Last year, you were background noise,
just another boy in my class.
But this year, you shine bright.
Now the air hums differently.
I remind myself, I don’t stand a chance.
We have moles in similar spots,
something secret we could keep between us.
But I don’t stand a chance.
You carry yourself with gentle pride,
humble but confident, the kind of calm I like.
Just like me, you’re reserved.
Just like me, you're growing in your faith
the kind of man I like
Still, I remind myself, I don’t stand a chance.
You seem warm, and when you pass by,
jazz plays in the back of my mind.
Your gaze. It’s steady, soft, intentional, and kind.
It makes me nervous; my pulse betrays me every time.
And when you laugh, the world rewinds.
But still, I don’t stand a chance.
We play a game of glance and hide.
For you, I’ll settle for eye tag.
As if my heart isn’t chasing yours.
But again, I don’t stand a chance.
Sometimes I sit in my room,
thinking of the trends we could do.
Me beside you.
Lip-syncing to a song
Maybe a Lana Del Rey one.
You feel like her music.
You’re so Lana coded.
Then I remember, I don’t stand a chance.
Still, I tell myself you’re off-limits.
You’re the story I'm not brave enough to start.
The page I’m not ready to turn.
The line I keep rereading,
again and again.
Not because I'm stuck, but rather I want to learn it by heart.
Even if you never look my way,
your name is engraved in my thoughts.
Even if you don’t notice me like I notice you.
But still, I don’t stand a chance
But still, I want to get to know you.
I was inspired to write this poem because there is a movie called To All The Boys I’ve Ever Loved, which is about a girl who wrote love letters to all the guys she's ever been interested in/fallen in love with, but never sent them because she was too scared. For me, though, I wanted to write a poem and publish it because I feel like many girls would relate. My process in writing this poem took me a while to write because I wasn’t sure how to express what I felt and turn them into words, as I was trying to romanticize having a crush. I personally feel like when you like someone from school, it becomes interesting and easy to get out of bed. It took some time to make the poem small and less like an essay because I wanted it to seem shy but also expressive of what my feelings would be like. I used repetition, particularly the line “ I don’t stand a chance” to emphasize the self-doubt I have. I used imagery and sensory details like “ jazz plays in the back of my mind” and “ your gaze..steady, soft, intentional” to create somewhat of a cinematic feeling. I used references like Lana Del Rey to try to describe how I feel. The poem is structured in short stanzas that alternate between observation and reflection. Each stanza builds on my emotional journey and gradually layers admiration and nervousness. The final stanza slightly shifts to show vulnerability and hope, creating a sense of resolution. I explore longing and vulnerability, along with finding the courage to realize feelings and express them by putting them into words. I drew inspiration from Lana Del Rey’s songs, which emphasize nostalgia, romanticized melancholy, and cinematic imagery. I'm a young writer who captured the intensity and vulnerability of a human connection by combining music and emotion.