Agreement 4 in the "9 Agreements" is "Love vs. Control"
We give not just what we'd like to give, or what's easiest to give. We give what's needed- and some gifts are easier to give than others. In every relationship, in every moment, you have an opportunity to live in your boundaries by giving what you feel needs to be given. Your challenge in this is to train your mind away from control and toward what's best give. Here are some options on what you can give, as inspired: ​
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•  Forgiveness (which may require breakthrough)​

•  Validate his or her’s position or feelings vs. making him or her wrong.​

•  Seek understanding …leading to more love, validation, patience & solutions.​

•  Seek clarification “Tell me more about___” or “So what was going on when ____?”​

•  Provide clarification i.e. “I know it seems like ___What’s really up with me is___.”

•  Apology... creates a soften heart in you and in him or her.​

•  Service or gifts (i.e., clean garage or a surprise cruise)​

•  Patience and/or encouragement (cheerleading)​

•  Unloaded requests (Just the request vs. the back story)​

•  Request for restitution (Explaining the path back to your heart. Actions speak louder than words.) ​

•  Offer of restitution ("I see how I’ve hurt you. What could I do for you that would show you where my heart is?")​

•  Probation (Providing time to decide his or her level of commitment. This might included a physical separation.)​

•  Talk Cards - the gift of a peaceful conversation.​