Entity 26 - Adam Friedman

Cheesehead

Entity Stats

Entity Number - 26

Description

A mysterious entity, Friedman walks the plane of Level ℵ, forever searching for its remaining 20$ USD. Friedman is an entity of a volatile and hostile nature, easily resorting to extreme violence through Tennis "Fartice." It will repeatedly submit one to such gruesome measures ad nauseum until the victim is forever broken, only fully finished once it has ceased reciting all of its memorized digits of Pi. It will finish his murderous beatings by shooting a small amount of "Snoit", the most deadly weapon at its disposal on the cadaver.

Behavior

Adam Friedman is an extremely religious entity. It worships many things, its most sacred being the small keychain it carries around, known only as "Nosey" (This keychain may be the source of the "Snoit" more information is necessary). Despite this extreme devotion to other religious practices, Friedman is unmistakably Jewish, and will inform you of this with utmost urgency. Doing anything with knowledge of its Judaism will cause it to descend into a blind rage, beating one with Tennis "Fartice" and "Snoit" frantically and relentlessly. Among Friedman's arsenal is Greg Jeremiah Shark the Shark, a small, plush, stuffed shark. This weapon, while it may seem deadly, is oddly benign, and seems to serve mostly as emotional support for Friedman, as he roams Level ℵ mostly alone.

Biology

Friedman's biology is mostly humanoid consisting of typical human limbs arranged in a typical human fashion. This however, is offset by small distinguishing factors, such as its (quote from Friedman himself) "Tennis legs", and its Jewish features. The most off-putting of his characteristics is the grin it makes. It remains holding this expression, to a disturbing degree, with its teeth bared, and his lower lip ever so slightly retreated. My puny words can barely describe the intricacies of this enigmatic, horrifying expression.

Dos and Don'ts

Do:

Avoid contact as much as possible
If Friedman attacks you, swiftly respond with "Is that because I'm ___" and bring your race, or religion into things. This will temporarily bamboozle the entity.

Attack him emotionally. An effective way to hurt its morale is to call it a cheesehead, and pronounce its last name wrong. (Fr-eye-ed Man)
Run away. While it has impressive legs, its stamina and running capabilities are certainly lackluster, and most people can outpace it.

Don't:

Call it Jewish
Attack it directly