Enneagram Type 3

The Success-Oriented, Pragmatic Type: Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious. The Achiever is an Energic type with a lot of self-awareness that could turn into someone empowered. They are pure potential and determination.

Threes are driven, efficient and enterprising. They are high-energy people who believe in themselves and in developing their talents. Threes want to achieve success as it is defined by their culture, their family or their social circle. In order to meet this goal, they perform in ways that will earn them praise and attention – which is why they are often called “Performers“.

Threes are great at getting things done, but they have trouble accessing their own feelings and develop a sense of who they are - apart from how others see them. In their need to be seen as successful, they can become workaholic, dishonest and even start pretending to be someone they actually aren't.

Energetic and purposeful, Enneagram type 3 are one of those people that encourage others to do great and big things. They know it’s possible because they’ve done it themselves. They can achieve what other people have a hard time trying to achieve. A lot of people feel inspired by the Achiever and the Achiever’s self-esteem.

They’re The Model, The Communicator, The Status Seeker. When they meet their purpose, nothing can hold them back. That determination is crucial to keep Enneagram Type 3s in tune with their main interest: success. They can always go higher, do things better, and stand out. That’s The Achiever style and it works well for them until they feel under pressure. When faced with this, Type Threes can’t rest, but they also can’t quit. People, put your sunglasses on because the 3s are ready to shine! Type Three is the type that usually looks the most impressive when observed from the outside. They are charming, attractive and seem to have it all together at all times. They work hard, and in fact can seem to still be “on the job“, even in their off-time. Threes can be very inspiring, and they usually don’t have trouble having lots of admirers.

Threes know how to get things done quickly, efficiently and with the most chance for success. They know how to sell themselves, and basically anything else too. They have an amazing eye for what other people want and then turn into the person that can give them exactly that. Behind their glittering appearance, however, Threes are goaded by a relentless driver that is never satisfied with their achievements, always demanding more. Other people get the sense that not everything can be as glamorous as Threes present it, which let’s them appear superficial, hollow and inauthentic.

  We have named personality type Three The Achiever because when they are healthy, Threes really can and do achieve great things in the world. They are the “stars” of human nature, and people often look up to them because of their graciousness and personal accomplishments. Healthy Threes know how good it feels to develop themselves and contribute their abilities to the world, and also enjoy motivating others to greater personal achievements than others thought they were capable of. They are usually well regarded and popular among their peers, the type of person who is frequently voted “class president” or “home coming queen” because people feel they want to be associated with this kind of person who acts as a stand-in for them. Healthy Threes embody the best in a culture, and others are able to see their hopes and dreams mirrored in them.

Threes are often successful and well liked because, of all the types, they most believe in themselves and in developing their talents and capacities. Threes act as living “role models” and paragons because of their extraordinary embodiment of socially valued qualities. Healthy Threes know that they are worth the effort it takes to be “the best that they can be.” Their success at doing so inspires others to invest in their own self-development.

Threes want to make sure their lives are a success, however that is defined by their family, their culture, and their social sphere. In some families, success means having a lot of money, a grand house, a new, expensive car, and other status symbols. Others value ideas, and success to them means distinguishing oneself in academic or scientific worlds. Success in other circles might mean becoming famous as an actor, or model, or writer, or as a public figure of some kind, perhaps as a politician. A religious family might encourage a child to become a minister, priest, or rabbi since these professions have status in their community and in the eyes of the family. No matter how success is defined, Threes will try to become somebody noteworthy in their family and their community. They will not be a “nobody.”

To this end, Threes learn to perform in ways that will garner them praise and positive attention. As children, they learned to recognize the activities that were valued by their parents or peers, and put their energies into excelling in those activities. Threes also learned how to cultivate and develop whatever about them is attractive or potentially impressive.

Everyone needs attention, encouragement, and the affirmation of their value in order to thrive, and Threes are the type which most exemplifies this universal human need. Threes want success not so much for the things that success will buy (like Sevens), or for the power and feeling of independence that it will bring (like Eights). They want success because they are afraid of disappearing into a chasm of emptiness and worthlessness: without the increased attention and feeling of accomplishment which success usually brings, Threes fear that they are nobody and have no value.

The problem is that, in the headlong rush to achieve whatever they believe will make them more valuable, Threes can become so alienated from themselves that they no longer know what they truly want, or what their real feelings or interests are. In this state, they are easy prey to self–deception, deceit, and falseness of all kinds. Thus, the deeper problem is that their search for a way to be of value increasingly takes them further away from their own Essential Self with its core of real value. From their earliest years, as Threes become dependent on receiving attention from others and in pursuing the values that others reward, they gradually lose touch with themselves. Step by step, their own inner core, their “heart’s desire,” is left behind until they no longer recognize it.

Sometimes that high self-esteem can rise up to the sky and Enneagram type 3s can feel like Daenerys without the dragons. This overreaction to their self-perception could cause them to constantly compare themselves to others. As far as average behavior goes, Type 3s are ambitious, always seeking a higher status. But they also feel insecure, and the more they do, the more they self-promote themselves. The Achiever hides their true needs, believing that if they can convince other people of their value they can convince themselves too.

