Changes beyond my dreams!

A story of Local Response by Rokaiya Parween

This story is about a girl who came from a small town. She belonged to a closed society where girls were not given their liberty, the freedom to work, to live alone or to move to other places. Things started to change when I was looking for a job and the possibilities that came to me were projects on HIV/AIDS. I received calls to come for interview from organisations but my parents were not willing to allow me to attend the interviews. Their thinking was that if I were to work on HIV/AIDS projects, then I would have to talk about sex and condoms. That is not acceptable in our society; people will not think well about you.

I was very depressed about this, since I was in need of a job. I just wanted to work. I started to persuade my parents just to allow me to attend the interview. I said that it was not certain that I would be selected for a position. I told them that it would enhance my confidence. Slowly I started to convince my father. Finally, he gave me permission to attend an interview. The interview went well and I was selected for the job.

My next great challenge was to convince them to allow me to work. Somehow I managed to get their permission. It took me 4-5 days to sleep without food in order to get their permission. Since I had been without a job for more than 6 months, there was urgency to get into the world of work.

To be frank, I was also apprehensive about working in the project where I would have to visit FSW and MSM sites and to talk openly about condoms and sex. Finally, I joined and it was a totally new experience for me. I was excited to visit those sites and meet the HRGs.

When I joined the project, my father and sisters asked me not to reveal to anyone that I was working in the field of HIV/AIDS. But slowly, things changed…

I came back to my home town twice a year to visit my parents. When I was home, I started to share stories of my work and the people with whom I was working. My family came to know about this strange world; it was strange for them because they were not aware of the life and the reality of these people.

I told them about my work place. They were very interested: they listened to me and asked me questions. The first time I noticed a change in them was when they asked me question about FSWs and MSMs. Then on the next visit, they asked me about HRGs. They even said that earlier they had thought that these women were bad because they sold their bodies. But now their thinking had changed: they took pity on them, they said that they are also human beings and it was their profession that allowed them to earn bread and to sustain their family.

Now my parents appreciate my work and they have come to tell their friends and relatives that their daughter is doing a noble job.

This is what I have learned from my experience. When we talk to people about behaviour change, we need to take lots of time. We should first try to understand our audience and then we need to adjust the way we talk to them. In my case, I find the thinking of my parents who are in their 50s is quite different from the thinking of my sisters who are in their late 20s and so I need to have different strategies when I speak to them.