I always wondered how people become who they are. I first met Brian under the faltering streetlamp at 7th and Alameda. His dark shadow radiated such an ominous aura, blurred by the powerful rain that refused to stop. He was always different even in his basic habits, he never walked rather he slithered like a gecko on ice. If he wasn’t in a hurry, his rhythmic motions swirled and wafted, in such a slow mannerism but always impossible to pinpoint. The city reeked in his presence. His pants were always grimy from oil, the faint yet robust smell of gasoline emitted by his 90’s polo jacket. The rhinestone belt that seemed to always carry his “lucky” wrench. It was painfully obvious what his day job was, the filthy grimy amount of grease beneath his nails halted more than words could. However, his night duty was always a mystery.
His garage was your typical hollowed shell crammed between a weed shop and cafe that was opened 24/7. The garage however, seemed like it was alive, creeping out many people that visited. The dark corners seemed filled with shadows that just stared you down. Blazing lights buzzed reminding me of crickets at night, with shelves filled to the brim with tools. The stench of old coffee and gasoline seemed vigorous as it flowed through the air. Brian was always silent as if he was muted, when he was working. It always agitated him to speak when in a working mode. I always had a suspicion of the way he worked, his mannerisms were too clean and perfect for your usual mechanic. His gentleness and precision made him one of the best mechanics in town. He was too perfect and always knew what was wrong almost if the car confessed their errors to him solely. His garage felt less like a place of work but a mirror of what the city truly was. A shadow lurked where corruption hid just beneath ordinary life.
I made the mistake of not following my intuition. I should have known Brian wasn’t just a mechanic. The first time that I saw his hands go in an up and down motion, trembling rapidly wasn’t from exhaustion, rather from such strong adrenaline. Such a sequence happened right after he had torched a car with apparent evidence in the trunk. The 2001 Mazda with a violet red that reminded me of plums was seen in such strong blazing fire. His expression was a measly laugh but not just any laugh. Such psychotic behavior, a sharp deliberate laugh one you wouldn’t forget echoed forcefully. Word on the street was that he had bruised 3 chicano males over a deal. I knew he was some type of addict but such violence I had never expected. Reminiscing back on times, the signs were there and I was too naive to realize. However no one could prove it, the blood on Figueroa St was washed from the merciless rain. His drowsy eyes carried the same look from many of the dangerous serial killers I had caught in my time. His every twitch portrayed someone who had crossed the line many times, each sin covered by the muck of oil. The engines were simply an alibi, his fake persona ever so slightly was crumbling over such immense pressure. It was only natural that he had to let the beast unleash. The city kept breathing around his notorious self covering the monster he was. Brian was no anomaly, a true symbol of the city’s hidden violence represented in human flesh, the mask that Los Angeles itself wore in disguise.
In the blissful morning, with a radiating sun, the city had come back to life with noises swelling anyone's ears. The vendors screaming their lungs away, sirens blaring the air, the usual bus honking and road rage oversaw the city of LA. Brian was nowhere to be found. It was like he was a ghost almost like he never existed. To the general public he was just a mechanic disappearing into the grey monotonous sprawl. I had seen those eyes however, lingering inspecting every corner of the dingy alleyway. His shoulders were stiffer than a mannequin, combined with his stealthy padded steps quickly silencing. He was truly a phantom walking as if he was hunting his prey. Brian never expressed any sense of threat even after being under suspicion. Brian was the type of man you didn’t ask questions about, a myth composed together from the stench of motor oil and the silhouette of shadows.
Honestly, when I first started writing this piece I didn’t know where I wanted it to go or end. I was originally going to start with some deviation of the show “Dexter” but through some reflections I was able to create my own storyline with some aspects of what I think make Dexter interesting. I wanted to reflect the idea that ordinary people can carry some extraordinary darkness that they learn to control and hide from the real world. Dexter similarly, has his “dark passenger” which is his malice to do justice through the actions of killing. I wanted to hide Brian’s monster and didn’t want to give it away until actions reflected it. I wanted Brian to blend into the Los Angeles city notorious for its high crime rate while also being known for something he wasn’t. That is where I came to the idea that I wanted him to be one of the best mechanics however, have that eerie feeling/aura. I also got this idea from Dexter because Dexter is one of the best forensic analysts in LAPD which is his mask towards covering his intentions of being a vigilante. This in return made me create Brian someone who lives in the shadows yet is half human, half symbol in the sense that he is a mechanic in day and someone dangerous in the night time.
