

Dammit, I thought about the war again. My brain flashed back to the day before. Hell.

Bodies, bodies, bodies. So much blood.

Another tear dripped from my eye as I looked up to Ethan. “I’m okay. I’m all right.”
He raised his eyebrow before letting out a painful laugh. His hands wrung themselves together as he looked out into the doorway. “No one’s all right, Jared. It hit us all.”

I scoffed a little bit. “Of course it did.”
I felt him throw a newspaper into my lap. I took a break from crying and looked at it.

Daily Express - 9/23

Battle of The Tenaru: Massive Japanese Loss, Big Step Toward Pushing Japs Out of the Solomon Islands

There was a big picture of American soldiers arranging the dead. I felt sick to my stomach and had to bite back on my tongue to stop from doing anything. My hands crumpled the newspaper slightly. My mind flashed back to the disgusting things I’d witnessed.

It had been the first major battle that I’d ever been in. I had woken up at the break of daylight to a voice yelling about the Japanese. I didn’t remember any words, just the quick scrambling to get dressed and armed. I heard shots out in the distance, and I grabbed my gun from under my bed and followed my other regime members out. Commands were being yelled, so I followed along as best I could. I stayed with them, curving mainly to the left before reaching a trench and all falling in line. We left the coastline, where our barracks were, and fell deeper into the tropical forest. We knew where we were going. We had practiced this. We were prepared. But this was real.

“Fall in! We got the Japanese on the coast! 48th is holding them off, so for now, we are reinforcements. There are more Japanese on their way-” The commander's voice was cut off by a gunshot in the distance.

“They’re here! They’re here!”

I peeked my head over the trench and I saw about three dozen Japanese soldiers marching toward us. With the gunshot, they began to scatter, hiding behind trees and looking around. 

I took a deep breath in and pulled out my dog tag, pressing it to my forehead and saying a quick prayer. I was not a religious man, but war was enough to make a soldier do anything. I dropped my tag back in my shirt and grabbed my gun, palms sweaty as I lifted it to the ridge. I held it carefully, softly, scanning my surroundings. There.

A Japanese man stood behind a tree, breathing heavily. I moved the gun, aiming directly for his center mass. I took a breath before lightly pulling the trigger.

The bullet was supposed to make a sound, but I couldn’t hear anything over the cacophony in my mind and on the field. The only indicator was the hole that suddenly tore through the man. Blood emptied from his face and gushed out the bullet hole. His eyes stared down at it before he dropped to the ground. Dead. Dead.

What have I done?

I had no time to think about the magnitude of my actions. The Japanese were yelling now, retreating. They had already lost about a dozen of their men. 

I let out a sigh, watching all the Japanese retreat. Was it over?
I felt the air push into my head as a bullet zipped past. I cursed and ducked my head under the trench line. It was not over. 

I turned to my left to see my commander, Luke Springer, peeking over the line. I saw him stand up and I saw him scan the forest. When he deemed it clear, I saw him take a breath in to speak.

Pop. Pop. Pop.

Three holes appeared in Luke, two in his chest and one in his stomach. A surprised look crossed his face as his arms reached up to feel the bullet wounds. He collapsed to the ground and I yelled something, something unintelligible amongst the ricochet in my head. I dropped my gun and dove toward him, catching him before he hit the dirt. “Commander!” I lowered him gently, staring at the pieces missing from his body. Blood was already gushing into his uniform, staining it a dark red. “Commander!” I yelled again, much too loud. I finally understood that I would have to do something. I had no bandages on my body, so I took off my vest and ripped off my shirt instead, wrapping it around his chest as best I could.

“Help!” I screamed. I knew there were already people on their way, but I didn’t know or didn’t care. “Help!”

I felt a hand grip my shoulder and I turned back down to my commander’s pale face. His brown eyes saw me, but they were fading. “Listen here, boy,” He said, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. “Tell my family that I love them, all right?” His hand dropped to mine and I felt him give me something. When I opened my fist, I saw a dog tag, complete with his name and serial number. There was blood on it, and it stained my hand as I closed my fist and nodded. “Yes, sir.”
He smiled a little bit, coughing. By that point, nearly a half dozen soldiers had surrounded me and Luke, all standing up or kneeling. There was nothing to be done. 

“One more thing, k-kids.” His brown eyes locked with mine, tears dripping down and mingling with the blood from his mouth. “When you all get back from the war, I want you to visit my grave. Bring some flowers, all right?” The light was dimming.

I could feel my tears hitting the ground. My hands were bloody from the bandage and Luke’s dog tag. 

I could see the moment his heart stopped beating, the moment his spirit left his hole-filled body. His eyes stayed open, staring at the sky as if they could see himself finally rising.

It was quiet, so quiet that I thought I was hallucinating. The world had stopped spinning for just a moment, while the blood continued to spill. Ethan knelt down and pushed Luke’s eyelids closed. When he stood back up, I could see tears in his eyes. Everyone else kneeled there, quiet and in disbelief. We waited there for so long, our own silent vigil for our commander.

