It was already past seven in the afternoon just as the sunlight passed the tip of the tall pines when the black Mercedes pulled into the driveway of the two brick townhouse in central Philadelphia. A man emerged from the car in a half-wrinkled suit walking towards the trunk of the car before opening it. The man's wife, Barbra, looked out through the window as the man seemed to pick up a black box from the back of his car. This wasn't an unusual sight for her though. Her husband was known for collecting strange things and bringing them home, so this was normal for both of them. The husband unlocked the door and entered the house being greeted by Barbra. She could tell that her husband was visibly struggling to keep the box in his arms as if what was inside had an immense amount of weight. The husband, David, was a burling 6’4 guy with a large beard that covered his lower face. For anyone who saw him on the streets, they would say he was intimidating looking, but his friends and family would tell you he was the nicest person you could imagine. David's life wasn't always as calm and easy going as it had been of late, 2 years ago he was involved in an intense work accident wich caused him to have his entire left eye removed. Not long after, his wife of 7 years divorced him for some reason Barbra didn't know why. But, David was thankful to now have a loving girlfriend along with a job that surpassed the financial needs of both of them. Now Barbra didn't know exactly where or what David did for work, but the money was so abundant, she didn't feel the need to ask any questions. Setting down the large box, David wiped the sweat trickling down his forehead and asked Barbra for a glass of water. He told Barbra as he pulled out his phone that he had been waiting all day to open the box and that now was the time. The sense of uncertainty lingered in the dimly lit kitchen room. Despite David's rocky past, he had always been a happy man, but Barbra could tell something was different. David was unusually anxious to open the box as if he didn't know what lay inside. David started fidgeting with the thick latches attached to the side of the box in an attempt to open it. Once the box was open, Barbra could see that there were 2 large plastic trash bags with zip ties keeping the bags closed. David took out both bags and set them on the kitchen tile and proceeded to break the zip tie and open the bag revealing what seemed to be 7 neat but endless stacks of crisp looking 100 dollar bills in each bag . Barbra stood there in shock when she took a peek inside the bag. She felt as if time itself stopped and the only thing keeping her in reality was her husband uncontrollably laughing as if someone had just told him a joke. After David was done laughing, he grabbed the glass of water sitting on the wooden table beside him and gulped it down. David was proud of himself as he had just made the biggest payday in his career. Before Barbra could open her mouth to muster out a question, David cut her off saying, “I can't believe I pulled this off”. Right as he said that, The floodgates opened in Barbras mind with millions of new questions for David like how and where did he get all of the money from inside the 2 bags? David's mystery job paid well, but knew there was no way this was his pay. Barbara finally pulled herself together and almost yelled at David asking him where he got the money from. David reached down and took his large rubber boots and set them by the table before sitting on a chair. David told Barbra that he had a major confession to make. He proceeded to tell Barbra something about him that almost made her drop dead on the spot. David, her loving boyfriend whom she saw and lived with everyday, was actually one of the country's biggest bank thieves in history. His “job” was scouting and robbing from banks for his profit. The reason Barbra didn't know about this from the start was because she never had access into David's bank account. He just gave her money whenever they would run low.
My story was not really inspired by anything and more just my mind just showing creativity and imagination flowing out onto the keyboard and letting my thoughts run free. I heard a story. I heard a story on a podcast once about a famous serial killer coming out to his wife about his acts before he died, which is where I got the idea of a serial bank robber hiding his true past and self from his wife. This gave me an opportunity to create distinct imagery and details about the main character's life.
The story introduces the feeling of mystery and suspense throughout the story with the husband bringing home the black box. In a way the story reflects the idea about the significance of a person's past during a relationship as their actions and behavior could carry on into the future. The story vaguely highlights open and communicating to each other in a relationship to learn more about each other. The story could also serve as a reminder to ask questions and be curious about anything and anyone before you get into a relationship so you won't be surprised in the relationship.
The dialogue, direct characterization, as well as actions and behavior were the strategies of characterization I used in the story. Details such as the main character's weird past and the lingering mystery about what he did for work relate to the uncertainty in the relationship and idea of asking questions about people that might seem off to you so that you won't be surprised about their past later on. The issue of uncertainty in the relationship.
Brainstorming and revising helped regarding the writing processes I was using while writing the story. I used the “Zoom Yoga” story as my mentor text to see how I could recreate a character with the same amount of disconnect and mystery as the character in that short story.