RFC Nautical

History

Formation and Early Years

RFC Nautical was founded in March 2017 under the Rugby Football Union in England. CEO James Beatty and Chairman John Jellicoe took it upon themselves to source eager, seafaring personnel and vessels to partake in an upcoming rugby union 'round robin' tournament in the United Kingdom.

As of November 2017, The RFC Nautical squad remains unchanged since their conception, lending to the club's nickname: the 'Synergy Seamen'. They are considered the strongest team in the RFU and are widely respected for their efficiency in the breakdown. The squad infrastructure is famous for breeding natural leaders and a steadfast work ethic.

RFC Nautical are famed for coming close to silverware but always choking at the final hurdle.

The Great Fullback Crisis of 2017

The Great Fullback Crisis hit many clubs in the Pro 12, and RFC Nautical have now been traced as the source of the infection. There were indeed several indications of an early on-set fullback crisis. Chiefly, Benedict (later nicknamed 'The Bottler) Bow, seemed to completely collapse in crucial cup fixtures, famously bottling a simple penalty to cost them silverware against long time rival club Pets Gone Wild.

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, apparently, as newcomer fullback Albert Aft proved to be a dirty prick, earning himself a 'shithouse' award his first week at the club. These trash tier fullbacks could not be relied upon in high pressure situations, leading to frustration amongst the squad, board and fans alike.

The traditional approach would have been to shoehorn out the useless pair but Davy Jones controversially kept them on, and as it turned out, demonstrated that his coaching is world class. Not to discredit the traditional method however, as both Dido, and to a lesser degree Bernard Lee, have found success in discarding their garbage players.

Davy Jones shifted The Bottler to inside centre thereby removing Albert Aft's first team anxiety and allowing Benedict to exhibit sickening skipping and prancing, as is his calling. Since this tactical shift RFC Nautical have been the team to beat, establishing a heroic run of form close to the end of the Pro 12 2017 season.