Healthy Enneagram Type 3

Enneagram type 3s feel valuable and useful, productive and fulfilled. No one can tell them who they are and say they are a failure because that ghost does not haunt them anymore. Type 3s have already learned that there is nothing to win; they already have what is essential: themselves. The way other people see them is no longer a limitation, but rather a firewood fueling their fire. The views of others inspire Type 3s to be better, but they are not their main source of nurturing. Achievers are secure, persistent, and focused. They start to thrive because organization and balance improves their work. The best part is that this well-managed energy could lead to Type Threes using their talents for good causes and to help other people, enhancing the world and making it a better place.

Healthy Threes have learned to love themselves for who they are, and not for what they do or what others think of them. This enables them to love others freely as well. If you combine this trait with the ambition, energy and goal-oriented work ethic of Threes, you can imagine how healthy Threes become real powerhouses of action and achievements that contribute to something bigger than themselves. Since they no longer need to lie about themselves, they become authentic role-models who inspire others.

Healthy Levels:

Level 1 (At Their Best): Self-accepting, inner-directed, and authentic, everything they seem to be. Modest and charitable, self-deprecatory humor and a fullness of heart emerge. Gentle and benevolent.

Level 2: Self-assured, energetic, and competent with high self-esteem: they believe in themselves and their own value. Adaptable, desirable, charming, and gracious.

Level 3: Ambitious to improve themselves, to be “the best they can be”—often become outstanding, a human ideal, embodying widely admired cultural qualities. Highly effective: others are motivated to be like them in some positive way.

Average Enneagram Type 3

On average levels of psychological health, the most important thing for Threes is to be viewed as accomplished and successful by others, and for that, they are willing to become whatever person others need them to be. Threes have the uncanny ability to read a room, intuit what the people in it value the most, and then craft a persona that wins those people’s approval. With people skills like that, they tend to be the popular kids. But because of that focus on their image and status, average Threes tend to have trouble actually being honest to themselves – and sometimes others. It’s hard to know who you are when you spend all your days being what others want you to be.

Average Levels:

Level 4: Highly concerned with their performance, doing their job well, constantly driving self to achieve goals as if self-worth depends on it. Terrified of failure. Compare self with others in search for status and success. Become careerists, social climbers, invested in exclusivity and being the “best.”

Level 5: Become image-conscious, highly concerned with how they are perceived. Begin to package themselves according to the expectations of others and what they need to do to be successful. Pragmatic and efficient, but also premeditated, losing touch with their own feelings beneath a smooth facade. Problems with intimacy, credibility, and “phoniness” emerge.

Level 6: Want to impress others with their superiority: constantly promoting themselves, making themselves sound better than they really are. Narcissistic, with grandiose, inflated notions about themselves and their talents. Exhibitionistic and seductive, as if saying “Look at me!” Arrogance and contempt for others is a defense against feeling jealous of others and their success.

Unhealthy Enneagram Type 3

When psychologically unhealthy, Threes don’t learn to disconnect their sense of self-worth from their achievements. Their need to be praised for what they do turns into desperation. They start paying higher and higher prizes for getting that win, that promotion, that woman or man, they think they need to be happy. Unhealthy Threes often become workaholics, burn out or eventually get caught in their own web of lies. Those can be the saddest stories: Threes who never learned to be honest to themselves.

“My unhealthy state is the best unhealthy state in the world because I know the best way to be unhealthy,” said a type 3… never. It’s hard to admit, but behind those amazing and thrilled glory gestures there is a lot of pain and emptiness. Type 3s begin to create lies about themselves, fooling themselves and others. With all the energy spent to hold up their circus, we could build the Lake Pontchartrain Causeway three times. This frustration can often appear in the shape of anger and hostility. Eventually, appearance finally turns into the projection of what Enneagram Type 3s desire, but not what they really are.

Unhealthy Levels:

Level 7: Fearing failure and humiliation, they can be exploitative and opportunistic, covetous of the success of others, and willing to do “whatever it takes” to preserve the illusion of their superiority.

Level 8: Devious and deceptive so that their mistakes and wrongdoings will not be exposed. Untrustworthy, maliciously betraying or sabotaging people to triumph over them. Delusionally jealous of others.

Level 9: Become vindictive, attempting to ruin others’ happiness. Relentless, obsessive about destroying whatever reminds them of their own shortcomings and failures. Psychopathic behavior. Generally corresponds to the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Growth opportunities that are typically associated with the Enneagram 3

• Acknowledging the ways in which they have unintentionally deceived themselves or others

• Understanding that their value does not lie in accomplishments or public image

• Learning to take a step back and appreciate what they already have in life

• Focusing on being themselves, rather than on becoming who they think the world wants them to be

Enjoy Solitude: One of the most helpful things for Threes is to learn to be alone – be it in nature or in their room - to slow down and find times of silence for contemplation and self-reflection.

Find a confidant: Having at least one close friend or a partner they can be vulnerable with is essential for Threes to open up. They need people to love them not just at their best, but also at their worst. It’s hard to go it all alone.

Reframe success: Being successful is not a bad thing in itself: The call for Threes is to find a definition that isn’t derived from the opinions of others but from their own values and desires.

Embrace failure: Not being first isn’t a euphemism for being a loser. Learning to view failures and setbacks as opportunities to grow instead of threats to their identity is crucial for Threes.

Start slowing down now: Nothing is easier for Threes than to push ’unimportant‘ issues to the back of their mind until it’s too late. But there is no need to wait until the car has hit the wall – the sooner they ask themselves the tough questions, the more they benefit from it.