As I lay there looking up at my ceiling, I think of all the fun times I had with my friends. Ever since we moved to the US I’ve been feeling like a piece of me is missing. I don’t feel safe or happy here. All the kids at my school and even some of the adults treat me poorly because of my skin color and where I came from. I’m not as different from them as they think. We're all humans and we all have emotions. But it seems like they don’t care about how I feel. They think of me as an alien or almost like a monster. If they don’t laugh at me they run from me. I’ve heard mama and papa use the word Alianasion a couple of times when talking about what people think of us, but it’s not fair! I want to go home. What did mama and papa do that was so horrible we had to leave?
I remember papa walking through the door looking scared and nervous. “Papa! Welcome home!” I said as he walked in
“A-are you ok?” I asked as I noticed he was sweating and out of breath.
“Mi amor, something has come up and I need you and your sisters to pack as much of your stuff as you can and get in the car” he said. “Where’s your mother?”
“S-she’s upstairs. P-papa what's going on?”
“Don’t worry about it mi amor. Do what I said please and meet us in the car.”
“Ok.”
I was nervous and very confused. I got all my sisters in the car with a good bit of our clothing, blankets, toys, and snacks. From the window of our car I watched as my home slowly disappeared and everyone with it as the car drove farther and farther away. I had no time to say goodbye to anyone and my mind was running through a whole lot of questions like, where are we going? What's going on? Are we in trouble? Are we coming back? Why are we leaving all of a sudden?
“Papa? Mama? What’s happening?” I finally asked as the car picked up speed.
“Don’t worry about it my little angel, now get some rest. I promise it’ll be ok.” mamma said.
“Ok mamma.” I answered as I closed my eyes and tried to get comfy.
I’ve been here for a few months now and I hate every second of it. I have absolutely no friends and no way to contact my old friends. I get bullied at school and it feels like I’m given no freedom. Mamma and papa are always asking me how I feel and if I’m ok. I know they love me so much and they did what was best for all of us but I wake up every morning feeling sick and sad. It also doesn’t help that I can’t speak the same language as everyone else. Not being able to speak English makes it hard for me to understand what I need to do. When I try to pronounce something in English it gets caught on my tongue and comes out in Spanish and all the kids around me laugh and call me names. I miss my home and my family. All the yummy smells of home cooked foods. Here they don’t have any of the snacks we had at our old home. I also left some of my old toy’s at that house and I want them back.
I’m told that I'm a strong and brave girl but I don’t feel brave or strong. I lay awake at night staring into space replaying the day we left. It makes me sad and I start crying. This is a big change for me and my family. A change that will take some time to get used to. But I know my family is right behind me and that they will help me through all of this. I just have to give it some time. And I will put in a lot of work and dedication to do my best even when it feels impossible. I know I’ll get through this.