Distant gunshots brought us out of our grief. Our second in command, Dillan, snapped to attention and started shouting names. “Ethan, Donny, get that body back to the tents. We should have a funeral. The rest are with me.”
Everyone nodded, no one else speaking. Donny came up behind me and pulled me away, staring at me with his blue eyes. His black hair was mussed by the helmet and his clean-shaven face was plastered with dirt and cut with tears like a river. He patted me on the shoulder before gesturing to Ethan and hoisting the body up. A random soldier screamed, “Wait!” And they stopped, looking up and around for the voice. It was Dillan again. “Stay along the trench line for the next half mile. We’ll have the Red Squad accompany you. Keep safe.”
I was confused. Why wasn’t I with them? I was Blue Squad, and I couldn’t disobey my orders, but I wanted to help.

Instead, I felt a hand on my back and I looked up to see Dillan staring down at me. He had green eyes that shimmered weirdly in the light. “You okay, son?”
I nodded and stood up, brushing off my legs. “I’ll be fine.”
“Sorry I didn’t send you with ‘em. Thought it was best for you to not be close to the body.”
“I understand, sir.”
“Grab your gun, soldier. We need to make it back to the 48th just in case. You good to go?”
“Yes, sir.” I made my way over and picked up my gun, taking in a breath before looking over at Dillan. “Ready when needed, sir.”
Dillan nodded before turning over and yelling commands to the others with us. “There may be Japanese left, so keep guard. We will take a straight path right back to the barracks and work down the coastline from there. We will be coming from behind our own men, so be careful. Understood?”
“Yes, sir!” The regimen echoed. Dillan nodded and moved up to the edge of the trench line. “We will keep a steady pace. Green!”
The entirety of the Green Squad stood up and started walking fast, guns in hand as they scanned the tree line. They had made it nearly 500 feet when Dillan yelled, “White!”
The next squad followed and I kept a grip on my gun, palms sweating.

“Blue!”

I stood up, crawling out of the trench and scanning the battlefield before falling in behind my squad. I saw at least three dozen bodies, mostly Japanese but some American. I knew we would get them later, but it hurt me to see them just blood and skin in the mud. 

I saw open eyes.

I almost thought I hallucinated it before I heard a foreign voice whisper, “Dogface.”

I had been called that name a lot, sometimes by friends and sometimes by foes. This time, it was a Japanese man with a hole in his stomach leaning against a tree. His hand was soaked in blood from his abdomen. I turned and, against my better judgment, I moved over to him and knelt. I saw Dillan slow down, staring at me but keeping his distance. The Japanese soldier looked up at me, face a mask of pain. “I’m sorry, Dogface.” His voice was raspy, his eyes were dark as the tree bark behind him.

“Is there any way I can help you?”
He shook his head. “Death will take me back soon enough. I do not want your pity.” His English was not bad, I could luckily understand him.
I nodded, a tear unwillingly dripping from my eye.

“Will you do me a favor?” He beckoned me to come closer. As I did, he wrapped his arm around my neck and pulled me down with surprising strength. I cursed and tried to pull away, but he pressed my face into the dirt and I immediately lost all sense of direction. I felt my nose snap as I hit the solid layer of rocks and roots, dirt filling my mouth and eyes. I screamed into the ground as he slammed my head, once, twice, three times before pulling me back up and staring at me. I lazily swung and hit the soldier square on the jaw, but the Jap only smiled, unfazed by my weak attempt at self-defense. “Sorry, Dogface.” His hands reached into his equipment and pulled out a pistol. I saw straight down the barrel as he leveled it toward my head.

Pop.

I saw the Japanese soldier’s skull split nearly in two as a bullet cleaved through the bone. It pressed him back up into the tree and glued the back of his skull to the bark. I screamed a little bit and pulled away, now free from his grip. His arm slumped down and the pistol hit the ground beside him. His blood had sprayed my face, and I wiped it away as fast as I could. I was using every bone in my body to keep myself from throwing up. I looked back at the one who’d put the bullet through his head and I locked eyes with Dillan. He stared at me, the rifle still pointed at the body. As he dropped it down to rest position, he walked toward me. “Today is not your day, is it?”
I shook my head, trying to decide between laughing and breaking down. “Not at all.”
The blood was fire. The blood was fire on my skin and it wouldn’t wipe away. I scraped at my face and scrubbed but nothing would go away. Tears only added to the burn on my cheeks. I didn’t know if it was my own blood or the Japs. 

“Let’s get you to the medic, soldier. The other squads can handle this.” Dillan looked around and saw the entire Blue Squad staring at us. He gestured for them to keep moving. “I’m taking Jared to the pill pusher, stay en route.”
They all nodded and continued going. I walked slowly away, still scrubbing my face. I thought I might rub my face raw before the burning was gone. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw either the Japanese soldier with his skull split open or Luke with the bullet holes. I cried a little bit more, ignoring Dillan’s hand on my shoulder. My heartbeat started to rise and I started breathing heavily. 

“How far are the meds?”
“Probably two miles.”
My heart slammed in my chest and I saw the Japanese soldier again, his brain splitting open in slow motion. I saw the bullets ripping through Luke again, I saw the bullets. I saw the Japanese man sitting in the dirt with his head stuck to the tree, a bullet hole in his head. I saw the other Japanese man I had killed. I saw them all.

No, no, no.

I can’t- I can’t-

Thank you so much for taking the time to read! I wrote this to showcase some of the horrors of war and how normal, everyday people can be affected by it. I know it may not be what you’re looking for, but I appreciate you reading it and I hope you enjoyed it! After my own personal consideration of joining the military, followed by my realization that I wanted different things, I wanted to write a realistic story about how it works. I did some in depth research on location, setting, and more to try and weave an accurate read for you all. Thank you!

-Hunter Bednarik