Not only do I want the reader to understand the ideals presented by Brian but beyond his characterization. Brian reflects more than just human conditions and the dangers of the real world. This story was written with the intention to describe how humans are always constantly wearing masks. Specifically, how easy it is to mask someone's inner darkness to hide beneath the surface of normalcy. Many people pass through that eerie mechanic shop yet no one questions what kind of mastermind is behind the oil stained jacket and buzzing light bulbs. No one thinks about how society as a whole wears disguises that conceal corruption, addiction, and violence. LA city is known for its glamorous tourist places but no one pays attention to the layer under the surface. The amount of decay, unemployment, homelessness and many more moral issues are some of the few negatives in a city that preaches “perfection.” Dexter also had influence in this part because Dexter works with the very same detectives that are hunting him constantly. Brian is a friendly mechanic yet a dangerous predator roams beneath. My story emphasizes that evil isn’t meant to stand out in society but it is always in our presence whether it be disguised in routine, habits, or joyfulness. In a sense I want the reader to question and think about how authentic their daily lives are. The ultimate question is how much of life is performative, fake, or concealed?
One of my favorite yet intentional choices on how to characterize Brian was through the strong descriptive sensory details rather than through simple narration. Through the 5 senses, I was able to slowly show signs and signals of the monster Brian was. The gasoline in his 90’s polo jacket is more than just describing his work, rather it is a simple foreshadowing to the gasoline used to set the car on fire. The buzzing lights create a certain atmosphere beyond the setting, it is a resemblance of the restless city of Los Angeles where stillness is not available. It also shows how corruption is never turning off and is always present. I wanted to blend Brian into the human he was meant to be that blended into such a city with impact that blurs the line between the actual characterization and place. Brian is not different from the city but he is a true representation of the city beyond the surface. The shadows of flesh make Brian become flesh and it reflects the universal idea that environment and identity are impacted/intertwined. We are shaped by what we are exposed to.
My writing was inspired by the crime shows and vigilante readings that give us insight on why the character works in such manners. Specifically, Dexter’s personal narration made it way easier to understand and be able to characterize someone like Brian. The show, Dexter, keeps a cold yet flashy type of mood throughout the entirety which is what I tried to mirror when writing through the perspective. The story regarding Brian is both in 1st person and 3rd person as the narrator is a police officer that is describing Brian numerous times. This is similar to Dexter because although Dexter talks in 1st person most of the show, there are times where he is describing his victims or the police department that is hunting him. His usage of description and gives the watcher an idea of what is going through is an important impact that keeps Dexter from being boring and keeps watcher engaged. I didn’t want to create a cliche of some random dangerous criminal. Brian was meant to surpass a simple stereotype by making his violence more suggestive and atmospheric through descriptions on how the blood was washed away from the strong rain and his creep manners. His maniac laugh that echoed the alleys is a comparison to Dexter because Dexter wouldn’t slip in such a manner. I wanted to include this because Dexter was trained and meant to be a vigilante unlike Brian who only became violent after being exposed to corruption through his childhood. I think if I was meant to make any revisions, I would want to imply more of Brian inner monologue similar to Dexter to create different parallels to the narrator, the police officer, and also to add some type of sympathy with the reader.
When Brian is seen setting up the “2001 violet red Mazda” on blazing fire shows the influence of the details. Another example is when describing the type of laugh which gives the reader an important visual especially when described as a measly laugh that was sharp and deliberate. This was one of the important pacing examples because I specifically focus on one of his actions to show how important these factors are. They are important due to the fact that they contradict Brian’s original character which was made to appear more nonchalant. I slowed down at an important moment to get the reader to process everything and then drop an explosive violent action. In a way before Dexter gets a kill, he lingers around and reminisces and almost gives the reader an explanation. The laugh is meant to bring the reader closer to the scene because you can imagine the sinister laugh echoing loudly. Similar to Dexter’s personal narration, the laugh becomes both observational yet intimate where the constant tension catches up to the reader.
The main thing I learned about writing this narrative is that being able to balance details that “show” with details that make the reader inference are important to keeping the story flowing and interesting. Such small details are important because they carry such symbolic weight if placed in the right context. Dexter, my main source of inspiration, also implied the importance of narrative voicing which can add sympathy to the reader even for someone who would be seen as monstrous in today’s society. People who watch Dexter are rooting for Dexter and are amused by the fact that he isn’t caught. Dexter is made into a character that goes against our morals yet is so likeable that makes us want him to continue doing his vigilante work. I wanted Brian to be more real to human kind. Brian is meant to resemble a human who does have flaws unlike Dexter who is always perfect. Brian was meant to be more a metaphor to the ideals of corruption beneath casual city life rather than a cold blooded murder. I wanted the reader to almost feel disturbed not in Brian’s character but the realization that not everyone is who they project themselves to be. For instance, I wanted them to understand that people are constantly hiding who they really are and I want them to realize society is truly an embodiment of fakeness.