Weekly Inventory
A weekly look at what we have and what we may need.

Part 1 / Celebrating what's been going well

i.e. “I think what’s been going well for us is _____.” 

Whatever you focus on expands. Whatever you appreciate, appreciates. According to Mel Robbins, Dr. Dennis Waitley and countless others, when you look for and underscore things that have been going well (even just a little better) your brain will unconsciously screen future events to present you even more evidence. 

And with more evidence that things are going well, you are more motivated to fan the flames of these new, improved, aspects of your relationship! 

Note that as you review what's going well, it may occur to you what you'd like to see go better- which is what happens in Part 2, below. 

Part 2 / What We Need More Of

1) Revisiting/reviewing and re-enrolling into existing, important agreements i.e. Date night schedule, How we handle disagreements in front of the kids etc.

One of the best ways to introduce Part 2 is to ask, "How could I have come through for you better this last week?"

Note that in most cases this piece is simply to add continuity to guidance provided in "Nightly Check-In" i.e. "I have a request I'd like to make. Would that be O.K.?"  However, sometimes you'll want to update a sensitive existing agreement (Refer to your “Request List”).  

2) Request something you need more of & if possible get into agreement about it, going forward i.e. more "us" time, more chit chat, more date nights etc. 

You may want to start with something like, “I've got something else I’d like to cover today. Would that be alright?” 
Once you have the floor (and hopefully, his or her heart), you could peacefully and respectfully talk about whatever the issue is, including a new, specific request or a renewal of an existing agreement. 

You may want to do the Love Seat format (very structured)… or, at least take a look at the "Request List Protocol" first i.e. "It makes me anxious to make requests and I want to do this right, so I'm going to look at this first. Would you be willing to review this with me before I make the request?"  This may seem over the top in terms of process, but you will find these little moments of padding and politeness worth their weight in gold.   

or, Would you be willing to do a "Love Seat" on this?

Click here for "Request List Protocol" or "here for "Love Seat."  

For even better results with Part 1, you could review what's going well in writing.

There's something about writing it down that causes an even deeper gratitude for it, awareness of the path that led to it and as mentioned, an increased desire to experience it again (to repeat it the next week).

Your list could include what went well or anything you feel supports a better marriage i.e. health habits, service, important projects etc.   

The example below also shows agreements you might have arrived at in this Inventory.  

March 3, 2023 - Weekly Inventory

Went well

• Best Valentine's day ever!

• Explored the meaning of symbols in a long, wonderful conversation. 

• Stayed congruent with our calendar to a large extent (Narelle even more so).

• Recorded "Time in a Bottle" a painstaking but satisfying process at the recording studio.

• Served our good friend Ron with soup. 

• Served and touched Craig's life with a Bible study manual he's been wanting.

• Invited Nicole for Daddy Daughter date.

• Sent invites to Stephen and Kayla for sleep overs.

• Narelle took time out when I was onry vs. being reactive. Later I repented. 

Agreements

• John agreed to avoid interrupting Narelle.

• Narelle agreed to go sailing more often.

Note that the agreements you make are about you and visa versa. Your memorialization in your Weekly Inventory folder is to help you remember what you have agreed to- not to help you follow up with your spouse on his or her agreements.