No choice. Big change.

What is the biggest physical change that you can imagine going through? When I had the chance to sit on a minibus with a woman this week, I decided to make the most of our 11 hour ride together.

I make a living out of helping people and organisations to go through change through asking the right questions and creating safe conditions for people to answer them. So here I went asking away about her and her transgender friends’ experience and process of changing gender.

My new friend expressed her frustration about her country’s law that requires individuals to visit and to get approval from a government approved psychologist before getting a sex change operation.

My friend shared her belief that the government should just take the individual’s word for it, acting according to their will in regards to decisions that concern their body. I voiced a different perspective by asking what value a psychologist could have. I suggested that perhaps before deciding to go through such a huge change a conversation with a trained psychologist my help.

My friend looked straight into my eyes, using her hands for emphasis, stating that, “getting a sex change is no choice”.

This hit me hard.

Thereafter, we discussed that perhap’s a psychologist’s role should rather be to prepare an individual and help them to adapt to the change. We agreed on this point.

Reflecting after our conversation, I thought about the risks and realities that transgenders face. They may lose their friends, family, job and livelihood as a result. To risk all that, their conviction and need (not choice) must be incredibly strong.

I cannot imagine going through a more drastic physical change “by choice” than changing my gender. Can you? And the emotional journey is equally dramatic. My one conviction that may equal my friend’s is the belief, physical and emotional need to practice and to help spread SALT.

With a strong conviction and internal drive, humans are unstoppable.

What are your convictions?